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linatet
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28 Mar 2014, 6:46 am

I think my grandmother has some kind of personality disorder. I know all of those things because I live with her and know her well, other people just think she is smart and considerate. My mother said she was always like that.
She is a pathological liar, she lies all the time and makes up all kinds of stories even if she doesn't get any benefit from it.
She is very cold and doesn't show affection even for her children but tries to appear very considerate and cool to everyone. Wears lots of masks.
She is overly sensitive to criticism and insanely defensive when caught doing something wrong or lying, starts yelling at people and never ever admits any mistakes. One day she said everyone has defects and I asked her "so what is your defect?" and she answered "I have none". However I don't know if she thinks she is perfect or it she wants other people to think she is perfect.
She is overly worried about what everyone will think of her.
She is very charming and makes a group of friends, then starts little games and manipulate them. Then she gets tired of this group and disappears to them and go search other friends. No one understands why she does that. I asked her why she abandons her friends, she answered "I don't have any friends", I asked "don't you love them?" she seemed puzzled "I don't know what that is"
She doesn't trust anyone and when her sister for instance come visit her she hides her stuff because she thinks she would steal it.
She doesn't seem to be very empathic, actually I wonder if she has empathy at all. When her brother died and another time her childhood "best friend", she received the news by phone and didn't seem slightly distressed, first thing she said was "I have to clean the house in case someone visits me after the burial". I asked her about her reaction and she said "it's normal, people just die".
I don't know, what do you think?

funny thing is, she tells me all the stories about her games with her friends and she likes me a lot and says I am the grandchild (she has 15) that is alike her the most. I like her too but I really don't see any resemblance.



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28 Mar 2014, 7:16 am

Those two personality-disorders often coexist together, so there's a good chance she has one or both of them going by your description of her behavior.



BuyerBeware
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28 Mar 2014, 7:17 am

Watch that. She might be narcissistic...

...and then again she might be an Aspie who has learned very well-honed social skills (at least on the surface) and had the empathy beaten out of them in the process.

It isn't common-- the effort required to learn and cognitively, consciously execute skillful social behaviors on that level is a deterrent for the majority of us-- but it does happen.

As far as losing empathy goes, once you realize/decide that no one cares about you, no one ever will, and you're not very good at caring about people either, it isn't hard for empathy to just drain away. You don't have to be an Aspie for that to happen-- it happens to neurotypicals all the time.


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slave
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29 Mar 2014, 10:30 am

Psychopath with a narcissistic overlay.

PS all psychopaths are somewhat narcissistic.

I have decades of experience with these people.

Cut all contact. Any and all contact can have only one result~~~~~suffering and pain.

RUN.

any ?'s let me know


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linatet
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29 Mar 2014, 12:11 pm

slave wrote:
Psychopath with a narcissistic overlay.

PS all psychopaths are somewhat narcissistic.

I have decades of experience with these people.

Cut all contact. Any and all contact can have only one result~~~~~suffering and pain.

RUN.

any ?'s let me know

don't worry that's okay. She is my grandmother and she lives with me, and she does only inoffensive social games, nothing dangerous.



Erwin
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02 Apr 2014, 1:12 am

[quote="linatet"]I think my grandmother has some kind of personality disorder. I know all of those things because I live with her and know her well, other people just think she is smart and considerate. My mother said she was always like that.
She is a pathological liar, she lies all the time and makes up all kinds of stories even if she doesn't get any benefit from it.
She is very cold and doesn't show affection even for her children but tries to appear very considerate and cool to everyone. Wears lots of masks.
She is overly sensitive to criticism and insanely defensive when caught doing something wrong or lying, starts yelling at people and never ever admits any mistakes. One day she said everyone has defects and I asked her "so what is your defect?" and she answered "I have none". However I don't know if she thinks she is perfect or it she wants other people to think she is perfect.
She is overly worried about what everyone will think of her.
She is very charming and makes a group of friends, then starts little games and manipulate them. Then she gets tired of this group and disappears to them and go search other friends. No one understands why she does that. I asked her why she abandons her friends, she answered "I don't have any friends", I asked "don't you love them?" she seemed puzzled "I don't know what that is"
She doesn't trust anyone and when her sister for instance come visit her she hides her stuff because she thinks she would steal it.
She doesn't seem to be very empathic, actually I wonder if she has empathy at all. When her brother died and another time her childhood "best friend", she received the news by phone and didn't seem slightly distressed, first thing she said was "I have to clean the house in case someone visits me after the burial". I asked her about her reaction and she said "it's normal, people just die".
I don't know, what do you think?

funny thing is, she tells me all the stories about her games with her friends and she likes me a lot and says I am the grandchild (she has 15) that is alike her the most. I like her too but I really don't see any resemblance.[/quote
That's what old people are like. Even my million yo grandmother. And I mean literallly a million year old. I am also.