Do you ever feel like you don't have a friend in the world?

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MjrMajorMajor
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14 Jun 2014, 10:07 pm

Sometimes I feel this way, but I cannot honestly answer yes. I've been lucky to have sympathetic people lend a shoulder me, so I haven't felt completely alone. I feel so grateful for that...



AspergianMutantt
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14 Jun 2014, 10:11 pm

I am 52 years old, and never had a true friend yet.
Yes, tell me to get counseling for it, thats your usual response, other then being there for me.
I have no use for you, I have no desire to become that self sacrificing saint for you.
I keep hoping but you have become nothing but a vanity to me.
Empty words upon a screen.


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dunya
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15 Jun 2014, 1:41 pm

I am grateful for the people who have helped me out when I found myself in real difficulties in the past. Offering a room when I was about to be homeless. Offering a loan to help me financially. Those who have listened and offered support without trying to give advice.

But a lot of the time the people around me want me to pay attention to them. To listen to them talk about themselves. When I try to share my experience, or topics I'm interested in they don't try to conceal their boredom. They want me to be the person they are not prepared to be.

I am trying to learn the right social skills so I will be seen in a better way by others. To maximise my potential and make contacts who could help in future. I don't mean to use people then dump them. Just improve my chances socially like anyone else would. I don't have the energy to spend a lot of time socialising but I will try to recognise how to do better when I am out, according to my abilities.

But a good friendship is hard to build. I wish there were people who invited me along when they were making plans, not because someone dropped out of the party at the last minute. Those who would go to something I am interested in, rather than expect me to tag along with their interests.

Sometimes it takes me years to work out why I failed in a particular social situation. I wish I'd had someone to point out gently what would have been a better thing to do and given me the chance to try again. That's a friend.



i_wanna_blue
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15 Jun 2014, 5:56 pm

I don't have any tangible, real life friends. I've come to realise that I can make friends if I really want to, and they will be ok to be around and to do a few activities with, but as far as a confidant is concerned, I've learnt people I meet will either be put off by me, or use my troubles against me. I've had enough friends I can be silly around and talk about sports to. I don't bother about finding those type of friends any more. I think though that I need to be my own best friend any way, since friends come and go, but I'll always be me. But yeah I haven't had any friends since I left my studies. I knew my experiences were of a different nature all together and I could see that none of the people around me would be able to relate, so I became a solo entity and I don't think its that bad being on my own. It's boring, yes, but there are worst things than being bored.



scyphozoa
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17 Jun 2014, 10:12 am

it just occurred to me today that I didn't actually know what friendship was. like what are the responsibilities and expectations and rules and all that. i looked up Friendship on Wikipedia and learned a lot of new stuff. i don't think i've ever really had a friend - just people i've known or often been near for school or work.

i'm still not clear on how you maintain a friendship. should you talk to them every week even if you have nothing new to say? how do you even stay friends with anyone if you prefer to be alone and work out problems by yourself?



blackcatz1
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20 Jun 2014, 11:08 am

Learning to make friends as an Aspie can be incredibly painful and frustrating process.

I have watched my brother get rejected and bullied by people he only wanted to be friends with his entire life.

Don?t give up! ☺

Here is an amazing site for Aspies that I found that I think will help you profoundly?it focuses on teaching social skills development, making friends, creating and maintaining long-term relationships, social anxiety etc.

http://succeedingsociallyaspie.com/

Keep trying and developing and friends will come?☺



modelmaker
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24 Jun 2014, 3:54 pm

Yes , Quite often , I have no real true friends , just what I'd describe as 'aquaintences' :?

However, I've generally got used to the way things are, but I often wish I was a better communicator :(


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AspergianMutantt
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24 Jun 2014, 5:23 pm

Oh stop whining, I never had any real friends my whole life, and the one I did think I had cheated on me with my then wife, then stole over 1000$ from me. better off without any. and if your counting women in relationships with as friends, I had a few, and I state again, better off without any.


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