Can I be beautiful at any size above an 18?

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xxZeromancerlovexx
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19 Mar 2014, 3:28 pm

My medication recently got cut back by 10 milligrams. I'm really worried that if my medication doesn't work I will have to change to another medication and gain weight or in my case gain in clothing size.

I've been put on a medication that has made me gain before and it really sucked. I just was wondering if I can be this beautiful, glamorous woman who refuses to wear men's clothes and cakes on makeup at any size above an 18. I've worked so hard to become and feel beautiful.

P.S. I am a size 18 right now.


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Atom1966
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19 Mar 2014, 9:29 pm

I went from a scary size 6 to a size 12/14 and that only took me one year.
I used to hate my own body because I used to be far too skinny. I am much more at ease with myself since I've gained some weight. Most people think it suits me better and the ones who claim they prefer the skinnier version of me should not be taken seriously because they are nuts and on the whole pretty damn ugly themselves.

Anyway, I don't even care what other people think of my extra weight as long as I'm okay with it.
Women should have some curves. Being underweight is more unattractive than being a little overweight in my view.



aspiekelly
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19 Mar 2014, 10:18 pm

I have gained weight and now I wear Size 20-22. I am becoming happy with how I look, but it's because I am knowing that I am the most active and healthiest I've been in AGES. I know it doesn't make much sense but I have cut down on pop (quit it altogether for a bit-my weakness) and used to eat fast food pretty much every day (I quit that!) so I am making the best, healthy choices. I don't think I'm built to ever be skinny though!

This week I was approved to donate blood for the first time in several years (iron was always too low or blood pressure too high), now my only issue is that my blood is too slow, so they said to go back end of May and drink TONS of water beforehand, I am super excited to donate and I feel great.



pinkgurl87
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27 Mar 2014, 9:42 am

I think you can be beautiful at any size. I'm a size 18 too, I struggle with my self esteem but I have also been really thin and that was not fun either. It's not about the weight it's about what is on the inside and the confidence the person has.


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queensamaria
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28 Mar 2014, 4:35 pm

The truth is you are beautiful for who you are inside.


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11 Apr 2014, 8:13 pm

You can be beautiful at any size. Queen Latifa is a size 18 and is gorgeous. You can also still find fashionable women's clothing above size 18 and there is no size limit to wearing make-up.



AutisticGuy1981
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12 Apr 2014, 10:26 am

yes if you make an effort with your appearance and don't look like a slob.
exercise a little to try and stay somewhat toned, it won't make much of a difference but you can usually notice the difference between a fat slob and someone who is fat but still active



tarantella64
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12 Apr 2014, 11:19 am

AutisticGuy1981 wrote:
yes if you make an effort with your appearance and don't look like a slob.
exercise a little to try and stay somewhat toned, it won't make much of a difference but you can usually notice the difference between a fat slob and someone who is fat but still active


Well, that's...charming.
Way to judge, AutisticGuy1981.

Anyway. OP, yeah, there are gorgeous fat women all over the place, of course you can be beautiful. The only think I'd ask is whether you really have to be on the meds -- or more of the meds -- because messing with metabolism seems to me a generally bad idea; it's not just weight that changes, it's lipids, insulin levels, all kinds of things. But I have a lifetime of experience as a small, dead-center-normal-BMI woman, and I can tell you, men really prefer what they used to call a "big fine woman". (I don't know if attractiveness to men is bundled in what you call 'beautiful'.) Don't let the magazines kid you.



AutisticGuy1981
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12 Apr 2014, 5:20 pm

tarantella64 wrote:
AutisticGuy1981 wrote:
yes if you make an effort with your appearance and don't look like a slob.
exercise a little to try and stay somewhat toned, it won't make much of a difference but you can usually notice the difference between a fat slob and someone who is fat but still active


Well, that's...charming.
Way to judge, AutisticGuy1981.

Anyway. OP, yeah, there are gorgeous fat women all over the place, of course you can be beautiful. The only think I'd ask is whether you really have to be on the meds -- or more of the meds -- because messing with metabolism seems to me a generally bad idea; it's not just weight that changes, it's lipids, insulin levels, all kinds of things. But I have a lifetime of experience as a small, dead-center-normal-BMI woman, and I can tell you, men really prefer what they used to call a "big fine woman". (I don't know if attractiveness to men is bundled in what you call 'beautiful'.) Don't let the magazines kid you.

How am I judging ? I'm just saying most large ladies let them self goes and it shows.
don't ask for peoples opinions if you don't want them to be honest especially on an ASD forum



tarantella64
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12 Apr 2014, 6:13 pm

There's a difference between honest and prejudiced, also between honest and rude. Not to mention a difference between honest and ignorant. How is it you know about "most large ladies"? Have you met and seen them all?

Nearly 70% of the adult US population is overweight, at this point. And yet people somehow manage to bathe, get themselves dressed neatly, groom themselves, and go off to work. The majority of the clientele in nearly any hair salon, likewise, is overweight, as are many if not most of the stylists.

For "large ladies" you should perhaps substitute "most ladies". I don't know where you live, but where I live, most women are not shambling slobs. Nor can I imagine any reason why anyone would want to prejudge people they've never met as "slobs", or decide that most people in some category ought to be labeled that way.

It'd be far more reasonable, I think, for me to assume that mostly-unemployed autistic men living with their parents and having to be reminded of hygiene were slobs. And yet, curiously enough, that kind of judgment doesn't show up by itself in my imagination when I'm reading this board. Maybe because I don't assume that people I've never met are or are not slobs.



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12 Apr 2014, 6:14 pm

I was confident with my body when I was a size 22. I was kind of invisible though. I didn't really attract guys above the size of 18, but that could have been for any reason. There are plenty of guys out there who'll date big women and vice versa.

I get a lot more glances at size 12-14, I think because my hourglass shape shows a lot more, and because I have far more choice in nicer clothes to wear. Nice clothes/colours always get attention.

I would just recommend you dress as nicely as you can. You don't need makeup. Pastel colours get attention. Short skirts get lots of leers, so I don't wear those anymore. And really, my thighs are huge. :lol: I didn't care though, and still wouldn't if it weren't for the leers. Wearing mid to long skirts works. Trousers look unfeminine, unless you have that look with the long top/dress combined with trousers, I think that's OK. Long coats work too.


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Last edited by smudge on 12 Apr 2014, 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

smudge
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12 Apr 2014, 6:28 pm

smudge wrote:
I was confident with my body when I was a size 22. I was kind of invisible though. I didn't really attract guys above the size of 18


Actually, come to think of it, I did.


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AutisticGuy1981
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13 Apr 2014, 12:10 pm

tarantella64 wrote:
There's a difference between honest and prejudiced, also between honest and rude. Not to mention a difference between honest and ignorant

yes and you don't know what that difference is clearly.....

OP asked for an opinion and she got a blunt honest opinion, You know it's an ASD forum... It's an ASD trait...
I have nothing against fat people.... my ex wasn't exactly slim when I got with her and she certainly wasn't that same size some 10+ years later.
It doesn't bother me at all..

You clearlt took my reply personally even though I never made it as personal remark.

When I say "most large ladies" I obviously meant "most large ladies in my experience"
I don't live in a country where 70% of the population are overweight so I wouldn't know what it's like in America other than from the people of walmart website.....



tarantella64
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13 Apr 2014, 12:46 pm

AutisticGuy1981 wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
There's a difference between honest and prejudiced, also between honest and rude. Not to mention a difference between honest and ignorant

yes and you don't know what that difference is clearly.....

OP asked for an opinion and she got a blunt honest opinion, You know it's an ASD forum... It's an ASD trait...
I have nothing against fat people.... my ex wasn't exactly slim when I got with her and she certainly wasn't that same size some 10+ years later.
It doesn't bother me at all..

You clearlt took my reply personally even though I never made it as personal remark.

When I say "most large ladies" I obviously meant "most large ladies in my experience"
I don't live in a country where 70% of the population are overweight so I wouldn't know what it's like in America other than from the people of walmart website.....


UK has about 2/3 of the population overweight or obese; you're not awash in skinny minnies either.

I'm not overweight, but I took it personally in the sense that I find rudeness towards someone who's trying to deal with a problem many stigmatize socially to be -- just awful, offensive, entirely uncalled for. If you can't comment on these things without being insensitive -- suggesting that most overweight women are "slobs" -- then maybe just don't comment. This is supposed to be a supportive forum.

Also, for crying out loud -- the "I can't be racist, some of my best friends are black" argument? It doesn't work in this context, either. Note also that the OP's question wasn't "will I still be attractive to AutisticGuy1981". Or, for that matter, whether she'd be attractive to some group of men. She asked whether she could still be beautiful.



xxZeromancerlovexx
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14 Apr 2014, 7:09 pm

I got my regular dose of that med back so I don't have to worry anymore. I'm also on a strict diet right now and have lost some weight. Everything is okay :wink:

One thing I'd like to bring up is that my clothing size isn't that large. I've heard that a size 14 is the average clothing size in America for women. I'm two sizes above that so I don't consider myself "fat".


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smudge
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16 Apr 2014, 4:54 am

Not to rain on your parade, but the average size doesn't necessarily equate to healthy.


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