The Cure for Nice Guy Syndrome

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I think nice guy syndrome is a byproduct of an oversexed culture. I believe I have a cure for nice guy syndrome. This is mainly for guys.

a. You need to have a full understanding of yourself.

a. Get yourself a full psychological and medical profile.

b. Understand your own strengths and weaknesses

b. Understand your society around you and know what you will be working in and dealing in.

c. Do not have sex until you are married. Let the woman know you do not believe in having sex before marriage.

d. Based upon c, have other priorities that come before sex like developing one?s career or one?s hobbies. Even learn the art of relaxation.

e. Develop a lifestyle that will enhance you, any future partner you may fall in love with and that will benefit society as a whole.

f. Drink sparingly and do not do any illicit drugs. Don?t let alchohol or illicit drugs spoil your good time. If you?re an addict then more likely than not one will have to waste his entire day searching for a dealer who will sell you your drugs. So, your whole day is spent looking for drugs. Why? How does this enhance you?

g. Get plenty of exercise

h. If you go to parties or other events go there to have fun and to enjoy yourself. Don?t let anything including the desire to get laid to spoil your good time.

I. Do not even concern yourself with what this over-sexed and permissive culture says about getting laid. The truth we live in a hustling based culture (USA) in which the business of America is business. Just because a given society states something as true or right does not make it so.

j. Consider that this Nice Guy Syndrome is a symptom of our over-sexed and hustling based culture. Reject this hustling and this business oriented culture learn to develop a life that is filled with meaning and learn to Spin your Own Straw Into Gold.

k. Be respectful other people. Learn how to do this.

Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 12 May 2014, 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

i'm really confused how this helps "nice guy syndrome" at all, especially with withholding sex part

sorry friend but this advice is more learning towards "how to be a nice guy"

How? Your critique is to vague. Can you go into more detail please? All in All what I'm saying is to put first things first and don't even worry about getting laid or even looking for a romantic relationship. Put other priorities first. A romantic relationship may come or it may not.

If this still damns one to hell then I have nothing further to say except that American society has schizophrenic, contradictory and inconsistent demands that are unsatisfiable. How does one be noble and be true? What is the way to live in virtue with others? By what I am observing, In America you can't.

I've noticed that the nice guy symptoms are a check list for low testosterone. If you up it (either naturally or exogenously), you will notice a difference.

There is a misconception about testosterone, the "normal range" just means that you are not going to have any medical complications. However, if you are not at least on the medium high or high end (which is very common), it will manifest as reduced competitiveness and increased anxiety.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15939408

It applies to women too; while their levels don't match those of the males, having a proportionally high testosterone has similar effects:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg1 ... trick.html

Furthermore, this is linked to another common misconception in psychology and psychotherapy, which is that everything can be controlled with your thoughts and you just have to "think differently", which is in a number of cases nonesense and dates all the way back to Freud's (mostly incorrect) theories about the mind and a general ignorance regarding the effect of hormones, deficiencies and other conditions on the mind and behavior, besides just thoughts.

Well...my understanding of "nice guys", as usually discussed on interwebs, is that their big problem isn't "I can't get laid because women like jerks." Their big problem is that they think the universe owes them a willing and compliant female, and that "nice" is a sort of currency tradeable for sex. They are not in fact nice; they are angry misogynist jerks who treat women as status objects.

I mean I do have sympathy if the guy is genuinely nice and 17 years old and watching all these babes in pre-calc run after thugs. (And then listening to them cry when the thugs treat them poorly.) It's true without a doubt: most 17-yo girls are complete morons, and "decent fellow" isn't high on their list. That changes pretty damn fast, though, and a genuinely nice guy who keeps himself in decent physical shape and is self-supporting is hiiiighly unlikely to be single at 30. (Yes, AS -- any disability -- will complicate matters, but even so.)

I'm sorry, cubedemon, but I really don't understand what the abstinence-till-marriage part is about in your list there -- otherwise it seems like a generally good list for anyone to keep in mind. But I'd actually suggest not getting married without having had lots of sex, particularly with the person you mean to marry. How else will you know if you're sexually compatible? Or what you like, or what you definitely don't like? And then there's the matter of bringing experience to the table. I'd really suggest that if you're going to marry, you marry someone with whom you get on well in the sack. I mean apart from the other qualities you'd look for.

I know that's all a little tritely late-20th-c "sex-positive", but there's a lot to be said for it. I had the benefit (like you, maybe, CD) of growing up in a minority religion which does not define virtue as being somehow separate from earthly, fleshly matters. I wasn't taught to be ashamed of my body, nor of sex. (I was just warned emphatically not to get pregnant or to marry a non-Jew. And to get genetic testing!) But a tremendous number of people in the US are given incredible hangups about their bodies and sexuality, and I think it does real damage. Everything from self-esteem issues to tolerating abuse to failing to seek medical help until too late because it's something going on "down there". And disease, my god, I remember talking to a bunch of college students from very Christian backgrounds who had a wild set of misconceptions about how venereal diseases are spread. And how contraception works.

Yeah -- sex and sexuality are big parts of teen and adult life, and I guess my take is that it's a mistake to put it in a "holy noble purity" box to be presented on one's wedding night. I think people get some bad surprises about what sex actually is that way.

What do you consider a Nice Guy?

I think Nice Guy syndrome is the product of an infantile, self-centered culture. It is not a reaction to it, but an accurate instantiation of it.

From my experience, I'd recommend:

a) Grow up.

The cure for nice guy syndrome is easy just stop being nice and be a cold hearted prick!

Growing up is a good one. But for the younger crowds, I would also recommend learning how to stand up for yourself before learning to turn the other cheek. What do I mean? Don't let someone else bully you around. Once they get the idea that you won't be bossed around, you can show forgiveness then.

Someone who is genuine and true. Someone who wishes to transcend themselves and to discover their better selves. Someone who wishes to help others from their circumstances and help make things better. Someone who is willing to put their life on the line for a noble cause they believe in. Someone who dares go where others not tread. Someone who is willing to question society itself and challenge society itself to get to better truths of what virtue, nobility and what niceness is. Someone who is willing to go beyond the physical realm and go into the transcendent realm.

Prometheus was willing to steal fire from the gods themselves to bring fire and light to mankind.

Jesus Christ was willing to die on the cross to do what was right by God and to give man eternal salvation. Jesus transcended the human flesh, desires and wants. He was willing to be whipped, flogged, have thorns put on his head and to be crucified. He was able to transcend human nature itself and consciously go against it.

Socrates was looking for truth about things like virtue, nobility, morality, etc. He had a love for his fellow man and he wanted to help better them.

What is the point of sex if one can't live, understand and transcend? What is the point of sex if one can't experience the totality of it all and the spiritual essence of all things? Are we just animals or are we animals with something more like a soul? I don't just want to have sex. I want to be able to make love with spiritual ecstasy and give my partner this same ecstasy as well.

What is the point of sex if one can't live? I want to capture the essence of existence itself. I want to understand it and become one with it.

Ignoring women for the most part sided with total indifference seems to attract women as well. Make yourself as attractive and in shape as possible and ignore em and they will come flocking to you. They like a challenge also be comfident at all times when you aknowledge em for once.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQq_XmhBTgg

Relax, you're already there. You're alive, this is it, this is what there is.

I feel like though that there is a lot more to it. Do we truthfully have a full understanding of existence itself? I do not believe we do.

If I accepted what you say I feel like all we're doing is just looking at the surface. To me, there has to be more. Even as a child I felt like there has to be more. I have no empirical evidence but for me I simply just feel it.

Nice guys DO NOT NEED TO CHANGE, of course they're disenfranchised but that's because they don't hold power as the most fundamental possession of a human being. This world respects power above all else, and nice guys don't have an affinity for power, they don't need to change because they are inherently different from the way this world works, and that is a good thing. I LIKE IT that some guys aren't just mindless sex-crazed animals, I LIKE IT that some guys are't drawn to the allure of money, or all sorts of vanity and self-seeking goals.

For the nice guy to learn to put power in his heart is to welcome its corruptible qualities, which I don't want inside him, or inside me. The only change the nice guy needs to go through is to let go of most of the world, and to accept that he will lead a lonely life, but that's because of his purity; he's untouched by the corruption that a love for power inflicts, that makes him lonely but that preserves his goodness, the nice guy needs to remember that his goodness is what justifies him, and that this world isn't all that there is.

Nice guys are sad, and they might lament their circumstance, but I'd much rather be a lonely nice guy than anything else, so the world doesn't really like you, so freaking what? Let them cut each others throats, I know of worse things than being lonely, and loosing my goodness is one of them.

So pushing and straining and tying down your penis are supposed to get you there?

Not sure what any of that has to do with nice guy syndromes and what not but do have a couple questions.

Why should males wait till marriage to have sex? If they want to cool, if a female wants to great to each their own....but marriage is a much bigger commitment than sex, people have one night stands or become friends w/ benefits or even boyfriend and girlfriend which all can involve sex but may not actually become a marriage situation. Also if someone never marries they should not be barred from having sex. There are some people that are just fine having sex together that i know of who would by no means be ready for a marrige.

Also no drinks or drugs? some females actually don't have an issue with that and prefer people who aren't 100% straight, how would not doing that cure 'nice guy syndrome' what is nice guy syndrome?.....or are we talking 'as*hole who tries to be nice to get in girls pants syndrome'?