People being inconsistent in how they behave towards me

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Falloy
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17 May 2014, 3:54 pm

Some days I can go into the office and colleagues will look at me and smile and say "Hello Dave, how was your weekend?" and be quite friendly and I will (try to) respond in kind. Another day I might go in and say "Good Morning" and the person I've spoken to will look at me as if I am a complete swine who they know has committed the most dreadful crimes.

I find this very hard to deal with and have therefore started falling back to a default of not engaging with people, of being silent and robotic and sullen. I'm sure I don't come across as very nice person but I find this inconsistency very hard to predict and judge my behaviour accordingly.

I've worked out that people are generally a bit morose and quiet on Monday morning and more chatty and cheerful on Friday afternoon but at other times I can't work out at all what is going on.

Of course, they all seem to be able to judge one another's moods almost telepathically and to be more forgiving of them (I feel) than they ever are of me.

Can anyone relate to this?

Thanks.



justkillingtime
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17 May 2014, 4:15 pm

Yes. I try to remind myself that other people have their psychological issues and personal lives that affect their mood. I find it safest for me to be consistent (slap a smile on my face, say hi and go about my job). They can take it or leave it but I did my part.


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redrobin62
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17 May 2014, 4:32 pm

I get the same treatment at my AA/NA meetings. Sometimes the people are nice to me, sometimes not. Very strange. I could never understand it.



League_Girl
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17 May 2014, 5:21 pm

I remember this in school. I remember kids seemed snotty with me and unfriendly but yet wrote something great in my yearbook and said the opposite in their message. I was very confused. To this day I still don't get it. I also remember there was this girl on my softball team in my freshman year and she seemed snotty towards me and then friendly and then she graduated and after that I would sometimes run into her at places and she was never once a snot towards me again. My mom said some people grow up and are nicer. I have known some kids who were the opposite unfortunately.

It's one thing to have a bad day and be stressed out so they snap than just changing personality out of the blue being all wishy washy.


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neobluex
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17 May 2014, 7:10 pm

It's because their are human beings (have emotions, have personal lifes, are affected by their environment, etc.). Sometimes the behavioral expression of these changes is not obvious.