Staring at Strangers - Observing Human Behaviour
I think Joe90's experience with the two women in the supermarket was a long way from normal! They clearly had something on their mind...
I stare because I enjoy watching how people relate to each other. I particularly enjoy the un-selfconscious way in which teenagers behave around each other. I sometimes find myself on a bus or train with a bunch of youngsters nearby, either travelling to or from school, or heading into town or coming home from a night out. Watching them gives me mixed feelings - on the one hand, I feel really happy for the uncomplicated pleasure they are getting from each other's company, but on the other hand I feel regret for the fact that I have never been able to experience such pleasure for myself.
I also enjoy watching the behaviour of people waiting in queues - if I had the talent, I reckon I could make a really good silent film telling the story of queuing.
I observe other's, we all do as humans its just nature after all where intreasted in other people and sadley as well we are judgemental creatures and observing others is also apart of that.
I observe people all the time and find what they do very Intreasting and it can help to give me and idea of them, but as humans to we naturally observe out of attraction and im guilty of this why even today I was having quick glances across the table at a girl im attacted to and we all do it plus trust me when ever somebody looks at me and I spot they look away straight away same here if somebody spots im staring at them I will look away straight away and pretend to look else where and this espicaly applys to when im looking at somebody because im attracted to them.
CJH123 - the business of sexual attraction is a very specialised part of human behaviour. Most animal species just get on with it (take a look at some of those natural history programmes on TV) and so do many humans. I really wish I could advise you about how to attract a mate - staring is not always successful, but if you always look away, then you have little chance of success. It is a mystery...
I understand what you saying and I really would love to love somebody haha and have a partner, the problem with staring in a situation to do with attractiveness is how really, I mean I know you need to let them see your intreasted but you cant stare to long or it may put them off.
If you have any other advice though I would appreciate it
I suppose the way people make eye contact with each other as humans depends on context. It is normal for humans to look at other humans to ''check them out'' (not in a sexual way). Looking at people is normal, and when people sit down they do look at what's going on around them, which includes observing people. I've even had NTs tell me that they like to sit by a window in restaurants because they enjoy looking out at the people coming and going.
Staring seems to be common in NTs when it comes to having a problem with somebody, because I have got, and still get, plenty of stares, and so I suppose they have a problem with me for some reason or other, maybe I'm nervous in my body language or something, because I don't do anything else that's out of the ordinary (although I didn't think looking a bit anxious is that big of a deal, as social anxiety is very common, that's what I have read on many anxiety websites). And no, I don't stare at people, but I can usually feel when I'm being stared at, and when I glance up to see if they are staring I am usually right.
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I think everybody people watches, especially in places like malls, but like others are saying, that is not the same thing as staring. I'm really bad, I take pics or videos with my iPad if I think they will make a good character for my novel.
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Sometimes I stare at others, but don't always realize I'm doing it. I'm usually looking at the persons hairstyle, outfit or they just look nice in general. I think most people take it the wrong way like it means I'm trying to communicate something to them, because of the reactions I get, but I'm usually not trying to communicate anything to them.
I think this involves two fundamental truths about human beings in general:
1. People like to watch people do stuff, and (conciously och subconciously) learn from them.
2. People generally don't like being watched.
Problems usually only occurs when the watcher doesn't know when to stop watching. You have to be sneaky about it (unless of course you're trying to get their attention)!
Those girls clearly had either little knowledge or little respect for number two. As to why they were staring, who knows? Maybe they just didn't like the color of your shirt or something.
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BirdInFlight
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I feel like the odd one out here, because I try to look at other people as little as possible! I've never been a people-watcher -- I'm usually trying to stay in my own little world and forget the fact that maybe I'm in a crowded place full of people. And I don't want anyone to look at or watch me, so I guess I'm partly thinking that if I don't do it to them, they won't notice me and do it to me.
I feel very uncomfortable when I catch someone watching me, even if it's for innocent reason like the ones mentioned on this thread, like watching people make their salads. That kind of thing makes me upset, even though the people watching don't mean any harm. I'm very self conscious and would rather not be seen.
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