Tinder

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Does anyone else use Tinder ? i'm not having much sucess with it or dating sites like okc and pof what do you say in a conversation to keep the other person interested ?

Yeah I use tinder.
I personally think it´s pretty ok. I am a girl though so it might be easier to keep the other person interested for me...

I have used quite a few sites, I actually don't work to keep people interested. I am my genuine person, this way I don't have to keep pretending to be someone else once the real dating starts - only people who really care for the real me will keep going.

i deleted it in the end taking up too much of my time and effecting my mood

What is Tinder?

basically like hot or not. You get girls that use Tinder within a 100 mile radius. All you get is a couple pictures and a very brief bio. You either check-mark or swipe right if you like them.

If they like you back, you get connected and you can talk to them through the app. You can't talk to them unless you match. From what I've heard it's used mostly for hook-ups though. I got over 100 matches right now, so that's my humble brag.

Also, the girls are more attractive on Tinder but if you want a relationship, OKC is a bit better imo.

Installed it for 20 seconds decided it was s**t and got rid of it.

That's my review.

Tinder is a huge waste of time

Tinder is starting to work for me.

2 girls have message me. One of whom I had a brief exchange with, but she's on holiday now and hasn't signed in since last Tuesday, so it's unclear whether I'll get any more replies but the ball is in her court so to speak with me having sent the last message. Another one messaged me yesterday and has sent me 5 messages total, I've sent 4 and the ball is now in my court, what I'm realising is I'm finding it uncomfortable to talk to strangers like this and the conversation is not flowing smoothly, not because I don't know what to say or lack things to say, but because I'm uncomfortable about getting to know them, and opening up about myself. And I'm really uncomfortable about sending the kind of flirtatious messages I know I "should" be sending if I actually wanted to meet them. So I wait for ages to send a message and it usually ends up being the same conservative reply I drafted in my head as soon as I read their message. I guess it's too early to tell how this strategy is working out.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLoRPielarA[/youtube]

Exactly why I DON'T have a Tinder account.

I'm the same way and it cost me a chance to date a girl, it sucks but that's is our aspie mindset, very conservative. Important note is just cuz it says they were on a week ago doesn't mean they don't see your messages. That "one week ago" thing is when they last opened the app, so if they have it on in the background it won't reset the timer. Stupid I know.

It's hard because you have at max 2 sentences about themselves. On OKC, you have almost a whole page worth of stuff to talk about and you can find out if you are compatible or not way easier on OKC. Like I said, Tinder is mostly for hookups so if you want an actual relationship be careful...

Tinder is an app where everyone is encouraged to lie to catch the other persons attention.


Im aware people lie/try to present their best self on dating sites too but when a dating thing becomes known for how much people lie on it I stay the hell away from it because I can barely handle the standard dating sites.

I tried OKC, last time I tried I sent about 17 messages to different girls and got no replies, I think some of them might actually have been compatible, very disappointing, but oh well. I had another OKC account before that where I sent a similar number of messages and got 1 reply but nothing came of it.

I think part of the problem is I don't know myself very well at all, apparently that's normal at age 24, but it's a killer because I need to sell myself but I don't even know what I'm selling. A hookup type app like Tinder is a good way to avoid that, but it's pointless if I can't work up the courage to actually hookup with one of these girls.

Meanwhile I'm still coming to terms with how autistic I am. My behaviour during my formative years was very much autistic, and it left me unprepared for a normal life. Now I feel like I don't know myself. I'm great at watching for social queues and imitating people and generally 'fitting in' but it seems to take more than just fitting in to find a mate, it takes initiative and a killer instinct that I seem to totally lack.

Plus I seem to have a lot of depressive type thoughts still floating around my head. I keep thinking things like "nobody talks to me" which used to be true, but it's not anymore, and yet it still pops into my head fairly regularly. I don't really know how to deal with that either.

I was thinking about making another thread asking how you get to know yourself and find socially acceptable hobbies and what not but I'm not sure of everything I want to say. Maybe the truth is I'm just too lazy to lead an active life and I would rather sit around doing nothing and the depression that results is a small price to pay for a peaceful life?

I didn't have a ton of success. I had over a 50% response rate on OKC, the problem is getting to the point of actually meeting with them is hard. I had to quit OKC due to OKC blocking Firefox due to the boss at firefox being anti-gay. I've learned that you have to decide quickly if a girl is a flake or not. It's hard for us aspies to know when the time is right to push to escalate things. Like I said in my last post, I waited to long to escalate, she was flirting with me, she found another dude during that time. They aren't dating anymore so we both messed up I guess.

I know how you feel, I'm a little scared about how they would react because I bet at least half the girls who look at my recent pics don't think I'm autistic, so that would throw them for a loop.It also hurts the ego when you get rejected by a crush.

What do you like to do in your free time? Play sports? Video games? Draw? You've got to find yourself first. After you know what you like to do, try joining a group around your area that does your interests. An example for me was I was a big basketball player, love playing it. I found a group at college that loves playing too. We clicked because we had similar hobbies and boom, had about 20-30 new friends I still play bball with this day.

Friends aren't just going to show up at your doorstep, you've got to make an effort. Go to a meeting of a group that you are interested in joining, if they aren't your type of people, then you tried, which is more than a lot of NT people these days.

My last point, and I think is the most important, is finding a motivation, yes, important enough to bold, to do what you want to do. If you can't find a motivation, then yes, you are gonna be lazy and thinking about what-ifs. My advice is too go around your area or do some research on a topic that interests you, find some other people who enjoy doing it, and go from there.