Being Forced into Leadership Role Against My Will

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After several months of trying to resist, I'm forced to realize that YES, I will have to be president of my college organization next year...even though I'm clearly not leadership material. Apparently, since I'm the only remaining member who's been the organization since its formation 3 years ago (when I was a freshman) and since I've done such a good job as PR chair and Treasurer, I get the promotion. Yay?

Let's face it: I've been in only a few leadership roles, and each and every time, it's ended in disaster, stress, and wasted time:
1.) In high school, I tried setting up a campaign to improve the quality of school lunches, even going as far as setting up and sending a school-wide survey on people's opinions of current lunches and taking pictures of lunches and showing both to any administrator/health teacher who would listen. But thanks to budget restrictions combined with student-body apathy, it went absolutely nowhere.

2.) I'm currently the 'leader' of a team for a project for a class. If I don't nag at my other teammates to do something, they won't do it. This forces me to constantly email/text them, which is stressful, especially since it's midterms.

3.) I acted as 'interim president' two weeks ago while the president was away at a med school interview. Since everybody else in that club (yes, the same club that I will have to be president for next year) couldn't meet face to face, I had to make a Facebook chat. HARDLY ANYONE SPOKE, AND I WOUND UP HAVING TO CHEW THEM OUT BEFORE THEY DECIDED TO COOPERATE. And even then, not everything got accomplished that the president had wanted done in her absence. A virtual meeting of 15-30 minutes turned into one that lasted an hour and a half because of this, and the stress gave me chest pains. In order to calm down enough to be able to go to sleep, I watched anime until 1 in the morning...which is horrible idea when you have class at 8:40 the next day.

In short, every time I'm a leader for anything, I have to nag people and get bitchy with them to get them to do what needs to be done. There's no such thing as 'asking nicely', because apparently that's a sign that they can just blow me off. Plus, everything goes to s**t because I'm not charismatic or interesting enough to keep people interested.

And I feel the need to beg the question of why I should be a leader in the first place. For starters, I have Asperger's just like most people on this site; that isn't exactly a 'leadership-enabling' condition. Two, I also have ADHD and OCD, so it takes me longer to do the same amount of work as everybody else. Third, like I stated before, I'm neither charismatic or interesting; attracting people my own age has always been a hassle. Most positive comments about me being interesting come from people older than I am.

And no, before you ask, there is no 'backing out'. It's been heavily implied on multiple occassions that this is not optional, and the only 'option' I have is to have a co-president. Ugh.

Congratulations. Can you try to enjoy it, maybe use some humor? Instead of yelling, if you don't want to yell.

Yelling isn't the only way, if you don't want to, you can find another path.

Option 1: Quite the club or organization involved.

Option 2: Create a bulletin board/chalk board page at the organization's web site. On this board put down what each member needs to do, with their name included, and the due date for completion of each task. Have a check box next to each item, so that it can be checked off when it is done. This board should be available to every member to view. A week before an undone item is due, change the color to yellow, and email a friendly reminder to the member responsible for the task, along with a screen image of the bulletin board, showing the item not done yet. A couple of days before an undone item is done, change it to orange, and again email a friendly reminder, again with the copy of the bulletin board.Tthe day before, change it to red, and again email a friendly reminder, and again include a copy of the bulletin board page.

Should they fail to complete the task it is their fault, not yours. If a person has a habit of not fulfilling agreed upon tasks, then in future, do not assign them anything to do. If you repeatedly give work to someone you know won't do it that's foolish.

The bulletin board page serves several functions. It shows them what they need to do, when it needs to be done, and it can also shame them into meeting their obligations, because their work status will be right out there on the public bulletin board. Also, you wont have to nag anybody any more. Either they will do it, or they wont, but it's their call, not yours at that point.

Store keepers sometimes use this method to keep track of their customer's debts. They will have a chalk board on the wall behind the counter where every other customer can see it. The names of people who bought on credit and didn't pay within a month are written on it, and stay on it until the debt is paid. This tends to encourage debtors to pay up quicker, as they don't want the embarrassment of everyone knowing they are in debt, and how much they owe.

You should avoid in the future, joining any organization that places so much emphasis on members being involved in stressful activities. Stick to fun stuff like chess clubs, Lego clubs, and other fun stuff to do. You aren't enjoying it, and it is taking a toll on both your mental and physical health.

Please do give the bulletin/chalk board web page a try, and stop nagging people. Everyone hates being nagged, and some people are just not going to meet their obligations no matter what you do. The bulletin board puts the onus on them. Now get that board up, have some peppermint tea, and then go get some rest.

@questor--unfortunately, the organization doesn't have a website anymore, just a Facebook page, so I'm not quite sure if that plan will still work...thank you for your advice, though!

Most Aspies I know would give up fingers for a chance to be the President of an established club.

You are golden no matter what you do, and they did not push you out the door yet.

I faced a similar position when my group members in high school history class so naturally, I got really angry as I tried to do that best I can to finish it up. Although at some point I notified the teacher and I was relieved that he took my problem seriously. I'm assuming that he knew my work habits well (because during class I would always spend 100% of the time doing the assigned worksheets and I rarely talked to my classmates). So the end result was this: I got the grade, I think it was an A, and two group members who failed to do their part did the skit (which I was able to opt out of).

I faced a similar situation a few years ago. I insisted on a Co-President.