I feel as if I am not present in this world

Page 2 of 3 [ 34 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

omid
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 323

26 Mar 2014, 12:35 pm

beneficii wrote:
omid wrote:
I hope I'm not completely off-topic but it kinda made me think of This. does this somehow apply?


Of those listed, I feel I've been having this:

-Marked slowness of movements
-Bizarre gait
-Repetitive attempts to carry out an action
-Facial grimace
-Fixed expression
-Fixed empty smile
-Fixed gaze
-Mouth and tongue movements
-Head bent forward
-Arms bent at elbows and wrists
-Odd finger and hand postures
-Freezing in postures in the course of an activity
-Echolalia
-Jerky speech
-Lack of modulation of tone
-Lack of modulation of volume
-Stereotyped answers to questions
-Overeactivity
-Sudden bizarre acts


Are these stuff new? like since 6 months or something or have you always been like that? if they are new I dont't believe it's dissociation. it's probably something else. you should talk to a doctor. but go to a autism expert. chances to be labeled with some other crap are given if you go to a regulat psychiatrist.


_________________
Male
Aspie score: 131 of 200
NT score: 34 of 200
Possibly Aspie (diagnosed by an autism expert, doc moves abroad, forced to change docs and all say it's schizophrenia NOS or schizo-affective disorde or personality disorders. initial doc was a colleague of uncle Simon btw. you do the math.). (edit: by Uncle Simon I mean Simon Baron Cohen. Just to clear things up.)


DeadOperaStar
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 114

26 Mar 2014, 1:07 pm

i sincerely don't mean to hijack your post; this is more a tangenital musing. but, your post made me think that when i'm in the state you describe.. i have in recent years evolved the strategy of placing a substitute me into the world while i'm out, so to speak. of course, it requires a certain investment in the situation at hand (which is to say i must find the outcome intrinsically valuable or else i won't do it even when i should/need to), and that i'm not yet too far gone to do so.
do other people do this? do you find it helpful? or do you think it's just sort of a clumsy automatic self defense gesture, a response that comes more out of not having any other better response available?

also, i don't mean to contradict those above who have stated that this is a probable result of too little social contact, as i definitely see the truth in that in my own experience as well as my common sense. but i just want to posit from the other side, to put this out there... that overstimulation or "too much" social contact can do this to me as well as too little.



beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

26 Mar 2014, 2:22 pm

omid wrote:
beneficii wrote:
omid wrote:
I hope I'm not completely off-topic but it kinda made me think of This. does this somehow apply?


Of those listed, I feel I've been having this:

-Marked slowness of movements
-Bizarre gait
-Repetitive attempts to carry out an action
-Facial grimace
-Fixed expression
-Fixed empty smile
-Fixed gaze
-Mouth and tongue movements
-Head bent forward
-Arms bent at elbows and wrists
-Odd finger and hand postures
-Freezing in postures in the course of an activity
-Echolalia
-Jerky speech
-Lack of modulation of tone
-Lack of modulation of volume
-Stereotyped answers to questions
-Overeactivity
-Sudden bizarre acts


Are these stuff new? like since 6 months or something or have you always been like that? if they are new I dont't believe it's dissociation. it's probably something else. you should talk to a doctor. but go to a autism expert. chances to be labeled with some other crap are given if you go to a regulat psychiatrist.


Some of it is new like the flat affect, but this seems to have been developing over the past couple years.


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

26 Mar 2014, 7:24 pm

Well, I felt some emotion: Anger that my insurance administer lied about transition-related care being covered.


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

27 Mar 2014, 1:31 pm

Even though I am feeling de-motivated today and still kinda outta it, I'm gonna try going to work. If it doesn't work, then I have FMLA to fall back on, courtesy of my therapist.


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

27 Mar 2014, 2:03 pm

Well, I am here at work. :)


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

27 Mar 2014, 2:53 pm

Well, I'm here doing work, as full of fog as my head may be. It appears, however, that a co-worker is about to leave me some of her work.

I see my therapist again tomorrow.


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

27 Mar 2014, 5:07 pm

Well, I left after 3 hours. It was starting to crazy and my head was spinning. Inbound sales calls were queuing because a supervisor insisted on keeping his team in some meeting; I kept saying, we need to get these people back on the phones, but those calls were getting ignored. So one to the supervisor for several potential missed sales to our competitors. Then a co-worker, who so kindly agreed to stay, was handling queuing in other departments and we were having to make all sorts of changes to get help from other departments etc. I was going to take over by myself at 5 PM, but my head was already spinning. So I knew my co-worker could handle this better and I took leave of absence.


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.


qawer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,424

27 Mar 2014, 6:43 pm

NT people tend to thrive on almost any company they can get. Of course they have their preferences, but rather some company than no company at all, it seems.

That is often not the case for people with AS. They thrive on company with people they like, and feel worse having company by somebody they do not like. So good company is better than no company, but bad company is worse than no company.

At least, that is how I feel.



beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

27 Mar 2014, 10:32 pm

I wonder, as I take so much time off from work, am I just a lazy bum?


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

28 Mar 2014, 8:04 am

Well, 2 weeks in for the pre-authorization. Dr. Bowers's office says they will take 30 days total to even submit the paperwork to the insurance company--they say they have a backlog. This wait is what is partially driving me mad, so I will call today to ask for status update.


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

28 Mar 2014, 1:30 pm

Saw my therapist; he thinks I might need a medication change for signs of depression. He's sending a fax to my psychiatrist.


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.


Opi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2013
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 940
Location: East coast at the moment

28 Mar 2014, 1:45 pm

let us know how it goes. also if your symptoms get worse/continue but change. there are a few things that leap to mind to me but don't want to venture into guessing. dissociation was my first thought as already posted herein. however certainly not the only explanation. glad you have a professional involved, but please do keep us informed.


_________________
161 Aspie / 51 NT - Aspie Quiz (very likely an aspie)
36 - AS Quotient
115 aloof, 123 rigid, 89 prag - Aut/BAP
24 - HSP / ADD Quiz- 41, Inattention: 24, Hyperactive/Impulsive: 17
"Odd and different is beautiful" -- Tyra Banks


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

28 Mar 2014, 3:22 pm

Opi wrote:
let us know how it goes. also if your symptoms get worse/continue but change. there are a few things that leap to mind to me but don't want to venture into guessing. dissociation was my first thought as already posted herein. however certainly not the only explanation. glad you have a professional involved, but please do keep us informed.


Thanks. I've been having problems with motivation, affect, and anxiety. My therapist says my affect is a little better today, restricted instead of flat, however.


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,607

28 Mar 2014, 5:03 pm

I'm here at work, trucking it through, doing alright (things aren't crazy like they were yesterday).


_________________
I stand with our American citizens living abroad. We need to move to residence-based taxation.