Stores and restaurants that are TOO friendly

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Joined: 14 Jan 2013
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,551
Location: tri-cities WA

30 May 2014, 10:26 am

What really bugs me about super nice employes is the unwanted attention they draw. As you know, ASD people naturally don't want attention being drawn to then and I am no exception.


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Joined: 4 Feb 2013
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,319
Location: New York, NY

30 May 2014, 10:57 am

Quill wrote:
The Publix grocery store near me is really bad about doing that. The overly cheerful cashiers will say things like, "Oh, this looks delicious!", "Have you had this before? Is it good?", "Where did you find this? I haven't seen it before, but it must be in here somewhere, ha ha ha", "This looks yummy!", "I bet this would go good with asparagus", "Oh, I love this! Don't you?".

Wow, I'm just so clueless. I really thought they were being sincere when they did things like this LOL
However, if they ask me something that sounds like they are trying to get me to spend more money ("I bet this would go good with asparagus"), then I do catch that and subsequently feel resentful.
I wish I could be more open and cheerful like those employees seem to be. I have to really dig deep down inside to say a compliment to someone just to make them feel good. I always think I must come off as really insincere when I do, but I have to remind myself that people like that sort of stuff no matter how badly I execute it. I appreciate receiving compliments, and I have to remind myself to give more of them, to spread the joy, so to speak. I don't like feeling like I'm being socially made to do these things, but I realize that it is important to get along with people. It took me over 40 years to figure this all out. I have to put my own feelings aside to be a more likeable person. Ugh.
There are some people who really are that cheerful and nice. I envy them. Although on some level they probably have other less than stellar qualities. But I can appreciate that they spread around some type of joy that I feel very lacking in. I can act at it for a short period, but it is draining and I certainly can't act and sell something at the same time. Focusing on the acting part is already too hard. If I have to think about selling something that just demands a whole different part of my brain that doesn't work well simultaneously with the acting part.