Do you feel like your opinion does NOT matter?

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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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09 Mar 2014, 3:43 pm

I finally realized that the treatment I have been receiving my whole life is discrimination. (Sadly, yes, I just now realized this.)

I use to think that a smile meant people liked me...

I didn't realize the difference between being laughed at and someone laughing with you.

Sometimes people will just dismiss what I say because an inferior aspie couldn't possibly know more than a NT! Right? :roll:

The only people that have ever treated me with respect were kids that also were treated with discrimination. Bigger girls, gay/lesbians and even some kids with different colored skin. They knew how it felt to be different and went out of their way to treat people the same way they wanted to be treated. No wonder we got along so well!

I have been treated with compassion too so it's not like I'm in denial about good people existing. However, compassion isn't exactly the same as having respect for someone. You can still have compassion but look down at someone at the same time.

Have any of you been able to have someone look past your disabilities and see you for a human being and treat you with dignity?



qawer
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09 Mar 2014, 3:52 pm

NTs only respect the opinion of those who play the "social game" well.

That basically means being able to see what benefits the group the most. Those good at that get respect from NTs.

That in particular includes being able to find weaknesses in others - because those weaknesses are disadvantegous to the survival of the group.

Being able to be a bully is in that sense respected. But actually being a bully is not. Because making people feel bad is not good for the group either.

You do not get respect from believing people are equals. Because people cannot contribute equally well to the well being of the group, hence they are not of equal worth.


If you want to be heard in a group of NTs think along the lines: "What benefits the group the most".

I do not think one should put that much prestige in "being heard" by NTs. Who cares about the group, when they give a f**k about the individual?



leafplant
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09 Mar 2014, 4:30 pm

^ This

Also, in my 43 years of life, I have found that most people are only really interested in their own opinions and only care about what others think in so far as that can help them get on in life.



dianthus
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09 Mar 2014, 4:39 pm

I feel and believe that my opinion matters but I don't see many signs that it matters TO other people.



CyclopsSummers
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09 Mar 2014, 5:48 pm

The people in my life who I've encountered so far who've cared about my opinions the most (genuinely), were socionormal extraverts. Or 'NTs', by another name.

For some reason, I find the greatest resonance when it comes to the words I say and the things I do, among people who could almost be called my polar opposites. It's as if we complement each other. People who know how to make me feel really good, are usually extraverts, curiously enough.


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GregCav
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09 Mar 2014, 6:20 pm

qawer wrote:
NTs only respect the opinion of those who play the "social game" well.


In a social environment, this is the truth.
In a professional environment, your profesional opinion will matter greatly to them.



Personnaly, if I'm giving my opinion, I keep in mind that it is just that. "My opinion".
I'm not always correct, I'm not always logical, I like do some things simply because they are silly and not practicle.

It's what "I" think or understand. But I recognise that other people will have their own experiences, thoughts, and desires. They don't have to agree with me, nor did I have to give my opinion.



Al725
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09 Mar 2014, 6:48 pm

I think it matters if it matches their own opinion. I wouldn't take it too personally an NT who had an opinion differing from another would probably get dismissed as well....Unless the particular NT had a knack for arguing.



redrobin62
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09 Mar 2014, 7:39 pm

I've been in situations where people actually asked for my opinion. That usually catches me off guard because I'm the quiet type and would prefer not to give it. Also, my opinion may not go over so well anyway. My thinking tends to be left of center and can really be jarring depending on who's listening.



equestriatola
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09 Mar 2014, 7:44 pm

Well, at times, yeah........ but I do get quite a bit in at times. :)


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10 Mar 2014, 12:05 am

My opinion has always been ignored. And when it (often) proves to be the right one, it's never acknowledged, or at the most - very reluctantly.


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LtlPinkCoupe
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10 Mar 2014, 12:10 am

I feel like my opinions get ignored somewhat because of my "skewed perceptions." As a result, I don't really offer any, and I think people like it that way.


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AspergianMutantt
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10 Mar 2014, 12:12 am

dianthus wrote:
I feel and believe that my opinion matters but I don't see many signs that it matters TO other people.


^ this ^


I have a boss that never seems to listen to me, I tell him how to go about fixing something and he tries everything else first then turns and does what I said acting as if it was his idea. I get that ALOT. but for the most part it does me no good to say much of anything.



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10 Mar 2014, 12:15 am

Yes I get the feeling people think I am just some idiot who has no idea about anything...don't think it does much good. But yes I have gotten that a few times on this forum or other forums....people think its oh so funny I don't get something, or accuse me of being some manipultive smart ass simply because I am trying to understand what they meant. Seems like some people over exaggeratte aboout what I might have done 'wrong' so they have an excuss to be intolerant assholes...I guess IRL I don't get too much of that anymore(not in public school either...I am past college age and cannot work because I am f****d up though according to some I'm not even allowed to say that about myself I am supposed to have a disability yet not be disabled by it according to society and people who think the only way to have unemployment or lack of ability to work a job= laziness and not trying hard enough...that attitude is even apparent on this very forum in case some have not seen it for themselves before.


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Last edited by Sweetleaf on 10 Mar 2014, 1:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

Norny
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10 Mar 2014, 1:10 am

I feel as if my opinion may matter to some, but only if what I say is reputable. I don't understand the whole 'power of the individual' mantra that is popular in modern times.. my voice alone definitely could not make any significant changes.

dianthus wrote:
I feel and believe that my opinion matters but I don't see many signs that it matters TO other people.


If it's any consolation your opinion matters to me because you seem to be incredibly intelligent and I have potential to learn from you. ;P

I'm not saying you have to have proficient intelligence of that type for your opinion to matter to me, but in the case of Dianthus it's the strongest factor.


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aautismgirl
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10 Mar 2014, 7:32 am

Yeah, i always feel like that way. Why does nobody ever listens to me?