Do you feel like your opinion does NOT matter?

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zer0netgain
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10 Mar 2014, 9:08 am

qawer wrote:
NTs only respect the opinion of those who play the "social game" well.


+1

How often do I get shut out of conversation no matter what I have to contribute because they'd rather listen to the less-knowledgeable popular person.... :cry:



XFilesGeek
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10 Mar 2014, 10:22 am

I don't feel like anyone's opinion "matters." :lol:

As for when people don't listen to me, I'm content to let them fall flat on their face. If they don't want to listen to my highly sensible point of view, then screw 'em.

I rarely feel like speaking in the first place, so I'm content to remain silent.


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dianthus
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10 Mar 2014, 1:47 pm

Norny wrote:
If it's any consolation your opinion matters to me because you seem to be incredibly intelligent and I have potential to learn from you. ;P

I'm not saying you have to have proficient intelligence of that type for your opinion to matter to me, but in the case of Dianthus it's the strongest factor.


Wow thank you :oops:



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10 Mar 2014, 2:19 pm

Norny wrote:
If it's any consolation your opinion matters to me because you seem to be incredibly intelligent and I have potential to learn from you. ;P

I'm not saying you have to have proficient intelligence of that type for your opinion to matter to me, but in the case of Dianthus it's the strongest factor.:


+2

:D


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Moondust
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10 Mar 2014, 3:08 pm

It's a vicious circle - the more influence you have over people, the more listened to you are, ie the more influence you have. It's also determining WHO you have influence over. If it's the powerful in the group, then everyone tends to listen to your opinions a lot more.


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androbot2084
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10 Mar 2014, 3:32 pm

the opinion of the autistic never returns void.



Lukecash12
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10 Mar 2014, 5:37 pm

qawer wrote:
NTs only respect the opinion of those who play the "social game" well.

That basically means being able to see what benefits the group the most. Those good at that get respect from NTs.

That in particular includes being able to find weaknesses in others - because those weaknesses are disadvantegous to the survival of the group.

Being able to be a bully is in that sense respected. But actually being a bully is not. Because making people feel bad is not good for the group either.

You do not get respect from believing people are equals. Because people cannot contribute equally well to the well being of the group, hence they are not of equal worth.


If you want to be heard in a group of NTs think along the lines: "What benefits the group the most".

I do not think one should put that much prestige in "being heard" by NTs. Who cares about the group, when they give a f**k about the individual?


I'm sorry but this kind of logic is incredibly cynical and distorted, and it doesn't actually represent "NT's" all that well. "Neurotypical" people can be just as diverse, just as thoughtful and considerate.

When we think like this we are just turning around and hypocritically judging other people. They are humans, not pack animals. We are actually the ones who are delusional sometimes because simply because disconcerting things can happen as a result of pack mentality, does not mean that we should throw pragmatism out the window and become critical of groups and aloof from them altogether. Self preservation and being prudent about your own interests by showing a little bit of discernment with the group, isn't "selling out" at all.

I'm reminded of when I used to work at a lumber mill up in Glendale, Oregon. The fellas there were quite different from me in terms of their idea of morals, and they could seem kind of merciless in their petty group politics. But I didn't "rouse the tiger" or shoot myself in the foot with the group because I had a job to do, and people at home to help feed (my ex wife, my brother and sister-in-law and their kids). Not only that but it isn't as if all groups are like this. I've had plenty of groups of friends that were considerate, and didn't thoughtlessly look for "weaknesses" and support the group like a hive-mind. It wasn't a "social game" we were just people who appreciated and enjoyed other people.

Really, a lot of what I'm hearing in this thread makes me wonder what type of people you folks have chosen to spend time with? I'm sure a lot of you may not be religious or even have a negative opinion of religious people, but one example I could give is the church I go to. We have all kinds of get togethers and do an adult sunday school before the service every week. This is a group of people that I don't have any such issues with. IMO, the problems of the folks in this thread could have more to do with them knowing where to find mature groups of people. I don't mean to imply that you could only find mature people at a church- God knows I've had the exact opposite experience, and have found pigheaded, pack oriented, and close minded people in all kinds of churchs- but it might be kind of like "looking for your soul mate in a bar". Find a club, go to a rally, get together with people you like at work, etc. and you may very well find a group of mature people who can be very receptive to your opinions.

And at the end of the day, maybe it would be healthy of us on occasion to really puzzle on this: "Maybe my opinion isn't being well received because it simply isn't that mature, amenable, reasonable, or fair of an opinion? People aren't idiots or pack minded just based on the sole criteria that they don't appreciate my opinion."

Of course none of this is an excuse for the dim witted groups out there that think we have to band together like we're still living in caves and afraid of anything new or different. Like another poster has already said, I've had bosses who tried everything else and then turned around and took my ideas for a spin while not giving me any credit.


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mr_bigmouth_502
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10 Mar 2014, 6:31 pm

Often times, yes. NTs tend to only listen to the opinions of people who have some standing in a group of people who already share their opinions. I often feel that as an aspie individual, with my own, thought-out opinions and not the usual "groupthink" BS that people usually go by, that nobody wants to listen to my opinions or believe anything that I'm saying, at least not if they feel qualified to say anything about it. If it's something they don't feel as "qualified" about, then they're usually more likely to listen to me.

To put it into simpler terms, NTs are generally group-minded, and aspies are generally individualists.



a_dork
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10 Mar 2014, 7:05 pm

Yes, I feel as though my opinions aren't as valid as those of my peers, especially in casual situations. It isn't that my viewpoints are never considered, rather that they're overshadowed by more popular opinions. So people start gravitating toward the outspoken people and don't give me a chance.


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