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melin
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22 Feb 2007, 6:42 pm

We have tried diffrent types of toothpates kids falvors and adult pastes and gels. I decided several years ago I was not going to fight this battle anymore over food choices, and it helped alot now I just cook whatever for dinner he has an option to join us or he can choose an alternative he wants to make himself. Aside from not being able to spread peanut butter or cut with a knife he is independant in that respect.

Do these children grow out of this as adults? I was told that between the ages of 9-12 he might but I dont see much waivering on his part. His symptoms have been consistant over the years.

I recieved alot of good recomendations from a nuropsych on things my son needed but when I went to the school district for help. I was told my son does not meet the requirements. I also tried several other agencies to help pay for occupational therapy and some social skills classes for my child that too was denied. I applied for Social Security no suprise there either it was denied as well.

I feel such panic and desperation to get my son on the right track before the window of oppurtunity closes for him. I am afraid that if we cant help him prepare now hes not going to intrigrate in to the adult world with the ease he could if we got him the help now, but what I am hearing from the schools and such is that they wont help until he is in trouble already.

Any thoughts??



BeautyWithin
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22 Feb 2007, 9:09 pm

I wish I knew how to help you. Don't give up hope!
Even if you don't have the resources to pay for occupational therapy you can do your own research and be your child's best advocate.
There are tonnes and tonnes of books out there that can help you to find out what to do and how to do it.



MsTriste
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23 Feb 2007, 1:47 am

melin wrote:

Do these children grow out of this as adults? I was told that between the ages of 9-12 he might but I dont see much waivering on his part. His symptoms have been consistant over the years.



Maybe yes, maybe no. So what if they don't have the USDA approved diet? At least your kids are getting calories and clean water, which is more than a lot of people in this world get. I have to agree with en una isla - why get your kid do something they have an aversion to? Saying it's because you're worried about their future is the wrong answer. Allowing their nervous systems to have calm is better for them. As someone with an ASD, I cringe to think about being put on a program of learning to accept sensations to which I have an aversion. Do you like the sound/feel of fingernails on a chalkboard? No? Then don't make your child touch something that makes him scream (your word).

BTW, my aspie sister only ate about 5 things till she became a teenager, then she became a vegetarian (this was after straining the herbs out of the jarred spaghetti sauce) and is now into a healthful, vegetarian diet as an adult.

Also BTW, I am an adult aspie with hypersensitivities to all sense except taste - lucky for me. None of my hypersensitivities have gotten better over the years. We're all different.



BeautyWithin
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23 Feb 2007, 12:09 pm

I'm sorry- I thought we all wanted our kids to have a certain degree of independence.
Imagine going through life where you hate snot so much that it grosses you out but you can't wipe your own nose because you can't stand the texture of it even when you're using several tissues.
Or you so desperately want to eat a potato chip but you won't touch it because it may have a trace of salt or dust on it.
Or you can't go anywhere because you hate the way sand or snow feels under your feet?
Sorry- those things are pretty important and will affect him... and it makes me worry about my son's future.

It may seem petty to you Aylissa because you don't have the same problems- but it does affect the quality of my son's life. You and your sister have different problems and you have learnt how to deal with them.



ster
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23 Feb 2007, 1:16 pm

the tactile defensive thing can be hard to get past...i have some students who've come a long way~they'll eat a larger variety of foods ( textures) than when they were little, and i've even gotten one student to paint without his plastic gloves !
i've never forced the issue, though... and i've not made them feel bad if they can't seem to do what i want them to ( i'm not saying that anyone else here would do that, but you just never know). people are only capable of making great changes in their lives when they are ready to do so~this is true for * everyone*....i think it's very easy to sometimes forget that our aspies are , in some ways, not all that different from us.



BeautyWithin
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23 Feb 2007, 1:33 pm

Thank you ster!



BazzaMcKenzie
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24 Feb 2007, 12:44 am

let us know how it goes making cookies


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MsTriste
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24 Feb 2007, 6:13 pm

BeautyWithin wrote:
I'm sorry- I thought we all wanted our kids to have a certain degree of independence.
Imagine going through life where you hate snot so much that it grosses you out but you can't wipe your own nose because you can't stand the texture of it even when you're using several tissues.
Or you so desperately want to eat a potato chip but you won't touch it because it may have a trace of salt or dust on it.
Or you can't go anywhere because you hate the way sand or snow feels under your feet?
Sorry- those things are pretty important and will affect him... and it makes me worry about my son's future.

It may seem petty to you Aylissa because you don't have the same problems- but it does affect the quality of my son's life. You and your sister have different problems and you have learnt how to deal with them.


One of my points is that you might want to consider life from a point of view different than your own. You can't imagine what it's like, and one of the reasons for this forum is for you to learn. Rather than learning from other NT moms, you might consider learning from other ASD adults. We are much better sources of information.

Independence? Bah.



BeautyWithin
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24 Feb 2007, 8:21 pm

Hello... what am I... chopped liver?
I have problems with textures myself. Even my psychiatrist thinks I have aspergers but I have refused to do a formal evaluation because it wouldn't change anything for me. I'll still be on the same meds and going about my life the same way. My sis is also undiagnosed. My Dad had many asperger traits and my Mom has OCD.
It's not that I'm coming to this with no information at all.

I came here to ask other PARENTS who have the best wishes at heart for their children for advice on what to do.



BeautyWithin
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24 Feb 2007, 8:23 pm

BazzaMcKenzie wrote:
let us know how it goes making cookies


We are planning on trying the cookies tomorrow. We have him all excited about making home-made cookies. I'll let you know how it goes. :)



makelifehappen
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24 Feb 2007, 8:37 pm

I am with you beautywithin.

Quite different to be sat in a parents shoes, I would imagine. Sitting back, watching our children suffer & struggle through life, not giving it our all... Is not the role of any parent, in my opinion. Man, as if we haven't felt that we have failed these children enough.

How many times have you all looked into the eyes of your little one and wondered how *YOU* as parents could have done things differently to support them and felt like you just haven't done enough?

I, for one, am living proof of this.

However, at the same time, I also realise that it is all about the way that my daughter's brain has been wired and we wake up each day to fight the fight. I am not prepared to feed into the vicious circle that avoidance delivers. If there is a way that I can help my daughter to overcome these obstacles and learn to jump some of these hurdles rather than accept them as oddities that she cannot do anything about, I will make ever effort to do so. Avoidance get us no where.

The real world is not going to accomodate my daughter's sensory issues, so how could I, as a parent, throw her out to the lions, without a weapon other than her own two feet?

As much as we accept and love my daughter for who she is, she needs to know that she has had the love, support & opportunity to attempt these difficulties, before just accepting that there is nothing more that she can do about these things that are SO much a part of her. Just because it is how she feels, doesn't mean that she has to like it, either. My daughter hates that she can't go out to her favourite restaurant and eat foods freely or walk from the washroom to the kitchen without covering her face with her sleeve, while gagging, in the middle of a crowded place or having meltdowns in the middle of the street because she cannot stand the little threads on the inside of her clothing that are driving her off the deep end or concentrating in the classroom while another student is quietly tapping their fingers off their pencil....WHO WOULD OPT TO LIVE LIKE THAT IF THERE WERE A WAY TO CHALLENGE IT AND BUILD TOLERANCE?

Let me ask those of you that disagree with what us parents are doing, by helping to pave the way to a more tolerable way of living...Do *YOU* enjoy living like this?

As for not listening and learning from other NT's....*shakes head*, I do believe that this is a parent discussion forum. I have absolutely no reason not to listen to & learn from other aspie's, except for when I hear/read people discouraging the most appropriate forms of treatment/therapy known for Asperger's.

How many of you have opted out on seeing an occupational therapist, speech pathologist, social worker, psychiatrist, pediatrician, etc, just because they did not have Aspergers?

We all suffer with the affects of Asperger's, whether you have been born with it or tainted by it ( in one way or another), we shall all learn together.


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BeautyWithin
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25 Feb 2007, 11:14 pm

Thank you for putting that so eloquently makelifehappen. :)
I for one wish that my parents had helped me with my texture issues but they understood much less than we do now. We were just considered eccentric and they just left it at that. To this day I cannot bear the thought of touching uncooked meat.

Anyway... today could be considered a success.
Baby J. played with some of the dough while it was inside a plastic bag. He wouldn't touch any of it that wasn't in the bag though. It's a start and hopefully next time we'll get further.



itsangel
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25 Feb 2007, 11:47 pm

my daughter will only wear some texture i picked out some soft trousers but she said they would itch
It has to be 100% cotton

so i baught her 5 pairs of the same ones she likes lol
problem solved



melin
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26 Feb 2007, 11:23 am

Kate it sounds like yours sons texture issues are similar to my sons. My son is now 8 but he suffered from ear infections from the time he turned 1 until the age of 4 after they put permanent tubes in his ears because repeated attempts at temporary ones failed.

My son will only eat straight frys and they have to be a certain crispyness. Also He hates the ends he will only eat the middles. He will eat chocolate and chips too but the same types of things he finds a food he likes wants it all the time and then I think he gets so sick of it he wont ever eat it agian. We have experianced this with several foods in his lifetime. Being that my son was very underweight we started him on pediasure to help maintain his weight because he would not take a multi vitiman and obviously his diet was poor. Long story short he did well with the pediasure. He liked the taste and it did infact make a diffrence in the way he felt and looked after a period of time on it.

Dont battle food with your child. I did for the first 3 years and I regret it so. I probably did more harm that good trying to convince my child to eat. Of corse we did not know then our son had aspergers but in general we have to let our kids make some choices for themselves.



Mom2D
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26 Feb 2007, 4:49 pm

Hi Melin. I think you were replying to my Food Phobia Thread which is similar to this one? My son does get a lot of ear infections but this last time was the worst. I try not to battle with D's food but 4 weeks without any food besides chocolate for anyone is a long time. I don't know how long does it take for organs etc to start being seriously affected.


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melin
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27 Feb 2007, 12:52 am

Kate I dont know about the real affects of a poor diet other than. My son is hungry all the time because he does not get a balanced diet. He can be crabby at times because of problems in diet not to mention the obvious with these kids constipation.

As a toddler he looked very under nourished and it bothered me a great deal however my worries have grown so much more now diet is the last problem I have to consider at this point.
I dont know how all you (I am speaking to the parents) do this. I just today left the dr because I have been sick over the last couple of months off and on with what I though was stomach bug and come to find out now I have ulcers most likely from stress says the dr. I wanted to say help my son thats whats gonna make them go away.

I try and push the healthy choices first and I keep pleanty of them around so not to encourage unhealthy choices. My son pretty much grazes thoughout the day but like I said earlier I decided years ago that this was a battle I was going to loose so why fight it. When hes ready to try new things he will and I have discovered that sometimes the less we make of things the easier it is for him to come to terms with it. After all some of us have children thats IQ far outsmarts mine.