So I texted someone I'd been crushing on

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I asked him if he wanted to hang out sometime, and this was his reply.

"I'd like to, but I've been seeing someone lately, so it's probably not the best idea."

I think that's BS because his dating site account is still active and he's on it everyday.
But either way, I've been rejected...

Meanwhile, I have to tell someone who's into me that I'm not interested romantically but willing to be friends. ugh
How shall I word it?

Try "I'd like to, but I've been seeing someone lately, so it's probably not the best idea."
That appears to be an acceptable lie/way to say it.


Congrats on 1000 posts.

sorry to hear that, rejection sucks. as to your question, i would suggest laying it out as simply and straightforwardly as you can--maybe tell him something like you don't feel attracted to him romantically but you think he's a cool/interesting person and would still like to know him as a friend--something that, although it's a rejection, has a (genuine) compliment in it so it's less hurtful.

Yeah, I wish.
But I just met the guy on a dating site recently so that wouldn't work. It's too obvious that I'm not seeing anybody exclusively.


Thanks for the kind words.
He is a very nice person actually and he should meet someone who would be happy to go out with him.
I agreed that I would see him again, but to be honest, I don't really want to be friends with him either.
So if I don't want to lie, how can I tell him in the nicest possible way that I don't want to see him again? (I'm such a horrible person, I know)

hrmm that's a toughy--did you mention on your profile or in your communication/s with him that you're on the spectrum? if so maybe you could say because of that you're not the sort of person that "collects friends and acquaintances" or something along those lines--so it's about you and what you want/don't want out of your exchanges with people and isn't personal to him.

(btw i don't think you're a horrible person for not wanting to be his friend. i don't always want to be friends with every nice person i meet, so i'm not judging.)

Sounds like you have been friendzoned! Sorry to hear that heres a song about being in the friend zone.[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSwsJtSfyXU[/youtube]

No I didn't mention that I was on the spectrum. (because I'm not officially diagnosed)
I should just be honest and tell him that I don't think we have much in common and that we shouldn't see each other again.
And I can also add that I'm very introverted and not the type to have many friends. I did mention to him that I never go out and just stay indoors most of the time. So he might understand.

i'm the same way; i've always valued quality over quantity in regard to friendships.

but yes--when in doubt, simple and honest is best.

Rejection in any form sucks. I feel for you. You did something that's hard for any of us to do - make the first move. For me, getting shot down makes it that much harder to make any kind of move next time. I hope you won't let that be the case for you. The biggest risk I ever took, relationship-wise, yielded the greatest results. Every time I try to play it safe in relationships, it seems to backfire. Keep going for what you really want!

I did it.
He replied; "No problem, I appreciate the honesty..." So it's all good. Phew.
Thanks for your advice, starvingartist

But it seems like whoever I pursue, don't reciprocate my feelings. I had been crushing on this guy for over six months...so yes, it really sucks.

anytime.

now if only i could learn to apply it to myself.....

I know that feeling, too. I often fixate on guys who don't reciprocate....or even know I'm alive!

Don't ever fixate on me, ladies.