Harmless Autism Jokes
lostonearth35
Veteran
Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,790
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
Black people call themselves "n****rs" all the time and they find no offense in doing that. I think as autistic people. Making jokes about are selves I would think would be less offensive then for an NT to crack an autistic joke.
That is correct. But you don't see white people calling blacks "n****r". (And if they do, blacks take it as a blank check to respond in any way they see fit, to teach white people a lesson)
And it's "n***a", not ",,n****r"
It is, more or less clear who is black, without a sign or disclosure. (Although some blacks are so pale they look white).
It is not obvious who is autistic
Not all autistics have been diagnosed
I can almost see why that is funny.
The man's a pocket calculator
Not really translatable to English since the literal translation of the German word for pocket calculator would be "bag calculator" (like the bag you see on the picture). So a Taschenrechner is a) a pocket calculator and b) a person that does calculations sitting in a bag.
(edit: at least it seems to me that bags like this would not be called pockets, would they?)
Thanks for the clarification
I laughed quite loud at this one.
Regarding Spiders. I have determined after a long and costly war in which the spiders has inflicted psychic damage on me and many spiders have lost their lives underneath my shoe to sign a peace treaty with them. The spiders can reside in the corners of my apartment as long as they eat any other bugs that find their way in.
_________________
"Ignorance may be bliss, but knowledge is power."
dragonsanddemons
Veteran
Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,659
Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan
I thought the spider thing was suggesting that the Aspie would be intrigued by the spider for a little while, but then get bored and squish it.
I'm an Aspie whose very first special interest was arthropods of all kinds. One of my earliest memories is when I was about three, holding a book in front of a spider and calling "Here, spider!" because I wanted to hold it but was a little afraid it would bite me if I used my bare hands. Now, I will give a spider an extra-close look if I can't easily identify it, and then will get a piece of paper to use to carry it outside, unless it's in the basement or somewhere unobtrusive, in which case I let it stay.
_________________
Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"
If there was a prize, I'd pick this one. I'll be keeping it in a text file.
He lowers himself over a field and calls to a guy "Can you tell me where I am and where I'm headed?"
"Sure. You're at 41 degrees 2 minutes and 14 seconds North, 144 degrees 4 minutes and 19 seconds East; you're at an altitude of 762 meters above sea level, and right now you're hovering, but you were on a vector of 234 degrees at 12 meters per second."
"Amazing! Thanks! By the way, do you have Asperger's Syndrome?"
"I do! How did you know that?"
"Because everything you said is true, it's much more detail than I need, and you told me in a way that's no use to me at all."
"Huh. Are you a clinical psychologist?"
"I am, but how the heck did you know that???! !??"
"You don't know where you are. You don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air. You put labels on people after asking a few questions, and you're in exactly the same spot you were 5 minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
Q: How many Wrong Planet moderators does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three; one to warn the old bulb about its dim behavior, a second to ban it and a third to reinstate it a week later under guidance it must shine brightly or face being permanently replaced.
Q: How many Wrong Planet members does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb should have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spelling checkers and grammar-nazis.
4 to complain that telling light bulb jokes still won't get them girlfriends.
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb", "light-bulb" or "light bulb".
6 more to condemn the previous 6 as anal-retentive.
1 industry professional to inform the group that the proper term is "Incandescent Lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
17 members to take personal offense at the industry professional's post and declare that they will call a light bulb whatever they *&^%$#@ well please.
156 to PM the WP Moderators with complaints that the thread is somehow offensive.
1 more to use the 'Report' button for the very same purpose.
109 to post that the GAD forum is not appropriate for light bulb threads and to please take this discussion to the "Computers, Math, Science, and Technology" forum.
203 to demand that duplicate threads in other forums be merged with this one.
111 to defend the posting to GAD saying that because we all use light bulbs for different reasons the posts *are* relevant to GAD.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty, and to post images of their favorite light bulbs.
51 to post various unrelated images with funny captions.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and the post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to GAD, which makes light bulbs relevant to GAD.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the general membership that they will no longer post on WP because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
44 to ask how to post links and images.
3 conspiracy theorists to point out that CFLs contain mercury, and posit an association between the use of CFLs and the incidence of autism.
175 posters of a scientific bent to point out that the conspiracy theorists are basing their claims on discredited research.
5 random supporters to claim that the conspiracy theorists are being suppressed.
7 to post about their personal problems, which have nothing whatsoever to do with light bulbs.
4 to say "Isn't there already a thread on this subject?".
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
3 members to hijack the thread completely, 2 of whom get banned for trolling, and 1 to be warned for using offensive language.
1 Religionist to point out that "It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness" and hijack the thread again to argue for the existence of God.
1 Moderator to lock the thread for having become both irrelevant and contentious.
< TWO YEARS PASS >
1 member to start a new "Light Bulb" thread.
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,245
Location: Long Island, New York
A: Three; one to warn the old bulb about its dim behavior, a second to ban it and a third to reinstate it a week later under guidance it must shine brightly or face being permanently replaced.
Q: How many Wrong Planet members does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb should have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spelling checkers and grammar-nazis.
4 to complain that telling light bulb jokes still won't get them girlfriends.
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb", "light-bulb" or "light bulb".
6 more to condemn the previous 6 as anal-retentive.
1 industry professional to inform the group that the proper term is "Incandescent Lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
17 members to take personal offense at the industry professional's post and declare that they will call a light bulb whatever they *&^%$#@ well please.
156 to PM the WP Moderators with complaints that the thread is somehow offensive.
1 more to use the 'Report' button for the very same purpose.
109 to post that the GAD forum is not appropriate for light bulb threads and to please take this discussion to the "Computers, Math, Science, and Technology" forum.
203 to demand that duplicate threads in other forums be merged with this one.
111 to defend the posting to GAD saying that because we all use light bulbs for different reasons the posts *are* relevant to GAD.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty, and to post images of their favorite light bulbs.
51 to post various unrelated images with funny captions.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and the post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to GAD, which makes light bulbs relevant to GAD.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the general membership that they will no longer post on WP because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
44 to ask how to post links and images.
3 conspiracy theorists to point out that CFLs contain mercury, and posit an association between the use of CFLs and the incidence of autism.
175 posters of a scientific bent to point out that the conspiracy theorists are basing their claims on discredited research.
5 random supporters to claim that the conspiracy theorists are being suppressed.
7 to post about their personal problems, which have nothing whatsoever to do with light bulbs.
4 to say "Isn't there already a thread on this subject?".
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
3 members to hijack the thread completely, 2 of whom get banned for trolling, and 1 to be warned for using offensive language.
1 Religionist to point out that "It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness" and hijack the thread again to argue for the existence of God.
1 Moderator to lock the thread for having become both irrelevant and contentious.
< TWO YEARS PASS >
1 member to start a new "Light Bulb" thread.
_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
lostonearth35
Veteran
Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,790
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
How many people on WP does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it will never be changed because they can't stop arguing about American politics, being pro-curbie, and more American politics. A growing number will post something racist, while another growing number will defend incel terrorism, but most will just whine and moan about not having a girlfriend. Women, minority figures, and members who live outside of the US will not bother to help them change the light bulb due to feeling threatened and hurt. By this time every light bulb in the house will have burned out but they won't notice or care until people stop having opinions of their own.
Not wanting to be the arbiter of political correctness on WP (but heck I have just awarded myself that title)
Laughing at ones own habits/behavior/impulses/compulsions is ok. Where I am from we call that self-deprecation which the English are famous for in comedy.
Laughing at jokes that make fun of other people's habits/behaviour/impulses/compulsions is ok if the group that are being made fun off are at top strata of our social hierarchy. Again in our traditions we are allowed to poke fun at the ruling class whether they be wealthy, celebrities, politicians or royalty etc etc...
However, laughing at jokes that make fun of (the above) is not ok if the group that are being made fun off are vulnerable members of society. For example laughing at an autistic person who has a compulsion to lick windows is not funny. It is cruel to both the person (particularly if it's a child) who perhaps can't help themselves and it's cruel to the parents and family of that person.
On a seperate note: the particular moment I lost respect for Donald Trump was when he ridiculed the disabled. For somebody who is the most powerful man on earth to think that disability is funny tells me he is not our friend.
Below you see my "IQ"
Last edited by B19 on 01 Dec 2019, 10:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.: offensive content
ASS-Savers
The Dutch word for Disorder is "Stoornis", so we dont use ASD but ASS
2 year ago i went to a bike-shop, and i saw some ASS-Savers. Do the ASS-savers working for my ASS i asked to the owner. He did answer with yes, but he didnt know what i was asking
The things in the shop are to protect your butt from mud and other dirt that the spining bikewheel creates.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
My lack of understanding jokes |
23 Mar 2024, 10:44 pm |
Autism |
31 Jan 2024, 12:58 am |
Autism |
13 Mar 2024, 7:44 am |
Autism and patronism |
19 Jan 2024, 9:00 pm |