unable to hold conversation or participate in conversation

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gnuxis
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08 May 2014, 2:15 pm

Does anyone have this problem where people have a conversation and you can't seem to participate naturally if you try it feels forced and uncomfortable and almost like a 'talking competition' and when someone has a conversation about planning something its so indirect and things keep changing and then you have to ask "what's going on?" Or people expect you to fully understand them by reading their mind, like if you're tying to help someone and they say "put that over there" without pointing at anything they expect you to just know somehow what they want. Is this normal?



Catarina935
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08 May 2014, 2:58 pm

That happens to me, too. I don't have much trouble in talking with one or maybe two persons, but if there are more I just can't say anything, so I just stay there, silent, listening to the rest. Conversation doesn't come out naturally; I don't feel the need to take part in the conversation, although I think that I "should". If I do, it sounds odd and out of place. :?



LookingLost
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08 May 2014, 3:48 pm

Yes, all the time.
Well... it's normal as far as I'm concerned. :lol:


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morslilleole
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08 May 2014, 3:59 pm

Catarina935 wrote:
That happens to me, too. I don't have much trouble in talking with one or maybe two persons, but if there are more I just can't say anything, so I just stay there, silent, listening to the rest. Conversation doesn't come out naturally; I don't feel the need to take part in the conversation, although I think that I "should". If I do, it sounds odd and out of place. :?

Yeah, I'm exactly the same. I can't really talk if there are several people around. Maybe if they're talking about a topic I know a lot about... But it's really challenging for me to get a word in.


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GibbieGal
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08 May 2014, 4:07 pm

Yup. I just smile and nod sometimes and if my eyes start glazing over I make an excuse to leave.



Marky9
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08 May 2014, 4:34 pm

I am generally ok talking to one or two people; more than that and I turn into just an observer.



ikerio
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08 May 2014, 6:14 pm

Yes I've noticed what you say about reading minds.You listen to an incomplete part of a story bc they fail to add chunks of relevant info about it, I'm forever having to ask questions.



kraftiekortie
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08 May 2014, 7:38 pm

I'm not very good at mass conversations; I avoid them whenever possible. I'm okay with maybe two other people.



PaulHubert
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08 May 2014, 8:29 pm

My current approach is to take calculated risks in conversions, given that I go through a catalog in my head "what if I say this, or that, or that?", the temptation being ruling every single one out until eternity and holding the silence. Also, it helps to be ok with not having a lot to talk about, eventually flowing and natural conversations become easy over time with the same person; but for casual encounters where impressions aren't too important (like working with a client at work but not sales job), I take risks here and there like I said, but if I strictly stick to the matter at hand (strictly business) and said nothing in between, I would be fine with that too, even if the other person would prefer to talk more.



CuddleHug
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09 May 2014, 11:06 am

Well I am undiagnosed but I share this problem. I think the ‘mind reading’ expectation would be better understood if we connected to the conversation or their body language because I note others that where I get lost and confused others have no problem at all so they are obviously getting the information somewhere. As for conversation in general I can’t even force it I try to think of something to say but I can’t. The majority of time I just can’t connect to the topic and conversation at all and one of us walks away as there’s no point to it anymore.



oracleofthejedi1
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09 May 2014, 12:05 pm

I do not like being in group conversations. I like talking to people one on one. NT's especially have a tendency to act differently in a group situation and I do not like this. I used to drink a lot before going to casual group scenarios like parties ... it was the only way I could, "let my hair down." I am also HORRIBLE at remembering names ... even of people I know very well. It is quite embarrassing.



Al725
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09 May 2014, 12:26 pm

No groupp conversations for me. Those NTs change the subject way too frequently.



starkid
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09 May 2014, 2:04 pm

oracleofthejedi1 wrote:
NT's especially have a tendency to act differently in a group situation and I do not like this.


omg I HATE that. It's creepy and fake, almost like their bodies have been possessed by evil spirits or something.


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morslilleole
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09 May 2014, 2:24 pm

starkid wrote:
oracleofthejedi1 wrote:
NT's especially have a tendency to act differently in a group situation and I do not like this.


omg I HATE that. It's creepy and fake, almost like their bodies have been possessed by evil spirits or something.

I fully agree with this. Why can't they be like me ; equally weird in both situations :D


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gnuxis
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10 May 2014, 1:03 am

I meant having any conversation at all. It seems like if you don't have false gossip you made up to share nobody wants to hear about it. Nobody gets excited about something you're making or something you learn, so you just stay silent and speak only when spoken to. That's the old fashioned approach right? You're taught when young that children should be seen and not heard, that you aren't supposed to like girls and nobody ever reeducated you to suddenly be the opposite so you just avoid women impulsively and don't have conversations. So you become stuck with a 2nd grader's social skills at 23



a_dork
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11 May 2014, 2:56 am

Al725 wrote:
No groupp conversations for me. Those NTs change the subject way too frequently.


I've noticed that in group conversations as well. I'm silently contemplating what I'm going to say and what do you know, the subject's changed. :shrug:


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