Is This How A Person With HFA Is Viewed?

Page 1 of 3 [ 45 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Aspinator
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 961
Location: AspinatorLand

03 May 2014, 5:25 pm

I was sitting in a lobby and overheard 2 men speaking about this person they both knew who had HFA. They both agreed that the girl was attractive but they wouldn't consider dating her because she was fxxxed up in the head and too mentally challenged. Is this how NTs view us?



skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,295
Location: my own little world

03 May 2014, 5:34 pm

I hope not. Maybe some do but not all. I have never met an NT, and I have met tons, who ever gave me the impression that they thought like that. It's likely that these guys you over heard were just super jerks to begin with and probably feel that way about a lot of people.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


IamRob
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2014
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 408
Location: Quebec,Canada

03 May 2014, 6:16 pm

Quote:
I hope not. Maybe some do but not all. I have never met an NT, and I have met tons, who ever gave me the impression that they thought like that. It's likely that these guys you over heard were just super jerks to begin with and probably feel that way about a lot of people.

I agree with skibum,they are likely ignorant to it and created an opinion that reflects this.



Callista
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,775
Location: Ohio, USA

03 May 2014, 6:38 pm

I'm glad they don't want to date her. Nobody should have to date guys like that. Bleecch.


_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com

Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com


Dan_Undiagnosed
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 645

03 May 2014, 8:43 pm

I'm not surprised. It's not like having different skin colour. Being neurologically wired differently is a whole other issue. I bet they wouldn't talk like that if they actually got to know her and weren't basing it on stereotypes but I'm sure those attitudes are out there. Who cares? Would you want to be around people like that?



Sylvastor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 781
Location: Germany

03 May 2014, 8:54 pm

Callista wrote:
I'm glad they don't want to date her. Nobody should have to date guys like that. Bleecch.

Exactly. :lol:


_________________
Diagnosed with Aspergers.
BSP-errors are awesome.


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,554
Location: Stalag 13

03 May 2014, 10:04 pm

Sylvastor wrote:
Callista wrote:
I'm glad they don't want to date her. Nobody should have to date guys like that. Bleecch.

Exactly. :lol:


I wonder how they'll react a few years from now when they're married and they find out that one of their kids are diagnosed as being HFA.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,295
Location: my own little world

03 May 2014, 10:09 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
Sylvastor wrote:
Callista wrote:
I'm glad they don't want to date her. Nobody should have to date guys like that. Bleecch.

Exactly. :lol:


I wonder how they'll react a few years from now when they're married and they find out that one of their kids are diagnosed as being HFA.
If that ever happens it might be the best thing for them. I saw a documentary once of a guy who was as prejudiced towards black people as the day is long. Then his daughter married a black man and he ended up with a biracial grandson. He ended up falling in love with that baby and so much so that he and his wife adopted a black son of their own. And they love him so much that they have lost all traces of the prejudice they had before and feel nothing but shame for that old way of thinking.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,554
Location: Stalag 13

04 May 2014, 12:17 am

skibum wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
Sylvastor wrote:
Callista wrote:
I'm glad they don't want to date her. Nobody should have to date guys like that. Bleecch.

Exactly. :lol:


I wonder how they'll react a few years from now when they're married and they find out that one of their kids are diagnosed as being HFA.
If that ever happens it might be the best thing for them. I saw a documentary once of a guy who was as prejudiced towards black people as the day is long. Then his daughter married a black man and he ended up with a biracial grandson. He ended up falling in love with that baby and so much so that he and his wife adopted a black son of their own. And they love him so much that they have lost all traces of the prejudice they had before and feel nothing but shame for that old way of thinking.


I guess there is hope for the future. I like stories about people who adapt to the new way of thinking.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


LoveNotHate
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Oct 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,195
Location: USA

04 May 2014, 2:23 am

My neighbor told the police that I am ret*d, then the policeman asked me four or five times if I am ret*d.

Best to think in advance how to respond to insults if they actually say them. I got enraged.


_________________
After a failure, the easiest thing to do is to blame someone else.


EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

04 May 2014, 2:27 am

I think so. Not always in a hateful way, but yeah.
Basically with me it's been along the lines of "he's a nice looking boy, what a shame".



Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

04 May 2014, 3:05 am

Some of them do, yeah.

I agree with what Callista said.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


AutumnSylver
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 199

04 May 2014, 3:18 am

A lot of them probably do. People are good at hiding what they really think of you. They're so phony and polite to your face, then they talk sh*t about you as soon as you're out of earshot. That's one thing I hate about NTs. That, and they're so superficial. (They'll treat you like garbage if you don't dress up and wear makeup, but if you do, they treat you with respect).
It's probably best to not let anybody know you have HFA until you've known them for a while and know they like you, and you know that it won't matter to them. You also have to be careful not to tell anybody who is going to broadcast it to everyone.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

04 May 2014, 7:49 am

They were only speaking of one person so who knows what they meant by mentally challenged and being effed in the head. That is how they viewed her. That doesn't tell us how they view others with it.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


Adamantium
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2013
Age: 1024
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,863
Location: Erehwon

04 May 2014, 8:46 am

It's best not to try to generalize from a conversation like that. Some NTs might think that way, others don't and sometimes people (particularly NTs!) assent to statements they don't fully agree with because of the social context.

You run the risk of doing the same thing to NTs that those two were doing.

Abyssus abyssum invocat, as the ancient saying goes, or, as a more recent version has it, "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."



LupaLuna
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jan 2013
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,551
Location: tri-cities WA

04 May 2014, 10:01 am

I guess it boils down to the simple question of "do NT's talk behind our backs?" and the answer is, yes they do, all the time. I probably shouldn't talk about this but this is something I used to do back to my teenage years. As you know I'm an electrical engineer and one of the things I used to do was phone tapping as well as put hidden microphones in rooms, that said. NT's will say some of the nastiest things about you behind your back when they know you are not around. And believe me, it's quite painful to listen to some of the stuff these people have to say about you. This holds true for everybody from students, teachers, bosses, co-worker even business acquaintances. And the part that hurts the most is knowing that there is very little, if anything, you can do about it