My husband is so angry all the time

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I bet he would be diagnosable with some kind of impulse control disorder. Not that he would seek it.
There's lots of stuff about that. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impulse_control_disorder

We have another current thread about Caetextia. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt255243.html --
That seems to be the extreme opposite of hubby's problem.

Part of it is about autistic people having a "barrier" between the left and right hemispheres. For me, I would say it's more a "bottle neck" rather than a "barrier." My emotions are there, but too slow and too easy to suppress. By the time I'm ready to respond to an emotional situation, the moment has passed and it would seem calculated and insincere. If this can be true for me, I can imagine your hubby having the opposite, whatever that might be called, or too little of a barrier to keep those impulses in check.

Now that I'm thinking along those lines, I wonder if it's even possible for an Aspie to have an impulse control disorder.

I know that real life is complicated and that it's not easy. Sorry about all the dumb questions on this thread, especially mine. I hope you don't take any of them too seriously. Still, I think it's good to get it out, to re-think and re-sort things.

Never mind. It seems that autistic children have lots of impulse control problems.
Here's an interesting one. http://www.wrongplanet.net/article282.html

Is it possible that hubby has no idea at all why he does what he does?
As as adult who is capable of rational thought, he probably makes up an answer for himself and believes it.

SecretSoul, with a formal diagnosis of OCD and Asperger’s Syndrome, and given how these things have affected your ability to work, I would have thought you stood a very good chance of qualifying for Social Security Disability (SSD). You will, however, need the assistance of a lawyer who specializes in those sorts of claims. If you can not afford to pay the lawyer, s/he will work out a payment system based upon what you receive from SSD if your application is successful. I do not know how this would affect your child custody case, but you can (discreetly) start investigating these things while you wait to regain custody.

As far as your husband goes, based upon what you have written, he sounds like a selfish jerk. I agree with others. If he is unwilling to change his behavior, especially once you have the children back, then it is time to end the relationship.

We're all selfish jerks in one way or another. It's a question of which flavor of selfish jerk. The idea of Asperger's gives me a different lense and allows me to understand and work on my deficits in a different, more productive way.

If SecretSoul and/or hubby could figure out what his deal is, things could change.
They got married for a reason. Maybe there's enough still there to make it work.