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ImAnAspie
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22 May 2014, 10:40 pm

If for some reason, you're stuck in the same spot (car, office room, etc.) with a work colleague, acquaintance, etc. and you don't like to indulge in small talk, do you feel uncomfortable or rude just sitting in silence? Do you feel the need to say something?

How do others handle this?


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mezzanotte
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22 May 2014, 10:56 pm

Nope... I speak when I feel like it. I also enjoy my own private thoughts. It's more awkward to be with someone who doesn't know when to stop blathering.



Shadi2
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22 May 2014, 11:11 pm

I'm really curious to see other replies to this question. Myself I don't even know, it depends I guess. But this can even happen with family members, like once with one of my aunts that I don't see often, we were in her car, going to visit one of my uncles and she was expecting me to start the conversation (looking at me every time we stopped etc) lol, thank God she finally decided to talk instead of waiting for me, it was getting pretty awkward, and this is the worse for me, when I see that people expect me to do the small talk (and its as bad if its on the phone). On the other hand I've been to a restaurant with co-workers (at lunch time) and in general there was no awkward silence because they were talking and talking (in fact its always easier if there is 2 of them so they can entertain each other and I can talk just if I feel like it).


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22 May 2014, 11:15 pm

Nah, I'm off in my head thinking about interest stuff.



Skilpadde
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23 May 2014, 2:25 am

As long as it is a place where I have to be (school, work) etc I'm fine with staying silent. Nothing else even enters my mind. If I don't have anything to say, I won't say anything, if I have something to say, I'll say it. Those silences aren't awkward or uncomfortable for me. I'll just do whatever I'm supposed to be doing, or read or listen to MP3 or just be in my own world.
I'm pretty much only in a car if I I'm riding with my mother or taking a taxi (very rarely), and silences with my mother aren't awkward. In taxis I don't feel any obligation to be talkative, I'll just follow the driver's lead, or keep stand-offish if I don't feel like talking.

For me silences only get awkward in actual social situations (when I'm trying to talk to someone).


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y-pod
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23 May 2014, 4:56 am

Silence doesn't tend to bother me. But then I do small talks pretty well, so there isn't much chance for awkward silence anyway. Unless the other person obviously doesn't want to talk, then it's not my problem.


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Who_Am_I
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23 May 2014, 6:24 am

If I've got a book with me, I read it. That way I don't have to sit there just looking at the other person.
If they ask me questions or make conversational overtures, I respond as well as I can, because I don't want to be rude and ignore someone who's actively trying to talk to me, but I don't encourage further conversation unless it's about something I find interesting.


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23 May 2014, 7:22 am

Understandable.



alwaysnow
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23 May 2014, 8:29 am

Silence is never awkward to me, but I have come to understand it can be to others.

I've actually had to try to train myself in registering when a silence is considered awkward, so that I can be able to know better if I should try to say at least something to the other person in situations I would never have felt for saying anything naturally.



snufkin
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23 May 2014, 9:18 am

If the other person expects me to say something I will feel their feeling of expectation, and if I don't have anything to say (small talk is out of the question, can't do it), they will be confused as to why I don't say anything, and then I feel their expectation, and their confusion. Many times they will also feel frustrated and/or insulted, and then I will feel that too.

This mishmash of feelings makes me very uncomfortable.

If the other person is fine with silence, so am I. This also makes it easier for me to break it, since I can actually think, instead of being too busy processing someone else's feelings and erroneus presumptions of negative intent.



Al725
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26 May 2014, 1:02 am

Just this thread makes me shutter.For me this is much more frightening while in the presence of a woman I'm attracted to. But yeah, I really feel the need to keep.the conversation going and to avoid lengthening what I feel an NT would consider a "pause" to a prolonged period of silence that would alert the NT that something is not quite right with me.



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26 May 2014, 3:08 am

I don't mind silence.

I often forget that it bothers other people. ...I'll let them worry about it. :P


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ImAnAspie
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26 May 2014, 4:53 am

I think this was more of a problem to the younger me but now I'm older, it doesn't worry so much. Now I'm older, not much seems to worry me... apart from being older.


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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.