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Toucan
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Joined: 23 Aug 2013
Age: 34
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Posts: 261

12 Mar 2014, 9:19 pm

So...I met this chick from my CL ad regarding the phone app; Kik Messenger.
She's around my type interest wise, physically she is a totem pole; 5'4 108lbs soaking wet.
We only talked as friends. She came clean about her having a BF. But later on she started shunning him. And saying how bad their relationship was going--she was planning to break up with him. Im so-so on it. But she was very adamant about meeting up.

I asked have she ever saw the Anchorman 2 movie since she liked both Will Farrell and Steve Carrell. We went to the movies. But didn't get to see it. But still had a nice time--we rode the bus together. She even kissed me at the movies because she never kissed a black guy before (she's white). And the girl wasn't kidding, her BF barely lets her do crap or they barely dp anything together at all! Because when we were walking the mall stores, she was going 50 steps a minute. And her head was turning all angles. She said, all these different colors are new to me yknow since I don't go out much. Lol


Things were supposedly getting worse between the two: fights, arguments, threats, verbal abuse. And she liked how I was rubbing her hand when we were on the bus.
I told her I am great at massages and love doing them. Things led to another, and she ended up wanting to come over my place. She did.

In that process, I drove a truck for the first time in my life. She got stuck inside the building parking garage, I had to get behind the wheel, reverse all the way out, and park her to the outside parking lot. Some experience.

Anyway, I ended up giving her a nice foot massage first while watching a flick. She even painted her toes for me in knowing I have a foot fetish.
I was rubbing her neck but she gave me a reverse kiss and things got heated all the way.

She came over another time, this time, I gave her a knockout neck, back, and foot massage. Had her snoring a bit at the end.

But in the back of my head, I started to think; Hold on big guy, she's not even broken up with her BF. Not "yet" in the least .
So I hold off on inviting her to do things. And maybe I was right to do so. She started getting mushy and sentimental on me with their relationship. Saying how she doesn't think she'll leave him despite all the BS he puts her through. So the talks aren't as lengthy as they used to be.
Sometimes she'll vent here and there but its not like it was in the beginning. And the early mornin texts stopped; I guess she's under surveillance or something. LoL

But I was going too fast in making hed feel "special". She even said that I have ways in making her feel special. But I am the clear dumbass. Because I felt bummed out that she basically used me; basically. Lol
I mean I felt used. Like, I am her personal high or something. This has happened to me before. But now I think I am starting to get affected. Idk
I know she's gonna want to come over again one of these times. Or hangout someday. I'll just turn it down.

In my head I thought; well, she is serious about breaking up with her BF. And she really likes me. And I like her. So why not show her how something different, I guess.
But I gotta reevaluate myself. It seems like I am craving female attention in the wrong paths. And my attitude towards them is getting edgier...

Forgive my rambling. I literally just used this as a self-expression outlet. Be gentle on me...at least. O.o (covers head)


_________________
My heart, smell like, vanilla ICING
If SLICING my chest open, a BRIGHT beam of NICE things.
Of CHRIST brings BRIGHT wings, placement from THY KING.
Knight seems just right around the corner in my dreams...


sapere_aude
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 21 Feb 2014
Age: 40
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13 Mar 2014, 6:25 am

In my (limited) experience, girls that behave the way she has while saying their relationship is on the rocks will never break up with their boyfriend - unless he ends it.
So far you've been providing her with what she feels is missing from her relationship, and there's nothing wrong with wanting that, but eventually you're going to feel like you've been led on or used which will only make you bitter and frustrated. I understand you want to be there for her, but the person that will benefit the most is her boyfriend. After all, you've been doing all of the hard work that he's supposed to be doing while he doesn't need to do anything except carry on neglecting her.
My advice is to take a step back and stop spending time with her until you're happy just being platonic friends. There's nothing wrong with saying "I need to let things cool off between us, I'm starting to think of you as more than just a friend", she might not like it but she needs to sort things out too instead of trying to divide her relationship between two people.



thewhitrbbit
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Joined: 30 May 2012
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13 Mar 2014, 8:25 am

I think a lot of women view men like that as a safety net.

I avoid them like the plague.



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Toucan
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Joined: 23 Aug 2013
Age: 34
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Posts: 261

13 Mar 2014, 10:38 am

sapere_aude wrote:
In my (limited) experience, girls that behave the way she has while saying their relationship is on the rocks will never break up with their boyfriend - unless he ends it.
So far you've been providing her with what she feels is missing from her relationship, and there's nothing wrong with wanting that, but eventually you're going to feel like you've been led on or used which will only make you bitter and frustrated. I understand you want to be there for her, but the person that will benefit the most is her boyfriend. After all, you've been doing all of the hard work that he's supposed to be doing while he doesn't need to do anything except carry on neglecting her.
My advice is to take a step back and stop spending time with her until you're happy just being platonic friends. There's nothing wrong with saying "I need to let things cool off between us, I'm starting to think of you as more than just a friend", she might not like it but she needs to sort things out too instead of trying to divide her relationship between two people.


That is accurately well put. Her BF might just be benefiting from it. I'm just going to leave us at friends. I went NC (No Contact) for the time being. If she ever reminds me about hanging out I'll just turn her down. It makes no sense to keep going--I could be possibly doing this with someone who cares to give back. It takes me a while to get detached from some women, but it works. Its not impossible.


_________________
My heart, smell like, vanilla ICING
If SLICING my chest open, a BRIGHT beam of NICE things.
Of CHRIST brings BRIGHT wings, placement from THY KING.
Knight seems just right around the corner in my dreams...