Dealing with someone who won't take no for an answer

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,157

13 Mar 2014, 4:40 pm

Hi:
I have lived in a condo complex for a little over 4 years now and I like most of my neighbors while there are others that I do not like. One of the neighbors lives one building over to the right of mine and has seemed to have the bit of a crush on me. However, this is one of those types of people who you can give hints that you are not interested in until the cows come home and it does not seem to phase them. They also have some mental problems as well. I have also heard that this person has a bad temper and has gotten themselves into trouble many time.

Others along with myself have told this person countless times that I want to be left alone. It works for a while then they are right back at it.

Now while they are not stalking me or anything, they keep wanting to try and talk with me or wave at me whenever they walk by or drive by.

I am running out of ideas and I want to give this person the hint the right way. How do I do that?



tarantella64
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,850

13 Mar 2014, 5:35 pm

Stop responding. Don't wave back, don't speak, just walk on by. If the person insists on getting in your face and making conversation, tell him clearly that you do not want him to bother you anymore. Don't make explanations, just say you don't want him to bother you, and you want him to leave you alone. If he bothers you again, call the police and take out a restraining order against him. If you have a smartphone, record yourself telling him that you don't want him to bother you again.



Adamantium
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2013
Age: 1024
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,863
Location: Erehwon

13 Mar 2014, 5:56 pm

Hints seems like a weird approach to this situation. Are you afraid of some kind of negative reaction if you just say it? "I am really not interested in any kind of relationship with you" ?

I am not saying you are wrong about this--I just don't quite get it.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,157

13 Mar 2014, 7:47 pm

This person can get pretty hostile and I have seen it happen. For instance, I had wrote him a note and left it on their property telling them to leave me alone and mind their own business. I ended up getting a torn letter thrown on my door step and this was a year and a half ago.


I also delivered an ultimatum to them that I would call the police if the they did not take a hint. They again got hostile and said "Fine go into your house you're acting like a child. B&^%ch.

Again, while they don't stalk me, they saw me coming home by getting off the bus and set up a card table and plugged their laptop into our building outside my condo by mooching off one of my neighbor's wifi. A family member of mine happened to drop some things off while they were doing it.



AngelRho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile

13 Mar 2014, 9:15 pm

If someone is invading your space, communicating with you, etc., in such a way that causes you mental or emotional distress, even after you've told this person to stop, technically that IS harassment. Look into applicable laws for your jurisdiction. Make sure you have at least two friends who have witnessed this person's behavior and can vouch for you that you've told this person to leave you alone and they've seen you become visibly upset any time you've had any contact. Put all that together and go to the cops.

Keep in mind this is only a misdemeanor charge and all that's going to happen is he gets a slap on the wrist. If a simple "leave me alone, you're upsetting me" isn't enough, perhaps what we need is a day in front of the JP. Nobody likes getting arrested and paying fines.



MissMaria
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2014
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 59
Location: Not from around here

15 Mar 2014, 6:05 am

Do you have an owner's association or property manager you can report this neighbor's behavior to?

It seems that if he doesn't live in your building and isn't visiting anyone in your building, he shouldn't be in your building.

Perhaps you could consult an attorney and ask whether your best course of action is a trip to the police station or an appearance at the next owner's association meeting, to let "whomever needs to know" that this neighbor is an "unwanted person" within such-and-such a distance of your condo/building.