Page 1 of 3 [ 31 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next


Do you suffer from a tense (quite infuriating) jealousy?
Yes, only when it comes to my special interests. 10%  10%  [ 5 ]
Yes, only when it comes to my special interests AND relationships. 15%  15%  [ 7 ]
Yes, only relationships. 19%  19%  [ 9 ]
A little bit of all above. (the jealousy is hardly noticable then by a observer) 17%  17%  [ 8 ]
No 40%  40%  [ 19 ]
Total votes : 48

Quantum
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 30 Nov 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 199
Location: Sweden

15 Apr 2014, 5:23 pm

Hello everybody, I'm sorry for making another post regarding the same question but it's quite urgent right now. EVERYTIME someone mentions my special interest which is astronomy/theoretical astrophysics a part of me gets killed off (not literally, I mean that I'm almost going insane). And my way of coping with the problem is to actually live in my own world where everything revolves around me on a non narcisstic way, just so that I won't feel jealous of other people (probably because of that I wanna be the best at what I like)

So how do I cope with this in a natural way without going into my own world? I never seem to get problems when it comes to relationships, couldn't care less about that. Please give me some advice even if it is unconventional, I accept any form of assistance.

Also, how do you react when you're in a similar position? Example, when someone a lot younger than you expresses knowledge in a topic of your special interest, do you suddenly lose it by going mad or what? My emotions pretty much gets diminished besides the disapointment & jealousy then.

With kind regards, Quantum.

Have a nice day.



yournamehere
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,673
Location: Roaming 150 square miles somewhere in north america

15 Apr 2014, 6:47 pm

Jealousy is beneath me. Just like the last part of the word says. It's lousy. When someone talks about my special interests, I usually take a step back, listen, and take in as much as I can. There may be something there I missed, can learn, or do not know about. Sometimes when they are wrong, I do not correct them either. I just let them believe whatever they want. However, when I think it is my turn to talk, I try way too hard to get my point across.



Dan_Undiagnosed
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 616

15 Apr 2014, 7:26 pm

I voted no because while I can get a bit peeved when one of my special interests becomes well known it doesn't bother me too much. Yournamehere summed it up pretty well. I normally have little interest in joining a conversation so it's nice when someone starts talking about something that actually interests me. But even then I'll often do what yournamehere suggests almost to the letter. If this is something that you feel is really affecting your life negatively you could always seek counselling about it. Other than that, try to find some joy in other people loving what you love. That means they must be pretty cool by your standard of measure, right?



KingdomOfRats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,313
Location: f'ton,manchester UK

15 Apr 2014, 7:34 pm

we are on different halves of the spectrum but have never in thirty years experienced jealousy towards anyone or anything,am pleased for anyone who gets things am not able to get or who know things am not able to learn.
do not understand why humans feel jealous towards others either. :?


_________________
>severely autistic.
>>the residential autist; http://theresidentialautist.blogspot.co.uk
blogging from the view of an ex institutionalised autism/ID activist now in community care.
>>>help to keep bullying off our community,report it!


Lumi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,519
Location: Profound feel

15 Apr 2014, 8:24 pm

KingdomOfRats wrote:
we are on different halves of the spectrum but have never in thirty years experienced jealousy towards anyone or anything,am pleased for anyone who gets things am not able to get or who know things am not able to learn.
do not understand why humans feel jealous towards others either. :?


Jealous? I don't know or understand most of being that too.


_________________
God-dependent, analytical, happy and self-learning Japanese


yournamehere
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,673
Location: Roaming 150 square miles somewhere in north america

15 Apr 2014, 9:14 pm

One thing is for sure. Being a man. When a women likes you , tries to make you jealous, and it doesn't work. Game over. :P



KB8CWB
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2014
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 637
Location: West Salem, Ohio

15 Apr 2014, 9:24 pm

Jealousy is illogical, never could feel that or understand that. If another is happy due to situational, material, or relationship I am just happy for them. Why be jealous of someone's good fortune? :?:



FireyInspiration
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2014
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 540
Location: Unknown

15 Apr 2014, 9:27 pm

Special interests? Never jealous. Actually, its quite the opposite, whenever someone is discussing a special interest of mine, if I'm comfortable enough with the specific situation, I will often join the discussion. Socially though, I can get a bit more jealous than I would like to admit.



MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,877

15 Apr 2014, 9:32 pm

FireyInspiration wrote:
Special interests? Never jealous. Actually, its quite the opposite, whenever someone is discussing a special interest of mine, if I'm comfortable enough with the specific situation, I will often join the discussion. Socially though, I can get a bit more jealous than I would like to admit.


Same here.



Skilpadde
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,624
Location: Alola

15 Apr 2014, 9:59 pm

I can relate to that, Quantum. As a child I was interested in (but not a special interest and not obsessed with) astronomy. In junior high a classmate knew more about it than me, and that made me lose interest in it.

For the last 22 years or so, turtles have been my special interest. I have never met anyone IRL who loves turtles, so IDK how I'd react if I did, but online I follow turtle sites and it doesn't make me feel anything negative (other than when it comes to how bad the situation is for the endangered ones and how people's dumbness hurt turtles, but that's different). So maybe that wouldn't be the same IRL either, but I can't say. I might just resent them a bit for doing what I can't do and likely never will get the opportunity to do.
I love what they're doing for the turtles, so I hope I wouldn't.


I can definitely be jealous of people, and not restricted to relationships.


_________________
"And the turtles, of course...all the turtles are free, as turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be." -Dr. Seuss

http://turtleforum.freeforums.org/index.php

Wolves - second only to turtles <3


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 15,868
Location: Essex, UK

16 Apr 2014, 12:08 pm

Jealousy is common in most humans, and I'm no exception to it. But I don't get jealous of how much money other people have or if they have nice homes or how pretty they are, etc. I get jealous of other people having social and romantic relationships. I think it's due to loneliness and fear of being left behind. It all started when I was about 12, when my cousin (who was the same age as me and was very close to me) started spending week-ends with her best friend and not inviting me out with them, and if they did invite me she wasn't the same. I used to get so upset and wished the girls in my class would invite me round their's at week-ends. I just felt so lonely and left out. And from then on, I have always been jealous when other people get flirted with, and I've always compared myself to other people socially. Maybe it's because my Asperger's and the issues it causes just gets to me and I am afraid of being different from others.

But since I have gone on anti-depressants, I haven't felt as jealous of other people. I do a little because I think it's just part of me, but it's not so strong. So maybe my jealous feelings was more to do with depression and letting things get to me.


_________________
Straight Female
From East UK (Essex)
Aged 29

On antidepressants (50mg Sertraline) ~ Helps control emotional outbursts but not general anxiety.


Stannis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jan 2014
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,631

16 Apr 2014, 12:45 pm

I do not feel jealousy generally. I do get annoyed when people assume that I am jealous of them when they get an expensive car or something, though, because that kind of thinking makes us adversaries.



Last edited by Stannis on 17 Apr 2014, 9:39 am, edited 5 times in total.

skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,809
Location: my own little world

16 Apr 2014, 12:57 pm

Quantum, I can absolutely relate to you. I don't know if what I feel is jealousy though. I think it's more ego driven anger. When someone talks to me about skiing or swimming or even singing and they obviously have no idea what they are talking about and they keep insisting that they are right, I get inflamed and angry. I feel this huge welling up like a fire in my chest and I just want to scream. I have found that the best strategy for this is to literally protect my special interests. I don't talk about them with anyone unless they are worthy. What I mean, is if you are just casually mentioning skiing to me like some of you do here I really enjoy that. I know that some of you don't know the first thing about skiing and others are much better skiers than I am. I am happy to engage in a ski conversation with any of you at any level. Some of you might teach me a great deal about it and others of you might be learning some of the most elementary basic concepts but either way, I am happy to talk to you because the conversation is real. If someone who has skied once a year a couple of times insists that he knows how to buy a ski boot when it is obvious that he has no idea how to do it and if he insists on challenging me on what I know is true about the facts of fitting and buying ski boots, I will not tolerate having a conversation about ski boots with this person. I will refuse to talk to this person about the subject. This is the only way I have found to keep the rage under control. I hope this helps.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


Quantum
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 30 Nov 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 199
Location: Sweden

16 Apr 2014, 2:49 pm

skibum wrote:
Quantum, I can absolutely relate to you. I don't know if what I feel is jealousy though. I think it's more ego driven anger. When someone talks to me about skiing or swimming or even singing and they obviously have no idea what they are talking about and they keep insisting that they are right, I get inflamed and angry. I feel this huge welling up like a fire in my chest and I just want to scream. I have found that the best strategy for this is to literally protect my special interests. I don't talk about them with anyone unless they are worthy. What I mean, is if you are just casually mentioning skiing to me like some of you do here I really enjoy that. I know that some of you don't know the first thing about skiing and others are much better skiers than I am. I am happy to engage in a ski conversation with any of you at any level. Some of you might teach me a great deal about it and others of you might be learning some of the most elementary basic concepts but either way, I am happy to talk to you because the conversation is real. If someone who has skied once a year a couple of times insists that he knows how to buy a ski boot when it is obvious that he has no idea how to do it and if he insists on challenging me on what I know is true about the facts of fitting and buying ski boots, I will not tolerate having a conversation about ski boots with this person. I will refuse to talk to this person about the subject. This is the only way I have found to keep the rage under control. I hope this helps.


That is exactly how I feel, I just want to protect my special interests otherwise I do get very jealous/angry/(whatever negative emotion there is). Seems pretty unavoidable, I will most likely study astronomy in a college and that will probably lead to my death because of this :P



skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,809
Location: my own little world

16 Apr 2014, 3:00 pm

Well I know next to nothing about Astronomy so I promise you that any conversations that you might have about it with me will be you teaching me and me glad to learn from you! But definitely protect your interests. Only talk about the to the people that you want to talk about them with. You can control who that is and if people are idiots just let them know that you will not discuss the subject with them. I have literally told some people, "I will never ski with you and I will never talk to you about skiing so do not bring it up again." And if they try to insist on bringing it up I just walk away.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


Last edited by skibum on 16 Apr 2014, 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.