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goldfish21
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25 May 2014, 12:17 pm
Why are Sheldon's feelings ok but Leonard's perception invalid?
Think about it.
From Leonard's perspective, Sheldon is overreacting, plain and simple. IMO it's perfectly acceptable for him to have this perception of the situation and to state such. Besides, it might actually serve Sheldon in a beneficial way to be reminded that his response to the situation is a bit extreme, and it might just ground him a little and bring him back down to Earth front he frazzled state he's in once he's consciously aware that he's overreacting.
And yes, throughout my life I've been told I was overreacting to things. In the moment it's frustrating when others say that, but now in 20/20 hindsight they were almost always right & I really did need to stop and assess my reactions to things and adjust them to a more appropriate level for the situation.
This thread reminds me of a short part of The Complete Guide To Asperger's Syndrome where they describe dealing with Autistic kids' overreactions to situations. i.e. if another kid had called him/her a name and then s/he responded with physical violence, the overreacting Autistic kid is then shown numeric scales to gauge responses in order to understand what an appropriate reaction is vs. overreacting. i.e. a verbal name calling might be a 2/10, but responding by hitting the kid might be considered a 9/10 - an overreaction by several magnitudes.
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25 May 2014, 12:23 pm
goldfish21
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25 May 2014, 12:38 pm
Think about it.
From Leonard's perspective, Sheldon is overreacting, plain and simple. IMO it's perfectly acceptable for him to have this perception of the situation and to state such. Besides, it might actually serve Sheldon in a beneficial way to be reminded that his response to the situation is a bit extreme, and it might just ground him a little and bring him back down to Earth front he frazzled state he's in once he's consciously aware that he's overreacting.
And yes, throughout my life I've been told I was overreacting to things. In the moment it's frustrating when others say that, but now in 20/20 hindsight they were almost always right & I really did need to stop and assess my reactions to things and adjust them to a more appropriate level for the situation.
This thread reminds me of a short part of The Complete Guide To Asperger's Syndrome where they describe dealing with Autistic kids' overreactions to situations. i.e. if another kid had called him/her a name and then s/he responded with physical violence, the overreacting Autistic kid is then shown numeric scales to gauge responses in order to understand what an appropriate reaction is vs. overreacting. i.e. a verbal name calling might be a 2/10, but responding by hitting the kid might be considered a 9/10 - an overreaction by several magnitudes.
I just don't think it's fair for Leonard to jump to the conclusion that Sheldon is overreacting when he has no idea what he's feeling. As far as he's concerned the situation might well be as dramatic as his reaction. To the kid, being called names might be a 9/10 on the scale, and yes, he needs to be taught more appropriate responses than violence, but we can't assume that the name calling is minor just because that's the way we would perceive it.
I disagree with you. Completely.
Why isn't it "fair," for Leonard to perceive the situation as he perceives it? To Leonard, Sheldon is overreacting. Period. Further to that, just like the words vs. hitting example, if the societal norm response is one thing and Sheldon's reaction is much more extreme, then he's overreacting.
As for the example with the kids, the point is that the kid's perception is wrong if s/he thinks that being called names is a 9/10 and worthy of a violent reaction. That's the whole point of teaching kids with a quantifiable scale so that they can understand. Heck, virtually ALL kids are taught these things with the phrase "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me." It's not just Autistic kids that need to have this pointed out, it's a childhood learning thing.. but quantifying actions and reactions to gauge their level of appropriateness makes for a logical comparison that Autistic kids are more likely to understand and learn from.
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25 May 2014, 5:02 pm
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goldfish21
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25 May 2014, 5:59 pm
I disagree with you. Completely.
Why isn't it "fair," for Leonard to perceive the situation as he perceives it? To Leonard, Sheldon is overreacting. Period. Further to that, just like the words vs. hitting example, if the societal norm response is one thing and Sheldon's reaction is much more extreme, then he's overreacting.
As for the example with the kids, the point is that the kid's perception is wrong if s/he thinks that being called names is a 9/10 and worthy of a violent reaction. That's the whole point of teaching kids with a quantifiable scale so that they can understand. Heck, virtually ALL kids are taught these things with the phrase "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me." It's not just Autistic kids that need to have this pointed out, it's a childhood learning thing.. but quantifying actions and reactions to gauge their level of appropriateness makes for a logical comparison that Autistic kids are more likely to understand and learn from.
We're not neurotypical so we will not have neurotypical responses. The way to deal with these 'overreactions' is not to try and conform to the societal norm but to accept this is how we feel. I have had a lifetime of trying to quash my natural response to fit in with society's ideas of how I "should" react, and it only leads to meltdown or shutdown/depression later. If I accept my response, even if it is an overreaction by society's standards, I can then decide logically how to deal with it in a way that doesn't hurt me or others. I've only learnt this recently (yes I'm a slow learner) and it's really liberating. So, in this example, although I haven't seen the episode, it seems that Sheldon understands how he feels about change and is taking the entirely sensible action of going away to think about it. It may not be how Leonard processes it but it doesn't mean he's wrong. It would be unfair to Leonard if Sheldon told him that his (Leonard's) reaction to the impending change was wrong, but it's not unfair to him to say he shouldn't criticise Sheldon for 'overreacting'.
And the hitting example is a completely different thing altogether. If Sheldon hit Leonard then of course he is in the wrong and it would then be unfair to stop Leonard from saying so.
Bolded the part that matters.. you've acknowledged yourself that you do in fact need to figure out ways to interact with others that are socially acceptable. That's my point.
As for Sheldon/Leonard, you've reiterated my point again as I pointed out to the OP that it's not fair to say Sheldon's reaction should be accepted but Leonard's reaction to Sheldon shouldn't. I was commenting on the OP's commentary, not on what was described as being played out in the show.
IMO the hitting example is relevant as it makes it very clear what is and isn't an acceptable reaction to something, and quantifies reactions on a relative scale to give logical explanations to Autistic kids/minds of what is and isn't socially acceptable in terms of reactions to things. The point is to that Autistics need to learn what overreactions are so that they can try to avoid them as best they can in the future.
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25 May 2014, 6:15 pm
