Hygiene issues...what exactly is the problem?

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I had a conversation with my mother today about daily showering. I have never been one to do that -- sorry to gross out some of you. When I was MUCH younger, I was really bad about it -- sometimes go WEEKS without a shower. As I've gotten older I've gotten much better about it. But even then, I don't see showering/bathing as something one needs to do every day. To me it depends on what I've been doing that day. If I've been sedentary in A/C for the day, I'm not going to be concerned about it. If I've been mowing grass or been at the beach all day, then yeah....a shower sounds like a good idea. I generally take the stand that I shower when I feel the need to. To be clear...I'm not TOTALLY filthy. I change my clothes and underwear, wear deodorant, and brush my teeth everyday. I will admit to even now sometimes going longer than I should have, but mostly I get one before I start to smell bad. My mother is appalled at this, and bathes every day, sometimes more than once, regardless of how strenuous her day was. My whole family just thinks I'm lazy and dirty.

I said all that in order to ask this question -- according to the doctor doing my assessment, poor hygiene is something she sees with lots of Aspies. Why is that? Is it a sensory issue -- a problem with the water or soap or heat or cold? Or is it an executive function issue? I can't answer this and I'm one of the ones with the problem. I don't like the sudden wet on my dry skin, and I don't like being cold and wet after being warm and dry. But I'm not sure that any of those sensations are intense enough to be the issue for me. If I'm not ready for a shower, I can't MAKE myself do it. But once I'm ready -- feeling grimy or itchy or sweaty -- I'll jump right in. And once I get in, and get soaked down, I love it and don't want to get out. And I love the way I smell after a shower. So why can't I make myself do it more often?

And when I refer to "shower", I'm actually speaking of the entire washing experience, whether standing under a fall of water, or sitting in a tub of same.

showers feel nice to me, especially the Jacuzzi nozzles. that said, if I don't have to be around people, I am generally lazy and unless I get totally filthy exercising or doing yard work, I will stew in my own juices, so to speak, for up to a week in the winter, before showering so I can go shopping and not make people around me burp their cookies . I will ALWAYS be clean around other people. showering for me, although it feels nice, is a chore, in that I have to laboriously scrub-a-dub all the different parts of me bod, reaching up and down and around and back, then rinsing. what is hardest is to wash my hair which is past my shoulders, that takes the lions' share of shower time. THAT is why I tend to shower only when I have to. when I get that icky greasy stinky feeling I will shower.

The Squid actually grew up with the same logic. If we aren't going to be entertaining company, or out sweating, we don't worry too much about it. It's more of a social practice. You don't want to meet someone for the first time, and think "That stench is awful." It looks badly on someone, and something like that does not "Wash away." Hehehe.. Ahem, pardon the pun.

We agree with you. If you are going to be lazy around the house, with no social responsibilities for the day, we see no reason to waste the water. On the other hand, for school, work, and hot situations, SHOWER... It's just what you have to do.

As auntblabby stated, we find that showers and bathes can feel nice. It can also help relieve stress, and works wonders for sore/achy muscles.

I shower, shave, wash my hair, wear clean clothes only because I don't like to be dirty or feel dirty and it's nice to shower when I have been sweating. As a kid I didn't care and that went for bad breath too. I started to care at age nine because I didn't want ugly teeth and kids commenting on my bad breath. At age ten I would shower and I was literally OCD about it. I would shower once of course and every few days. But being dirty would just give me distress and I was afraid of dirt and getting dirty even though I could always shower so getting dirty is no biggie. I am one of those aspies who don't have poor hygiene.

When I shower, I just wash my hair and shave. I use soap when I shave so that is killing two birds with one stone. I also don't shower every day and at least I am saving on water. I shower every 2-3 days and if I had been working and I sweated or I smell like unleaded gas from cutting the grass, I will shower and it doesn't matter if I showered yesterday. I just don't like to stink and it doesn't matter if I am alone or not going anywhere. I have also showered when I was hot. I once got myself over heated from walking over a mile to the grocery store and back with two bags and I had to take a cold bath to cool myself off because I got myself over heated. I think I was pregnant with my son then and it was summer.

I don't know anyone who showers or bathes more than once a day unless absolutely necessary. Nobody in my family did it growing up, whether it was my immediate family, my aunt's household, or my grandparents when I stayed over for a weekend.

Every other day usually unless I'm feeling especially dirty. I definitely only wash my hair every other day. I don't use body soap very often, water usually does the job just fine.

I think society has gotten a bit overenthusiastic about showering frequency. Then again I've also done fieldwork where nobody showers for a week, which makes showering everyday when you aren't doing stuff to get dirty seem ridiculous.

I shower everyday I couldn't bear not showering and I use Shower gels and a loofah to cleanse myself.
In the summer I shower twice a day.

I do bathe every day and use deodorant. I like baths, but really don't like showers. I'm not sure if it's the noise, the pressure of the water, the confinement or a combination, it just isn't a relaxing experience. I also dislike washing my hair, which is a problem because if it doesn't get washed at least every other day it starts to look like the exxon Valdez oil slick.

I also dislike brushing my teeth. I used to be really dreadful at it as a kid, possibly because I have a overactive gag reflex. It probably didn't help that my mother would then scrub them till my gums bled. As an adult I got paranoid about flossing for a while after I knocked out a couple of fillings doing just that.

I find showering to be very calming for me, kind of like having a heavy blanket on. I used to also like super-hot baths, but since going back to school and working full time I don't have time for that luxury anymore. I feel like my skin and hair almost "hurt" if I don't shower. Weird, I know. My Aspie son on the other hand views hygiene as completely optional because any chore that cuts into his video game time is frowned upon. I have to leave a note telling him to shower every single day during summer break or he would go from June to September without taking one!

Sounds like your mother is what I'd call a clean freak, overly excessive about your showering.

I bet if you polled NT people about how much they shower, many wouldnt say every single day.
Of cause a shower is needed if you've worked up a sweat or got dirty or smell at all.

I completely agree. I don't understand why everyone is so obsessed with showering every single day. It's not like at the stroke of midnight, you start to stink and have to take a shower every day. I've showered every second day most of my life, and I've never had a problem.
I think showering every day is a waste of water. It's not really needed. I think all of this "I feel dirty if I don't shower every day" is all in people's minds. Of course, if you're doing something that makes you sweaty, take a shower (I love taking a shower right after I've done some activity and I'm still sweaty. It feels so good), but otherwise, it's not needed every single day.
I'm also like you in that I sometimes get lazy if I know I won't be around people. But if I smell, I won't leave the house until I have a shower.

I also can't make myself have a shower if I don't really feel like having one. For me, taking a shower takes a long time, and it's a chore/hassle. I would pretty much rather be doing anything other than taking a shower. If it was faster and easier (I wish they had sonic showers like in star trek, where you just stand inside it for a few minutes and it cleans you), I would shower every day, but as it is now, it just takes up too much of my time. My hair alone takes me about 10 minutes. I have tried to take faster showers, but it still ends up taking me the same amount of time. And if I rush, I always end up forgetting to wash some part of my body.

I think that this societal idea that if you don't shower every day, you're dirty was created by soap manufacturers to sell more soap. Kind of like how on shampoo bottles, the instructions say "lather, rinse, repeat". Your hair is clean after the first wash. A second wash is totally unnecessary. The only reason they say "repeat" is so that you use up shampoo faster, and have to buy more sooner, so they sell more shampoo.

Showering every day strips the skin of oils and dries it out. Way to go if you want dry rough skin...especially with todays harsh shower gels.

Use a moisturiser? Full of nasty chemicals like parabens and alcohol which dries the skin further.

Better with something home made (can be expensive if you buy home made product) or to use pure coconut oil or cocoa butter (unrefined)

Do you need to shower every day? Only if you have been doing something that makes you sweaty or dirty. I shower when I need to, which may not be everyday.

Same gos for hair washing. My hair is dry as it is, continually washing it makes it worse and causes the natural curl (my hair has been artificially straightened by the hair dresser in my photo, my natural hair is actually curly) to go frizzy as it strips the hair of essential natural oils that would otherwise keep it in good condition. Better to only wash my hair once or twice a week at most using a SLS free shampoo. I am trying a new natural home made soap bar from funky soap...or will be when I have used up the SLS free coconut shampoo and conditioner that I was using. The bar is cheaper...and contains fewer chemical ingredients.

I am looking into making my own soaps and shampoos at home. It is more in keeping with my paleo thing.

But basically if I am not dirty, I don't smell and I don't need to wash my body or hair I don't.

A lot of this needing to shower every day with commercial over priced products is bollocks designed to increase profits in the industry anyway. Showering too frequently may actually be bad for you in various ways, just as not showering enough.

Did you know that blood concentrations of chlorine and chlorine by products increase after taking a shower unless you filter your water?

Daily showers are not essential unless you sweat a lot (which I don't) or work in a very messy or physically intense job or pastimes etc.

Better to only shower when necessary so you don't get smelly.

I was taught to shower every day. It's just something I've done.

Shaving every day is a challenge. I HATE how it feels to shave on a daily basis. I'm content to let the hair grow until it bothers me (3-4 days)...then shave.

I have a hard time NOT showering every day. Even if I spend all day indoors, I feel better afterward, but I also have facial and scalp oils that would produce acne issues if I didn't get the "dirt" off on a daily basis.

I knew a guy with horrible back acne in college. He was getting married soon, and asked me what he could do to solve his problem. I pointed out several things.

1. Wash his bed linen regularly (at least once a week). Linens absorb oils and dirt and just grind it into the skin as you sleep.

2. BATHE BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP. Not right before, but certainly after you're done doing anything that would make you perspire before you go to bed. Clean skin + clean sheets prevents grinding dirt and oil into the skin while you sleep. It also prolongs how long the linens are serviceable. Dirty body = dirty sheets in one night.

3. Use a back brush to ensure he properly scrubs/exfoliates his back. Soap water running down the skin doesn't ensure dirt and dead skin is removed.

Frankly, although you could skip a day in bathing, you're better using a more "natural" soap and showering every day than to skip bathing altogether. Perfumes and deodorants DO NOT do anything but TRY and mask your nasty stench. Don't believe me? Hang around people who don't bathe except once every few days and tell me they don't stink.