Does anyone else find it hard to try new things?

Page 1 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

i_wanna_blue
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,113

28 Apr 2014, 11:10 am

I've always been someone who, in terms of activities, rarely tries something that I don't feel comfortable in.

Recently someone invited me to join him playing online card games, and I said ok, but I did so since I didn't want to seem rude by saying no.

To be honest i only play one video game, and I very rarely try anything different. The same goes for my interests in most entertainment (tv, sports, games etc)

I rather watch a show I like, over and over again, than of try to watch something different.

For some reason straying off the beaten path makes me feel uncomfortable, and it just doesn't feel "right".

can anyone relate?



Norny
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,488

28 Apr 2014, 11:41 am

A preference for sameness was a lot, lot stronger in me when I was younger. I have since changed my thinking behaviours quite drastically, and convinced myself that I 'experience more of life' by trying many things.

However I remain similar to a degree. A difference to you is that I want to try a lot of new things (food for example) but can't bring myself to do it when the time comes; I'll be thinking 'oh yes, this time I'll definitely try some [fancy foreign food]' but I'll always pick something I always eat, such as fish and chips or a soup.


_________________
Unapologetically, Norny. :rambo:
-chronically drunk


IrishJew
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2013
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 82

28 Apr 2014, 11:44 am

Only if I have some initial interest in it in the first place. But in that sense, I guess it wouldn't be "new", exactly.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

28 Apr 2014, 12:12 pm

I am like that on a lot of things. I think I am more open-minded socially, but with activities and things like that I prefer to stick to what I know and just find it difficult to start something new. Even with discussion sites like this one. I get fed up and irritated with WP a lot of the time because of all the contradictory that goes on, and I find a lot of other things irksome here like threads asking about physical features in Autistics (which also becomes contradicting too), but I still don't want to quit and change to another Autism discussion site because I have been here a while now and have made a lot of posts and got used to the site and I don't like to change. Anyway, the same sort of crap probably goes on on other discussion sites too. It's only natural that it will on any discussion site, because there's so many different people with different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs, and all are trying to express their own opinions and ideas. Anyway, I went on enough there.

It was also hard for me to change voluntary jobs. When I got unhappy at my first volunteer job, I found it so hard to change to a different voluntary job, and so I left that one and ended up not doing any voluntary work (I do have a part-time paid job but voluntary work is fun and good for improving social skills and meeting new people). I tend to become nostalgic with things, and don't like to change. There are some things in my life now that I could go on forever doing, but sometimes change is beyond your control and it is something we all have to face, unfortunately.

The only thing I HAVEN'T become nostalgic with is with the Simpsons and South Park. I prefer the episodes from 2000 onwards, rather than the ones from the 90's. I don't know if that has got anything to do with this thread but just thought I'd point that out.


_________________
Female


KingdomOfRats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,833
Location: f'ton,manchester UK

28 Apr 2014, 2:24 pm

am able to relate but to a more extreme level,am prescribed PRN benzodiazpenes and halperidol for when changes happen because of the effect they have on self.
predictibility and routine is safe and comforting.


_________________
>severely autistic.
>>the residential autist; http://theresidentialautist.blogspot.co.uk
blogging from the view of an ex institutionalised autism/ID activist now in community care.
>>>help to keep bullying off our community,report it!


Kiriae
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2014
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,349
Location: Kraków, Poland

28 Apr 2014, 2:35 pm

I am the same.

And for me it seem to be because I give the whole myself to anything I do. I don't want to start anything new because if I started a lot of new things I wouldn't have time and energy to give enough effort to all the stuff and if I don't give enough effort to anything it is not even worth a bother. And on the other hand I can't just start a new thing because how can I decide the thing is the one I want to put all the effort in? How do I know if I shouldn't choose something else instead? No,thank you. I will better stay with what I know.

Does it make any sense? :lol:



AdamAutistic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,476
Location: Rhode Island

28 Apr 2014, 7:39 pm

yes, i hate trying new things. i like routine.


_________________
Living Nintendo Database.
Mute Ameslan Signer.


Spectre
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2014
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 38

28 Apr 2014, 8:04 pm

I don't like change. In general, I'm not very willing to try new things. Not unless it is my idea and very rarely is it my idea to try something new.



B19
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jan 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,993
Location: New Zealand

28 Apr 2014, 8:18 pm

I find change challenging, because sameness = safety, predictability, sameness is also an avoidance strategy to prevent overload/shut down.

However I dedicated this new year to branching out and moving through my fears about doing some new things. Intellectually, I know "the only way out is through". I was ready to face the challenge as life had become very predictable and boring.

Joined a social anxiety group; volunteered as a one-to-one peer supporter for women leaving abusive relationships; made some new friends and go out with them once a fortnight.

My need for change finally became greater than my need for predictability, and my social isolation had reached a point where life didn't feel worth living. Though it was very scary making the transition, four months on it is having some significant benefits for me.



Suhtek
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 43

28 Apr 2014, 8:27 pm

I'm glad someone posted about this.

I am trying to get out of routine and become more flexible.



GreyMatter
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 13 Dec 2013
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 67

28 Apr 2014, 8:30 pm

I enjoy trying new things... if I get advance notice. I always get frustrated with myself when I turn down an invitation to do something because it came out of the blue. I'm just not good with spontaneity like that. For example, a couple of weeks ago a person who I have only met together with a mutual friend texted and asked if I would be up for going swimming together (I had mentioned that I enjoyed swimming). I thought that sounded good, but when he suggested we meet there in a couple of hours I had to bail. I mean, I enjoy swimming, but when I woke up that morning I hadn't planned to go to the pool, and I just can't deal with such unexpected events. Ugh. I hate that I am like this.



MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,714

28 Apr 2014, 8:38 pm

GreyMatter wrote:
I enjoy trying new things... if I get advance notice. I always get frustrated with myself when I turn down an invitation to do something because it came out of the blue. I'm just not good with spontaneity like that. For example, a couple of weeks ago a person who I have only met together with a mutual friend texted and asked if I would be up for going swimming together (I had mentioned that I enjoyed swimming). I thought that sounded good, but when he suggested we meet there in a couple of hours I had to bail. I mean, I enjoy swimming, but when I woke up that morning I hadn't planned to go to the pool, and I just can't deal with such unexpected events. Ugh. I hate that I am like this.


Same here. I find as I get older, I don't like solo activities as much as I used to. I get overwhelmed, and turned around in unfamiliar places so I avoid it more unless someone's with me.



GreyMatter
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 13 Dec 2013
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 67

28 Apr 2014, 8:52 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
GreyMatter wrote:
I enjoy trying new things... if I get advance notice. I always get frustrated with myself when I turn down an invitation to do something because it came out of the blue. I'm just not good with spontaneity like that. For example, a couple of weeks ago a person who I have only met together with a mutual friend texted and asked if I would be up for going swimming together (I had mentioned that I enjoyed swimming). I thought that sounded good, but when he suggested we meet there in a couple of hours I had to bail. I mean, I enjoy swimming, but when I woke up that morning I hadn't planned to go to the pool, and I just can't deal with such unexpected events. Ugh. I hate that I am like this.


Same here. I find as I get older, I don't like solo activities as much as I used to. I get overwhelmed, and turned around in unfamiliar places so I avoid it more unless someone's with me.


Me too, sadly... While I do feel more comfortable about myself now compared to my early 20s, I was a lot more assertive back then. I got overwhelmed then as well, but I persisted just to prove to myself that I could. These days I do not have the energy for it, and I have also realised that I do not really enjoy typical 'events' or activities as much as I would like to. I get more out of walking around the botanical gardens or some dusty ethnographic museum, than going to festivals, sporting events, anything that involves the beach, skiing, and other things that people do for fun.

But to the point of this thread, the only time I am even the least bit spontaneous is when I am tipsy, which, ironically, I never get unless someone manages to invite me to the pub with advance notice. :roll:



dianthus
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,138

28 Apr 2014, 9:00 pm

I don't find it hard to try new things, I just find it hard to actually like them or stick with them...I just end up going back to my same old routine...uh, actually yeah I guess I do find it hard to try new things.



LtlPinkCoupe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,044
Location: In my room, where it's safe

28 Apr 2014, 9:09 pm

I didn't like trying new things AT ALL when I was a little kid, but I got better at it as I got older...mostly because I quickly realized what I was missing by NOT trying anything new. :)


_________________
I wish Sterling Holloway narrated my life.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" "Life isn't fair, Calvin." "I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in MY favor?" ~ from Calvin and Hobbes


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,295
Location: my own little world

28 Apr 2014, 9:14 pm

Sometimes it's hard for me to try new things. I tried rice pudding for the first time last week. I had always heard of it and people have been trying to get me to try it all my life but I was always afraid to. I finally got the courage to try a tiny bit. It was okay. I liked it well enough but I did not think it was that great. I seem to have trouble trying small things like that. It is easier for me to try a big thing like a new sport but trying a small thing like pudding or trying to do something in an order that I am not used to, those kinds of things can be much harder for me. Sometimes I find it impossible to try something new, even a small thing and it can really stress me out. And I always have to wait until I am good and ready to try something new. If my brain is not ready I will not be able to try it but once that magic click happen and it could take decades to get there, then it changes everything and then I just go for it.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph