The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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squirrelonthego
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29 Sep 2015, 4:10 pm

Quote:
What was the level of severity you received? I was given Aspergers diagnosis but at moderate to severe level. I have burnt out or regressed in my 50's but the diagnoses a couple of years ago explained why most of my life happened the way it did. I knew I was different but had no idea how much and how much coping I was doing. It remained less noticible in me because I am more the shutdown then meltdown type.

Welcome to wrong planet



Classic Autism, non-verbal (at times), catatonia, (severity level 3). I have known about my ADHD - Inattentive since my late 20's when my boys were diagnosed and the Dr. looked at me and said, "Don't wonder where your boys got it, you are worse than they will ever consider being". Sad, when a doctor is testing your children who are bouncing off the walls and he doesn't even have to test you. I knew about my learning disabilities since I was a child and learned to work around them (and blamed them on being a preemie -- and surviving it in that day and age). I cannot tell you how many times I had to take Algebra in college to get through it. Even though through all of that, I have a Master's Degree and technical training equivalent to a Master's (if I'd had my BS at the time, I would've been awarded the degree).

Truthfully, I am glad it was never caught earlier because I believe it would have limited me in ways that I couldn't even imagine. I also believe it would have limited my two sons - one of them is a dead ringer for me. He prefers to stay un-diagnosed for fear of limiting his career.



ASS-P
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30 Sep 2015, 2:41 pm

...I'm just a failure :cry: read my recent " Wettened , etc. " and " I'm out ! But..." recent posts for background :( .



voleregard
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10 Oct 2015, 4:03 pm

squirrelonthego wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
What was the level of severity you received?

Classic Autism, non-verbal (at times), catatonia, (severity level 3). I have known about my ADHD - Inattentive since my late 20's when my boys were diagnosed and the Dr. looked at me and said, "Don't wonder where your boys got it, you are worse than they will ever consider being". Sad, when a doctor is testing your children who are bouncing off the walls and he doesn't even have to test you.

squirrel, can you share about what kind of testing was done? I've considered an evaluation, but I don't want to just go in and give a list of symptoms and have someone just say whether they think it's ASD or not. Was this a clinical diagnosis (evaluation based on reported/observed symptoms) or was there neurological or physiological testing performed? Welcome to WP!



syzygyish
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12 Oct 2015, 6:21 am

ccflowergirl wrote:
I’ve never posted in here before cause I really didn't understand what your support to say, or thought that you had to know every one , but I’m hoping that something random is ok, it was brought to my attention that I was a Velociraptor right now , a dinosaur, so I thought it fitting that I post some thing. a had read a kind of poem by Ulysses S Grant the other day on the second half of our life’s , living with love and purpose, which lead to me writing my own poem and I thought I’d share it with you dino’s, for what its worth;



The second half of our lives

I feel my life is not almost over but really I'm just beginning
My battle of self discovery I think I'm winning

To have purpose is one thing, but love can be quite another
And what good is life, unshared with Each other?

If there is no hand to hold, or voice to whisper in my ear
is it then only that loneliness, not age that I should fear?

The second half of are life's an adventure still to live,
with ripening experiences we have so much to give.

Its no wonder that fall is my most very favorite season,
just watching the mature leave falling down, will tell you the Reason.

Like the leafs of autumn, are color deepens, becomes rich,
and after years of struggles, trying, we have fond are own niche.

And though good times and mistakes I've but one regret,
there is still know one to love and share a beautiful sunset.

I walk alone though my life's garden like leaves blowing in the wind,
Only waiting and longing for the moment a lover may touch my skin.

And I dream over and over of tasting his tender kiss,
And feeling his Arms Around me is not the only think I Miss.

But as I go on day by day I look unto purpose, to fill my tomorrow,
And my days are busy, filled with joy, yet night brings only sorrow.

So what of love? Would that in mid life make us complete?
Is there yet a long lost soul mate I'm destined to meet?

Or did in fear I miss my chance many years ago, living in a shadow
Failing to communicate, housebound, looking only from the window

And how can love and trust be made from a heart of fear?
When it's only been in that life's second half that I'm mature enough to be sincere.

Finally able to use my words to explain my needs and be that whole person,
I'm not wanting to miss the experience of a relationship for this I am certain.

As for love and purpose, who really knows life's little mystery?
A hundred years from now our life destiny, like the dinosaurs, will be just history.

Ccflowergirl
(Cindy)


ccflowergirl wrote:
I’ve never posted in here before cause I really didn't understand what your support to say, or thought that you had to know every one , but I’m hoping that something random is ok, it was brought to my attention that I was a Velociraptor right now , a dinosaur, so I thought it fitting that I post some thing. a had read a kind of poem by Ulysses S Grant the other day on the second half of our life’s , living with love and purpose, which lead to me writing my own poem and I thought I’d share it with you dino’s, for what its worth;



The second half of our lives

I feel my life is not almost over but really I'm just beginning
My battle of self discovery I think I'm winning

To have purpose is one thing, but love can be quite another
And what good is life, unshared with Each other?

If there is no hand to hold, or voice to whisper in my ear
is it then only that loneliness, not age that I should fear?

The second half of are life's an adventure still to live,
with ripening experiences we have so much to give.

Its no wonder that fall is my most very favorite season,
just watching the mature leave falling down, will tell you the Reason.

Like the leafs of autumn, are color deepens, becomes rich,
and after years of struggles, trying, we have fond are own niche.

And though good times and mistakes I've but one regret,
there is still know one to love and share a beautiful sunset.

I walk alone though my life's garden like leaves blowing in the wind,
Only waiting and longing for the moment a lover may touch my skin.

And I dream over and over of tasting his tender kiss,
And feeling his Arms Around me is not the only think I Miss.

But as I go on day by day I look unto purpose, to fill my tomorrow,
And my days are busy, filled with joy, yet night brings only sorrow.

So what of love? Would that in mid life make us complete?
Is there yet a long lost soul mate I'm destined to meet?

Or did in fear I miss my chance many years ago, living in a shadow
Failing to communicate, housebound, looking only from the window

And how can love and trust be made from a heart of fear?
When it's only been in that life's second half that I'm mature enough to be sincere.

Finally able to use my words to explain my needs and be that whole person,
I'm not wanting to miss the experience of a relationship for this I am certain.

As for love and purpose, who really knows life's little mystery?
A hundred years from now our life destiny, like the dinosaurs, will be just history.

Ccflowergirl
(Cindy)


Beautifull, deep and like life, mysterious
and also full of hidden hints
of loss and love and secret sorrow

Beautifull, heartfelt and heartbreaking! :(
Also,

Wonderfull and Amazing!

:D


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-Jaleb

some

people say eyes are the windows into the soul
but aren't hearts, minds and souls
the window into which you should look?


syzygyish
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12 Oct 2015, 7:08 am

squirrelonthego wrote:
I've been "lurking" around on Wrongplanet for over a year now and have finally decided to try and be a bit more social about it (no guarantees though). Three years ago my life started spiraling out of control suddenly, when I suddenly started "melting down", having more than the usual amount of communication issues, and left me feeling confused. I had major issues with it in my teens and then in my twenties, but all had been "mostly" quiet for years. I would not say that I was ever confused for NT, but because at the time I worked in IT and was talented, my "eccentricities and bluntness" was overlooked as part of what you deal with in that field. Where it really became obvious and bad was right after I finished graduate school retraining to a more social field of work. All of my learning disabilities (I knew that I had) converged, plus the meltdowns -- it just got ugly.

A friend, who is an MH professional, had whispered in my ear before that she thought I had autism, so I spent the time, money and effort being tested.

We expected the report to come back stating the I was on the spectrum (probably HFA or Asperger's level); however, we were wrong, the level of severity was a hug slap in the face and sent both my husband and I reeling for several months. It explained so much, but at the same time, I spent days, weeks, months even trying to figure out how it had been missed if I was this bad for 50 years. The best we all came up with was that I have always been a master coper, and after stepping back through my life, there was always someone there to help me and mentor me (always) -- teach me a different way, explain it a different way, something.

The psychologist said there could be many reasons why I went into a regression, but she stands by her diagnosis and believes that while I can volunteer, I will most likely not be ever able to handle working in the career field again.

So, glad to be here... I will try to be somewhat friendly.


OMG!

I remember reading this post and thinking,
that's what I went through,
years and decades spent agonising about how I am difirent and nobody enderstands and
I'm just a pilloried target!

squirrelonthego
I don't know why nobody in The Dino-Aspie Cafe replied to you?

maybe it's a failure in character?
maybe it's just apathy to new posters?
maybe there's a crowd here who think this is their crowd? :oops:

I don't know
I just wanted to reply to you and state to you that I think you are as welcome on this site as anyone else
and I think it's a shame that you only ever posted here ten times

I think you could have contributed to WP a lot more than you did !

If you see this
Hugs &
Hearts &
Tears

If you don't see this

Farewell
and brave the frontiers of life and death
with grace, impunity and abandon


_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb

some

people say eyes are the windows into the soul
but aren't hearts, minds and souls
the window into which you should look?


mil1lion
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25 Mar 2018, 11:32 pm

I weary of this crushing non-specific pain of unkown etiology.... it's a vicious circle, I feel bad so I go out, I usually have a good time, then I crash, and I feel bad so I go out, I usually have.... the only drugs that help I get from Willie down the street, he's also my bartender... Synergy is a way of life, it seems to have worked out okay thus far, I earned my BFA in photography as an honor grad. Some days I feel like I'm wading through waist deep pudding and other days you can't hold me back. I see the word 'Normal' appearing all through this thread, if normal means I lose my 140 IQ I will remain the tortured ponce I am.... only wishing for someone to talk with from time to time...



sinsboldly
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26 Mar 2018, 2:45 pm

mil1lion wrote:
I weary of this crushing non-specific pain of unkown etiology.... it's a vicious circle, I feel bad so I go out, I usually have a good time, then I crash, and I feel bad so I go out, I usually have.... the only drugs that help I get from Willie down the street, he's also my bartender... Synergy is a way of life, it seems to have worked out okay thus far, I earned my BFA in photography as an honor grad. Some days I feel like I'm wading through waist deep pudding and other days you can't hold me back. I see the word 'Normal' appearing all through this thread, if normal means I lose my 140 IQ I will remain the tortured ponce I am.... only wishing for someone to talk with from time to time...



that crushing non-specific pain is a known etiology, mil1lion. The cause is your body's inability to metabolise the organic chemicals that were produced by the fermentation of sugars, especially glucose, (alcohol) is the manner of causation of the disease or condition you might be experiencing. (dipsomania)

I suggest this because I, too have that condition,and may I say, you described it perfectly!. I had to dig out from that pudding and live in the non-pudding world. I know what you mean about synergy and relaxing on the wave of being in the right place at the right time (i showed up to the (1st)Woodstock Festival, FFS.)

Then I had finally had enough with what you are describing, I drew people towards me (like you are doing) that saw my problem and (listen,this is important) I listened to them, and put those new practices to work in my life. What a difference it has made!

See, I didn't know I was autistic when I drank, and didn't know I was autistic when I stopped the crushing non-specific pain in my life, so I was never tempted to say. . . "but I am difffffferent!! you don't underrrrrstand ~_~
I want to assure you that it works even for people like us. So put the kibosh on all the skepticism, dispose of moral superiority, and re-learn a little intellectualism discipline and literally get with the program. Please care enough for that person you were and do it for him.

But you won't lose your brilliance of thoughts, if anything, you will brush off that degree and smoothly move yourself into a whole new gear in your professional life. It works, if you work it, and damned if it isn't so!

I was the other way around, I didn't get my degree and career until after I kicked that crushing pudding filled life to the curb. You can too! It's only the most difficult thing in your life, but you will respect yourself throughout eternity.

you can post me privately, if you like

Merle


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