I thank God that I am a person with aspergers

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Hi,
Some may think it rather odd that I am thankfull to God for being a person with aspergers, however recently I have realised that actually it has saved me.

A couple of weeks ago I invited a proffesional LD & ASD specialist to my home, for them to do an assessment in regard to whether I need support to gain employment.
They interviewed me for about 90 minutes.
I told them about my life, right from childhood up to the present day. Their exact words were "You have surpassed what most other people could have done, had they had experienced what you have. In fact, I can say that the majority of people if they had had your life would either have commited suicide, or be jibbering wrecks inside a mental asylum, having full sedation".
I then said "Thankfully the ASD made it so that I felt seperate from what was going on. It was my 'saving grace'." They agreed, and said that I am an inspiration, and that they have NEVER met such an honest and open person.

Has having ASD been Your "saving grace"?
Please answer the Poll.

It is what it is. Would I have had so many problems to feel distant from in the first place if I was born like others?

I don't feel group pride or group identity, and this is just another example of that.

Curse. If there was a cure-all pill for AS I would take it in a heartbeat.

Neither curse or blessing, and either way I wouldn't hold a fictional character accountable for my strengths and shortcomings.

My Asperger's has allowed me to operate admirably in times of terrible stress, and paradoxically is probably the underlying cause for my predisposition to mental illness

I try not to indulge things like pride and shame, they're equally as ugly.

I haven't actually voted because for me the answer is yes, I feel that autism is a gift from God, but not for the reason as yours. My reason for my belief is really multifaceted and there are many layers to it. I guess that what I'm trying to say is that there are many different reasons that feel that autism is a gift from God, although some of the reasons are not necessarily distinct from some of the other reasons. I not sure if I'm really making any sense with this.

One of the reasons is like what is described by Arinka Linders in her short video, "When God created the Autistic Child."
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1SoL4UfPNI[/youtube]

But I don't think about this in any sort of "autism supremacy" way at all.

Another reason, which I find the hardest to really explain, sort of has to do with a thing stated by St.Peter in 1Peter, Chapter 4, verse 13; but this passage is only is part of this reason.

But I also am just grateful for the way I am because God lovingly made me this way and He has a plan for me.

Sorry about being so vague and confusing. I just really don't know how to explain all this.

StarCity - you didn't say whether or not the professional specialists who you invited into your home were successful in leading you into employment. In what way is Asperger's your saving grace? What has it saved you from? Do you believe in 'God'?

If I didn't have Asperger's syndrome then I wouldn't need help to get a job. I'd just have one. I'm 28, still dependent on others and my symptoms are still holding me back. I want to at least know I could have a chance with the opposite sex instead of fantasizing about one person who I've never said two words to.

Yeah, I could ignore all that and just focus on my 'strengths.' But I don't want to. I want my life to work out for once. I'm just over this whole 'autism is a gift' thing. Someone once said that they thought their epilepsy was a gift from God. That's how I see people who say autism or some other condition is a gift. It's BS that just helps them feel better about themselves.

So, I've done the whole glad to have autism thing for years, but I'm getting over it. I just want to have average social skills, an average job and to be able to do most things on my own.

And yes I do become suicidal from time to time but I manage to talk myself out of it and back into a good mood. If I didn't have a mood disorder I wouldn't think about those things.

The funny thing is I'm more high functioning than I've ever been, except for the severe GAD. So I'm trying to become more independent but keep hitting some snags along the way. I just need things to work out for me better if I'm ever to be happy about having this condition again.

I now see my condition in a different way from what I used to. Instead of aggressively hating my Asperger's and my life and wanting to die, I just boil it all down to fate. I know one or two diagnosed Aspies, and a few possible Aspies, and they all seem to be getting along much better than me, social-wise. They all have a loving partner or a busy social life or both. And they didn't even try as much as I have. It's just a case of them being in the right places at the right time and meeting the right people. I've tried joining a few different social group organisations but I didn't make friends out of it. I did get chatting to one woman, but she suddenly left and never came back, and I never got her number to stay in contact or anything. That sort of thing happens to me all the time. I don't blame everything on myself or Asperger's. It's just fate being against me for some reason or another.

I am considering on going to the Pope and pleading for forgiveness for whatever I did to deserve such an unlucky life. No, I'm serious.

I can't vote, because there isn't an option for "Both."

I'm not going to tell you that I count it all joy-- but when I sit down to read the new Playboy (or pick up one of my MIL's Better Homes and Gardens, or leaf through Family Fun) and glance at all the advertisements, I am certainly thankful not to have had the chance to soak up "normal" values.

When I read books about culture and hear about things like "keeping up with the Joneses" and "Mommy Wars," I am tempted to get down on my knees in gratitude to God for all the things that Asperger's has shielded me from.

Then there's the other stuff. Asperger's definitely has its moments of shining glory in my life...

...but on the whole, hey-- I suffered through eight months of Risperdal because the twat therapist told me that, once the medication had completely erased my personality, she would help me put together a new and more acceptable one.

If a cure were offered, and I thought it would work, and not cost me my life, my cognitive function, or my ability to tend my home and family, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

There are things that have emotionally devastated other people that have happened to me but have not affected me in the same way.
I think it is because I am disconnected from other people and detached from normal social expectations.
I don't pay much attention to other people and I am not bound by their social rules and opinions of me.
I live in my own little world guided by my own moral compass.
I guess this is another way of saying ignorance is bliss.

For me autism is a double edged sword that cuts both ways - I have gifts and certain challenges.

It's been a long road to get to where I am today where I'm quite happy with who I am - but I'm quite content now. So, I guess I'm looking for the "both" button as well.

Hi MrGrumpy.
Yes, I do believe in God.
In regard to your questions "In what way is Asperger's your saving grace? What has it saved you from?". Based upon what I have witnessed and observed from other people who have been through simular stuff to me in their lives, I'd say that myself having aspergers made it so that bad things that happened in my life (especially durin childhood) did not have the effect that those same experiences would have for an NT.
Aspergers put a "barrier" between myself and the world. It meant that I intellectualized experiences rather than absorbing them. I rationalized as to to why certain people behaved the way they did, instead of taking it personally.

Human beings are complicated. VERY complicated, but most people are mere representations of their experiences. Most people cannot "break outside of the box". They are victims of themselves.

Intellectualizing, and analysing experiences as persons with aspergers do enables us to see a BIGGER picture of the event that most NT's would take personally.

Hi MaryBird,
I agree with what you have said, and also I like your avatar image.

Hi ImeldaJace,
That YouTube video made so much sense. Thank you for posting it.

Hi BuyerBeware,

I fully agree.
The other day I walked past a fashion show, and there were crowds of people watching.
Personally I couldn't give a damn about what is trendy. I am just "me", but most people seem to want to be someone or something other than themselves. It is very sad.

I'm definitely not ashamed of my AS, but I'm not exactly "proud" of it either. It's just a part of who I am.