AS woman's childbirth labor - Pain or No Pain?

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ghostgurl
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24 Feb 2007, 3:44 am

I could never give birth.


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Starbuline
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24 Feb 2007, 5:59 am

There is no way in Hell I'm giving birth.



faithfilly
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24 Feb 2007, 6:58 am

What would you do if you were pregnant?...would the child have priority or would the mother? Just curious.


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Starbuline
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24 Feb 2007, 7:01 am

Honestly I'd put myself first. I'm unfit for a mother.



faithfilly
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24 Feb 2007, 8:03 am

I thought I would be too before I became pregnant for the first time. Maybe what makes the difference is faith? I've learned to trust God (especially since I never found any person I could truly trust) and see that He has never lied to me, so Him saying in Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" was merely another opportunity to grow in faith.

I hope I'm not coming across as boasting. I understand what other women go through. My daughter was terrified when she discovered she was pregnant and she was torn at first over what to do. I didn't tell her what I thought she should do. All I did was share with her my experience and let her know that I loved unconditonally.

How neat the timing of saying this...yesterday was my grandson's first birthday and today is his first birthday party. Here is a photo of him just before last Christmas:

Image

The joy this boy brings cannot be measured. The way I was raised compared to the way my daughter is raising her son proves to me that God can perform miracles. I feel bad for everyone who misses out on discovering the love children give back. From what I've noticed in this forum so far, it seems like there are too many negative outlooks on Aspie women having children.


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"Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the LORD. "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word." – Isaiah 66:2


wendytheweird
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24 Feb 2007, 9:52 am

I'm not Christian and don't feel faith in a god has anything to do with my being a good mother. I didn't think I wanted kids or would be a good mother before I got pregnant the first time, but now I happily have 3. God had nothing to do with it.



wendytheweird
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24 Feb 2007, 9:54 am

But since we're posting pictures...

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Image



faithfilly
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24 Feb 2007, 1:23 pm

wendytheweird wrote:
I'm not Christian and don't feel faith in a god has anything to do with my being a good mother. I didn't think I wanted kids or would be a good mother before I got pregnant the first time, but now I happily have 3. God had nothing to do with it.


I hope I'm wrong about sensing a bit of bitterness over what I said in my last post here. Please know I'm not trying to win any converts here on this forum. :? However, I must add that I'm also not going to hide who I am to protect others from being offended. Aspergians have to conform too much already for the NT world, so if anyone should be understanding of things like this, it should be others here on WrongPlanet.net. If we are to get to know one another, we need to be real.

If all Christians kept quiet about their faith, then it wouldn't take long before the freedom to express themselves would be lost. People would become too sensitive to the G** word. It's already bad enough (like the agendas to abolish Christmas). Maybe people forget that atheists express their faith constantly?

I hope posting pictures doesn't bother anyone. It would be a shame to not feel comfortable about sharing our lives here, especially children. :wink:


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wendytheweird
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24 Feb 2007, 2:58 pm

I don't mind you posting that. There's nothing wrong w/ having religion. But you said in your post that you thought faith was what makes a difference between feeling unfit and finally just becoming a mother despite your reservations. Maybe you meant that FOR YOU the reason why you got confidence in your ability to bear and raise children was YOUR faith, but your post made it sound like only people w/ faith (and from your post it seemed like you meant faith in the Christian God) would ever find this. And I was pointing out that that wasn't what did it for me. No offense taken. ;)



faithfilly
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25 Feb 2007, 2:43 am

wendytheweird wrote:
Maybe you meant that FOR YOU the reason why you got confidence in your ability to bear and raise children was YOUR faith, but your post made it sound like only people w/ faith (and from your post it seemed like you meant faith in the Christian God) would ever find this. And I was pointing out that that wasn't what did it for me. No offense taken. ;)


I sincerely thank you for letting me know I didn't express myself clearly enough. :wink: I think I don't have enough practice at communicating thoughts. I did mean for me and didn't mean to make it sound like only Christians would ever find this confidence. Please accept my apology for projecting the wrong impression. :oops: There is a world of difference between self-confidence and confidence which comes from trusting God.

Having this discussion provoked a new thought for me to ponder. Now I wonder if one main reason that most people enjoy small talk more than deeper conversations is because that level of communication takes less effort and is safer since the risk of misunderstanding doesn't come close to the ones that are a greater mental challenge? As the level of talk deepens, it seems to demand more attention to detail.


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wendytheweird
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25 Feb 2007, 10:59 am

I personally think most people just aren't very intelligent. ;) Maybe that's harsh. But it seems to be true. And since they don't understand things, they're uncomfortable talking about them. THey even usually have no interest to learn more. Me, I like to learn everything about everything.

And I'm not very clear when I talk or write either, so I totally understand that part.



ZanneMarie
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25 Feb 2007, 2:03 pm

I find most people are afraid. They are afraid to stand out and afraid to be thought of as different. That's why they just go along and don't question. Learning about everything only means that they question and people will think they are weird. So, they shut and go along. That has been what I have observed with many of them. I do know some really great and intelligent "NT's." I've known some dirtbags. I've known many inbetween. They are just like us in other words, they are all different.


As to labor, can't speak to that. I have no idea at all! LOL



faithfilly
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26 Feb 2007, 9:09 am

wendytheweird wrote:
I personally think most people just aren't very intelligent. ;) Maybe that's harsh. But it seems to be true. And since they don't understand things, they're uncomfortable talking about them. THey even usually have no interest to learn more. Me, I like to learn everything about everything.


Hey...the new way I'm seeing things now is that we (Aspies) have been (and probably will continue to be, especially those of us who have become too old to look like innocent children anymore) treated way more harshly many more times than the average person.

So, what's wrong with being honest and saying that most people aren't very intelligent, especially when it's the truth? It's just a fact, but it is not something to brag about. We have no control over how we are born. There are two down sides to higher intelligence: more responsibility and increased risk of depression. At the other end of the scale, the less intelligent have less to be held accountable for and it's easier for them to be happy.

It's hard to tell if (and/or when) it is that others don't understand things because they have no interest to learn more or if it's that they have no interest to learn more because they are not equipped to understand things. If it's the later, I can see why they would act like things are not so important to learn more about it (and thereby call those do have the interest, 'obsessed').

Good example: I was teaching my (home schooled) son upper college level math. My sister-in-law (one who likes to make fun of me) walked over to look at the book. Her reaction was laughter. She actually said, "What on earth do you need to learn that for?!" I tried to politely say, "It's to expand his mind and that it's healthy to work the brain." I'm the fool for thinking that'd she'd even care to know the truth or understand it. Talk about rude! Imagine someone walking into a public school classroom and behaving like that in front of the class to the instructor? It wouldn't be tolerated.

So, would you like to learn more about the latest fashion, hottest movie star, and gossip too? :lol:


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faithfilly
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26 Feb 2007, 9:51 am

ZanneMarie wrote:
I find most people are afraid. They are afraid to stand out and afraid to be thought of as different. That's why they just go along and don't question. Learning about everything only means that they question and people will think they are weird. So, they shut and go along. That has been what I have observed with many of them. I do know some really great and intelligent "NT's." I've known some dirtbags. I've known many inbetween. They are just like us in other words, they are all different.


I agree. Unfortunately the way that most people handle that fear is by trying to make us look like we have the problems. :( Most of our problems though are the ones they helped to create. :lol:


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ZanneMarie
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26 Feb 2007, 10:26 am

faithfilly wrote:
ZanneMarie wrote:
I find most people are afraid. They are afraid to stand out and afraid to be thought of as different. That's why they just go along and don't question. Learning about everything only means that they question and people will think they are weird. So, they shut and go along. That has been what I have observed with many of them. I do know some really great and intelligent "NT's." I've known some dirtbags. I've known many inbetween. They are just like us in other words, they are all different.


I agree. Unfortunately the way that most people handle that fear is by trying to make us look like we have the problems. :( Most of our problems though are the ones they helped to create. :lol:


Of course they do that. It's called projection and it's a self defense mechanism, nothing more. It has nothing to do with us personally. They end up doing that to many people who shake up their beliefs. When you deal with that behavior, it is always good to remember that. It helps you keep it in the perspective where it belongs instead of letting it destroy you. It also helps you see that they don't just do that to any one group or person.