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guzzle
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14 Mar 2014, 6:21 pm

Waterfalls wrote:
What are you looking for Guzzzle?

By understanding others I learn to understand myself. So I suppose if I am looking for anything in particular it would be self-understanding.



martianunicorn
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15 Mar 2014, 9:41 am

what do you mean attachment issues?

i dont know what you mean, but at work, i get attached to the clients i work with. when i get moved to another group, i will still miss the previous ones a lot and keep sneaking back to look at them.



guzzle
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15 Mar 2014, 4:36 pm

martianunicorn wrote:
what do you mean attachment issues?

i dont know what you mean, but at work, i get attached to the clients i work with. when i get moved to another group, i will still miss the previous ones a lot and keep sneaking back to look at them.


Thanks for asking.

Just quoting the medics actually. I was 43 when an an anamnese mentioned 'early childhood traumatisation' Attachment issues is another name given to my troubles. Basic trust issues is another terminology that has been used.

How it translates? It's all about trust. I have my own way of bonding with people. I don't discriminate. Family does not get leeway because they are family. I was around 9 when my own mother called me a liar over a memory. I never managed to get my head around that so I kept digging. I have it black on white now (another story altogether). My menory was not an imagining. It really did happen.

So in theory, yes. I could walk away from my partner and even my own child if they compromised my integrity to the point I felt they had betrayed me emotionally.
When meeting new people I will mentally give them the going over. It's not something I can explain, it's a gut feeling literally. It is how I learnt to deal with what came my way as a child. Been 45 years since my primary carer died. And I'm here to tell the story. The shrink that mentioned the early childhood traumatization also decribed my early life as a battlefield. And yes, I have cultivated myself to the point I can seemingly function. As I'm getting older it gets harder though.

The emotional bond you have with your patients is something I don't suffer from so to speak. I can detach myself as it were at the flick of a switch. Every situation is assessed on a mental level. Every social contact is scrutinized, I'm very discerning, I am forever mediating on a mental level trying to be objective within my own subjectivity. It can get very frustrating.

I have no problem asking for help. But whomever crosses my path will get subjected to my mental scrutiny. I prefer fleeting soial contacts. Postman, taxi driver, courier. market trader are all jobs that I have done well in. I'm not a team worker. Never have been and never will be. I do care about people but in my own way.



Ann2011
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15 Mar 2014, 4:42 pm

guzzle wrote:
The emotional bond you have with your patients is something I don't suffer from so to speak. I can detach myself as it were at the flick of a switch. Every situation is assessed on a mental level. Every social contact is scrutinized, I'm very discerning, I am forever mediating on a mental level trying to be objective within my own subjectivity.

Yeah, me too.
I think more people are like this than one would think. Humans are very conniving.


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Waterfalls
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15 Mar 2014, 8:05 pm

Some things get easier, some get much, much harder as I get older.



guzzle
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15 Mar 2014, 9:48 pm

Waterfalls wrote:
Some things get easier, some get much, much harder as I get older.


Care to elaborate?



Waterfalls
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15 Mar 2014, 10:05 pm

guzzle wrote:
And yes, I have cultivated myself to the point I can seemingly function. As I'm getting older it gets harder though.

I was acknowledging and agreeing with this that you had said.



LtlPinkCoupe
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18 Mar 2014, 10:45 pm

I've suspected for awhile that I have insecure attachment and an avoidant personality.


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"IT'S NOT FAIR!" "Life isn't fair, Calvin." "I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in MY favor?" ~ from Calvin and Hobbes