Any other poly folk?

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Is anyone else on here polyamorous? How does being non-NT affect that experience?

For me, I think it's a lot easier to be poly and non-NT. I recognize that I'm a generally draining individual to be around at times, and having multiple relationships means, to me, that one partner isn't going to get overburdened.

At the same time, the problems I have in one relationship (no social imagination, yay) gets compounded when more than one relationship is involved. I can get really easily confused as to which person I've had a conversation with. "You told me that already" is a common thread in our house, along with "when were you planning on telling me that?" I'm not purposefully trying to be annoying or secretive, I just lose the plot quite a bit. Thankfully my partners are understanding of my spotty memory and generally poor social skills.

I'm not sure it's any easier. Depends entirely on the people involved.

Being polyamorous and then getting involved with someone who isn't used to being so, or is more acutely monogamous seems like a nightmare to me.

Been there several times, it's pretty awful for everyone involved.

How on earth do you find the time and energy? And interest?

The interest happens as most romantic interests do: by chance. I don't really go seeking people out, but I do embrace them when we happen to find each other.

Time... eh, I've always been a meticulous planner. It's just a matter of using your time wisely and fairly (as much as is possible). There is a joke in many poly circles about the exploding day planner, though

Energy is the hardest bit. Though I like being around people, I have some physical disabilities that cause fatigue. It's about finding quiet activities to do that don't make me more tired and/or overstimulated.

I'm poly because I don't see why loving one person means you can't love anyone else. I've only been in one short poly relationship and I'm not going to be dating any time soon, but I do think monogamy is a little creepy because to me it seems to imply ownership and encourage jealousy--one of the most terrifying aspects of relationships. I understand that not everyone wants to be poly, though, and I agree; everyone involved has to be willing.

Poly, but single right now.

I don't see the sense in marriage, and I hate the "primary, secondary" mindset that a lot of poly people follow. I practice poly because it makes sense, the same reason that I subscribe to any philosophy. I don't claim that my actions always make sense, mind you.

Wannabee!! !! !! !! !!

Last edited by RightGalaxy on 24 Apr 2014, 8:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

Galexty said: For me, I think it's a lot easier to be poly and non-NT. I recognize that I'm a generally draining individual to be around at times, and having multiple relationships means, to me, that one partner isn't going to get overburdened.

Truth has it as so: No, they're all going to get overburdened eventually. Your partners (if any of them are real people) are playing the numbers game with you. You can't be poly unless you keep those numbers at greater than zero or one. They will always have at least one more slot for an occasional drag or they wouldn't be poly, would they? Where ever you go and whatever you do, you're still you. You're being taken advantage of. It will continue until you are replaced. Poly want a cracker?

^ I read your other post before you edited it, so I already realize that you have nothing to add to the thread except ignorant disapproval and prudish prejudice, RightGalaxy.

I post this not out of any belief that you will care about reason, but solely as a warning to others who might foolishly lend any credibility to the inanities that you like to spew.

Im open to poly ifneedbe.

If I'm in a relationship where I have enough interest in the other person to be having sex with them, I completely lose interest in all other men. It's like every other man on the planet is gender-neutral when I'm in a relationship.

Needless to say, that tends to make me want that same kind of reciprocation from my partner. Or at least the pretense thereof.

In theory, however, I agree with the idea of polyamory; I just seem to be unable to practice it.

It's amazing how you think you know what's going on in my life.

And you seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding about what polyamory is or how it works. I'm not being taken advantage of, this is a decision that has been repeatedly been made and discussed.

Im very hyperactive and hypersexual sometimes i think it takes more than one woman to calm me down maybe my energy needs draining to stablize me at times!

I have minimal experience, but like diniesaur I find the sort of control/ownership implied in most monogamous arrangements rather creepy. I can respect other's choices, but I could never demand that of someone, nor could I accept someone making it of me.

My only dating experience has been non exclusive, though also not physically intimate, and I enjoyed hearing about her other dates and seeing her excited about someone new.

I also have several close online friends with whom the line between friend and lover blur a bit and would never give them up to satisfy someone's need for exclusivity.

Also being pansexual and genderfluid, and having a high sex drive, I really wouldn't be satisfied with one partner long term, and am unwilling to lie to someone about that just to be accepted.

At this point, I couldn't be in anything but a poly relationship without making myself miserable. Yes that makes my attempts at dating harder by limiting the pool, but It is what fits me.

^ You forgot to mention honesty. For someone who feels like you (and I) do, honesty makes having a conventional relationship really difficult.

To make myself clear, I don't envy people who don't want monogamy but pretend to in order to have the kind of lie that they want. Oops, I meant to type life there, but it still works.