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Competitiveness?

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daydreamer84
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29 May 2014, 11:37 am

I don't know if I am. I don't like competitive games much, I prefer solitary games like boggle and Sudoku but maybe in other ways.



linatet
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29 May 2014, 11:44 am

DashboardLogic wrote:
linatet wrote:
Quote:
I'm curious about the tendency to become someone of competitive nature. I would imagine, (but of course could well stand corrected,) that for several reasons this would be strange for anyone on the spectrum

the opposite, from what I know aspies (don't know about classical autistics) tend to be competitive!
I am, a lot. Not the kind of competitive like doing anything to win, but the kind of competitive that will work hard to be number one, and then help number two.



Interesting to learn that that could well be a somewhat common trait after all. Thanks for the new perspective on that.


Quote:
I thought NTs were more competitive.

literature says about aspies being competitive; I think we are perceived like that mainly because of those characteristics: perfectionism, out of scale reaction to losing and perseverance.
also I think in many cases self-steem may play a role. Because they have been bullied or turned down their self-steem relies heavily on being good at what they are good at. For instance, an aspie that is intelligent wants to be the most intelligent; an aspie that knows everything about soccer doesn't like it when someone else knows more about soccer. It's a kind of compensation. This is my theory at least.



GiantHockeyFan
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29 May 2014, 12:12 pm

linatet wrote:
Because they have been bullied or turned down their self-steem relies heavily on being good at what they are good at. For instance, an aspie that is intelligent wants to be the most intelligent; an aspie that knows everything about soccer doesn't like it when someone else knows more about soccer. It's a kind of compensation. This is my theory at least.

BINGO!

I would also like to add that I believe I developed it as a way of masking my shall we say soft, more feminine side. In other words, it became my way of showing I am not gay and I can be just as male as everyone else. I was bullied mercilessly and the main reason it all started was because I am so emotional for a guy. Real shame that men who show female characteristics are seen so negatively but not the other way around. I have gotten better though: I used to be devastated almost to the point of depression when my favourite teams would lose and I recently had my favorite hockey team lose Game 7 of the playoffs by one goal. Rather than getting upset or feel terrible about how agonizingly close they came I said "oh well it was still a lot of fun and you can't win em all!" Took me 31 years to say that though: I usually took it harder than any of the players.