Your college experience better than high school experience?

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Nonperson
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31 May 2014, 3:10 pm

Much better. Went from constant bullying and hardly any positive interactions to having a group of friends (not close), a couple boyfriends, and hardly any bullying. I still didn't feel like I really fit in, but people treated me a lot better.



Kurgan
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31 May 2014, 3:35 pm

It's easier to make friends at the university because of shared interests. High school was one big f*cking popularity contest.


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ghoti
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31 May 2014, 4:31 pm

dianthus wrote:
NO. For me college was infinitely worse. And I was told the same thing that it would be better so I was all hyped up to believe that. But it was definitely not better. It was hell, and it changed me and affected me in ways I have never gotten over. I wish I hadn't gone at all, or that I had chosen a different school, or at least put it off for a year like my dad suggested, or if only someone had prepared me and told me how hard it might be. DO NOT tell any high school kid a fairy tale that college is going to be better.

I never liked school at all but I would still say high school was much better than college. And I had the comparison of both public and private school. Private school was horrible because it was religious and very cult-like, and extremely repressive, but I STILL would have taken that over college, because at least people mostly behaved with some common decency and respect for each others personal boundaries. And no one bothered me at all in public high school. But at college I felt like I was suddenly being invaded by people, like I had no privacy, no space to myself, nowhere to be alone, I had people taking my stuff and eating my food and asking for money all the time, and guys randomly touching me in ways I didn't expect and had no idea how things led up to that. I was not in any way prepared for those kinds of situations. No they are not more mature at college, at least not in a good way, they are tasting freedom for the first time. Just think about that. And the pressure to be social is far greater in college than it is in high school.

Unlike most here, i have to agree here. Bullies were outside their parents control for the first time and found me to be fresh meat to bully. Also didn't have protection from the jocks as i had in high school.



caissa
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31 May 2014, 4:35 pm

High school was better for me than elementary school, but college was about the same, maybe worse. I found the social combined with academic pressure crushing, plus I felt very isolated as everyone else seemed to make friends and social bonds but I was alone except for the occasional boyfriend, and usually those relationships were bad.



tetris
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31 May 2014, 5:11 pm

College is better for me. But only after I went to one at where I lived at home. I started at one about 2 and half hours from home and the living away from home way fine but I hated that I only had a small room and a kitchen to live in. I also had issues with buy groceries and stuff, I can't do public transport. I actually only stayed for a 1 week and a half. I now go to one 15 minutes from my house and it is much smaller and much much better. I prefer college because you only have to study subjects that you like. I still only have college friends, the same as I had school friends, like just in college or school. But that doesn't bother me much as I prefer it that way. I much prefer that I can live at home as I have access to a car and get do other things much easier.



schleppenheimer
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31 May 2014, 5:24 pm

Thanks, everybody, for your replies.

I have hope for this college, in that I've contacted other parents who had kids going to this college, and they said that their kids' experiences were for the most part very positive. They felt accepted for maybe the first time in their lives, and there was a lot of opportunity for unusual clubs (anime/jousting/lots of music/women's rights/etc.) where anybody could find "their group."

The other benefit is that my son's current high school is HUGE -- and his college will have less than the number of total students that he currently deals with. His college graduating class will be along the lines of <300. That can be good -- and it can be bad, if you end up not finding anybody that you like. But I feel like my son isn't too demanding of friends. He's super easy going. He likes the idea of having roommates and people around -- he's just the kind of person that doesn't tend to "initiate" anything in the way of having people over to the house, etc. I'd like to think that if he's got opportunities to do stuff right in front of him, he'll jump at the chance.

For example, last night he went to his senior banquet. 450 of his schoolmates went. He belongs to no particular group or clique. This is his second social activity in high school (first one being a dinner for his Amnesty Int. group) [he did NOT go to prom] and he had a wonderful time. I was very surprised.



Danimal
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31 May 2014, 10:04 pm

I was bullied and rejected in elementary school and junior high. I depaired of every having friends. High school was better. I went to a large high school so I could be more anonymous. I had a couple of good friends and involved myself in all the bands. However, I couldn't wait to graduate. I never went to any school events such as dances or proms. Such things weren't intended for me.
I entered Purdue University which has over 40,000 students. My classes were very large lectures and labs. I could be who I was and no one was even watching me. I didn't live on campus. The dormitories were just horrible places, and I couldn't imagine even living in one. I really didn't need much attention from instructors. I dislike too much attention from others in the first place.
It's interesting that my parents didn't make an issue of me not going to the senior prom. Proms are such a tradition that I thought they would insist that I go. I played in an orchestra concert that night. I was so awkward around girls. My mom knew that I would probably never have a girlfriend in high school. She told me that I would probably meet someone in college. She was right.



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01 Jun 2014, 10:56 pm

College is way better than high school. People are much more accepting of differences and you can find friend no matter how weird you are because there is usually someone who thinks like you. Part of this could be that I go to a huge college with 30k undergrad students and 20k grad students. There are also many more options with classes, student groups, living situations, and employment. I enjoy the freedom of college too and being able to be on my own without someone breathing down my neck all the time(I come from a big family).



TUAndrew
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02 Jun 2014, 4:09 am

My college experience was much better had they had dedicated facilities for people on the Autistic spectrum, and it was a generally more mature environment which meant the NT students were more understanding of the condition.



Penandinkmarie
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02 Jun 2014, 5:41 am

High school for me was soooo much better. I was lucky enough to meet some great people and stay friends with them all the way through. Then college came and i was in a new place with new people and I hated it?.bleh. It was awful. My mom always said that the college years were the best ones of her life and they would be mine too?.but sadly i never got to experience what she was talking about. I guess I didn't miss much!



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02 Jun 2014, 9:06 am

Leaving high school left the thugs behind to live their thug lives, whatever.

In college (starting in 1960) I was avoided totally, just as in high school, and very politely, I might add.

But between class years, in 1961, I met my present wife and haven't looked back since.

I believe, with the "discovery" of Asperger's (& etc.) in later years, people's understanding (and Compassion)
have improved quite a bit. This makes me feel really good inside. :D



micfranklin
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02 Jun 2014, 9:36 am

I enjoyed high school and all but my college experience was 3x better. I had SOOO many adventures, incidents and experiences during that time that they'll be around for ages. Even the on-campus parties were things to be talked about.



eggheadjr
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02 Jun 2014, 2:28 pm

High school was hell on earth.

College was heaven sent :D


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Al725
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02 Jun 2014, 3:34 pm

One million times! But I didn't start until I was 24.



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02 Jun 2014, 5:20 pm

Higher education was vastly better than Secondary school. Though I got lots of support for my ASD at school, I feel that secondary education really doesn't prepare you that much for the big bad world like college actually does IMHO.

At secondary school, there was lots of unnecessary scaremongering from teachers about adult life and how you need to pass all your exams or else you'll NEVAAAR get a job. Plus, the bullying and mind games from the other pupils. My last year of school was definately the worst, mainly because I grew pretty bitter and disillusioned with the educational system as well as very angry at my poor performance at school (when, previously, I was actually quite a good pupil). I also got duped into not taking art, which was a buy mistake because I should have been working on my portfolio that year. Plus, they were giving me godawful advice that I'm so glad I didn't take. One such example was telling me not to go to College and instead go straight to Uni (even though they knew I wasn't ready).

But in college, and later uni, there were no threats or emotional blackmail or built tripping from the lecturers, like with the teachers. Prolly because they knew that they didn't need to rely on scare tactics because a)I'm a f*****g adult and b) I chose to join the course. They were sympathetic to my issues and I was able to tell them that I was struggling without feeling like I was being judged. My lecturers were also enthusiastic about their subject and even if they geeked out about a topic that didn't really interest me that much, I would be fascinated because they made it so fascinating.

Classes felt participatory and not passive or phoned in. It also helps when you love the subject. Plus, my peers were also adults from many walks of life, of varying age groups and skills and were all too busy earning a degree to be stupid bullies. Going to uni, its weird being one of the older ones and seeing some mild cattiness between the younger, less experienced students, but its no where near as bad as what it was like at school.

Oh, and at college and Uni, I got tons of support from disability services. College is great, much more than high school. Just as long as he tries his best, your son will be fine I'm sure.