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Being something you're not doesn't always work

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Apple_in_my_Eye
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22 Apr 2014, 3:18 am

LupaLuna wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I also tried to follow the Guidance Counsellor's advice to be big and tough in school and as I said, it was like an 18 year old kid who never played football in the NFL trash talking and arrogantly boasting about himself. It was some of the worst advice I was ever given and have the concussions to prove it.


That's the problem with those f***ing counselors. Their NT, we're aspies. They have no f***ing clue how are brains work and end up giving us just utterly useless advice.

I actually wonder if they even know how NTs work. I mean, that advice is kind of stupid even for an NT kid. Some shy boy isn't going to be able to successfully impersonate Hulk Hogan just by deciding to try to.



inachildsmind
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22 Apr 2014, 3:30 am

My therapist told me that its okay to accept what you cant do or cant be. I push myself so hard to feel like I fit in and it causes more stress that I do not really need and it causes meltdowns and issues with myself. Sometimes you just have to say, "It is okay that I am not like that" and just be yourself.



Amity
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22 Apr 2014, 7:11 am

I think pretending to be some one your not as a way of life is deceptive and damaging to yourself and others. It serves a purpose in self preservation situations (eg interviews, work places) I find it difficult to differentiate between rational and irrational threats to my self image, as such my reactions socially can be needlessly defensive.
If the typical world does not like who you are, it could be a signpost for personal growth, or wider intolerance. Gandhi's advice on thoughts words actions etc has helped me gain perspective with regard to this.



Acedia
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22 Apr 2014, 7:55 am

I've only found myself to be happy when I don't try to act differently.

Whether it works well for me in the future I don't know, but I have actually found that things have gone better for me when I act like myself. I just need to be more assertive. Not much, just a bit more.

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GiantHockeyFan
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22 Apr 2014, 7:58 am

Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
I actually wonder if they even know how NTs work. I mean, that advice is kind of stupid even for an NT kid. Some shy boy isn't going to be able to successfully impersonate Hulk Hogan just by deciding to try to.

Guess they figured I was so tall that I could successfully scare off bullies. Of course, the bullies could sense how phony I was and I didn't have a CLUE what I was doing since I am not violent or aggressive and made sure to make me pay since I was threatening the established order. If I kept my mouth shut I probably would have been just left alone.



dianthus
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22 Apr 2014, 7:13 pm

I don't even know how I would go about trying to be something I'm not. The only times I have done that was when dealing with really mean or rude people, I would try to imitate their behavior to throw it back at them and get them to stop. It just made things worse.