Aspergian Singles List 2.0?

Post Reply New Topic

Really serious about finding life partner.

So we can truly understand one another and not have simple quirks be judged.

Message me on here if you want, but id prefer Skype call Sean0000Talk just push self to contact and if feel awkward/anxious just hang up no problem..

Is there one person in San Francisco, CA, just one person? This being and Asperger forum for the most part, I wonder if anyone exists at my level without having to give myself up to some program. It would be nice having someone on my level to explore hotels and churches with as a childish personality. I get great reception by the normies in most places I go too and the boat captains are great people and handle us very well. I get greeted when I'm around the fishing boats on most days. The shop keeps and the magicians at Pier 39 are getting to know me. I just want a buddy to join me on my adventures in the city by the Gay, I mean Bay. I don't have Asperger's, I'm autistic and very young at heart. Eternally, I'm a 7 year child.

The ladies do love it when you take your disabled friend with you. I have noticed that ladies or guys tend to find my carers quite attractive. Since I can't hide my disability, anyone seen as caring for me gets lady attention if they approach the women or guys, depends on what you want. I guess I'm a chick magnet. I'm an accessory or something. If anyone lives in the SF Bay Area, and they want ladies, let me know and we'll frequent fancy hotels with pretty wait staff.

There are waaaaaaay to many single men and not enough suitable women to go around, just like real life!

if there is anyone else in their mid 30s, are there really any suitable places to meet potential companions that just dosnt turn into yet another sausage fest?

I was actually considering approaching a match making company or a speed dating event, but I remember being dettered in the past since I was not really ready to support anyone else in a relationship especially since my work situation was erratic as a casual with a few different companies.

any one got advice?

Hi - I’m a 24-year-old female, straight, in the UK. It would be nice to chat to anyone who shares my interests.

I’m interested in art, films, literature, languages, science, and rock music. I love writing, conversation, and being outdoors in nature.

Message me if you would like to talk.

I'm Andrew Lewis. But I prefer to be called Drew. I'm 30 year's old. I live in Shelbyville, KY USA. I love art, cartoon animation, animals, manga\comics and video games. I've been single for a long time, and I hope to finally meet a soulmate.

I'm just going to say once again, I am single.
I'm not looking for anybody right away and definitely would take things slow.
I have a child is the big reason.
He's a baby.
I love nature and arts and crafts.
I have noise sensitivities.
Like I said, I'm not looking for anyone right away.
Actually, I should be looking for more friend type people.
I just wanted to post my status for the future.

Hey, just wondering.
Any one considered splitting up the singles list into categories
i.e.

men looking for woman
men looking for men
woman looking for woman
woman looking for men
and others..

just thought that this may be more efficient

especially from a guys perspective
as this would mean that people would not have to go through big lists of men who they are not interested in in that way
and can simply look at the list of eligible woman (well.... at least the 2 on the forum.... from the hundreds of clueless men like me.... lol)....

Single,fit,60kg's,5'9,never married,no kids,monogamous,50yrs young.

Recently relocated to south west Victoria,Australia.

Semi-retired,zero interest in the capitalist system.

Spiritually awakened,guided and connected.

Love animals and nature.

Love simplicity and self sustainability.

Feel free to message if your on the same page.: )

Hello,
My name is Kat. I'm 30 and I live in Eugene, OR. I'm originally from Richmond, VA. I'm a botany student at LCC, looking to eventually transfer to OSU to earn my PhD. I'm 5'1" with a Marilyn Monroe body and weigh about 120. I have big blue eyes and long brown hair. I love art, video games, anime, meditation, gardening/growing gourmet mushrooms, medicinal herbs, sex within a relationship, acting goofy with my partner, weird random YouTube videos, hiking, camping, traveling, going out for drinks/dinner, movies, vegetarianism and lifting weights. I'm looking for a good man who hopefully has the same interests. Message me if you think you're a match. Come and get me cutie

Just to put a word out there again:

I've had ups and downs, and for most of my 30's I've avoided dating like the plague. I think I avoided it primarily because I found that, after a youth filled with rather disastrous interactions with NT women (them liking my looks but then not liking my personality, on repeat to the point of damage), that when I tried meeting people on EHarmony it became really clear that if I wasn't completely attracted I got cold feet and sketched out, and yes - I'd pretty much ghost girls I'd gotten close to on a personal level and I hated myself for that.

The real ethical challenge for me is that if I'm getting close to someone it's because we like and respect each other, if it weren't that way then we wouldn't be talking to begin with. So the idea of actually hurting people who I'd like and having no impact on those I don't like really bothers me. I also had some long-distance dating experiences that showed me the problems with building foundations of a relationship long-distance and online.

If I can give anyone advice on dating long-distance - at some point in the online relationship, before you invest the time and money to meet, you really need to webcam. I say that for a couple reasons - a) you need to be familiar with each other's nonverbal communication and energy and b) you need to see if there's chemistry over and above the intellectual attraction. Short of that you meet eachother and the lack of such preparation and ground work hits you like a ton of bricks.

That said - if anyone does find me interesting or attractive, I need to say it up front - I'm slow-burn. Best way for us to kick something off is talking about mutual interests and enjoying each other's company in those conversations. I'm in the mid-west US near the great lakes, will be turning 40 this year, and so it's probably best - if long distance - to stay within 500 to 1,000 miles.

I wish the best to everyone on here trying to date. It's not easy. Finding people who not only have compatible temperaments but can also can roll with your life changes, are flexible enough to buffer your oddities and you have the flexibility to buffer theirs - it's not easy. Keep up the good work and hopefully even if nothing pans out know that you're among hundreds of thousands, even more, who are in the same boat and that you're never alone in the profound sense of the word.

Is this still a thing? Has anyone managed to end up with someone as a result of posting here?

I like your honesty a lot, but as a woman who absolutely hates ghosting, as I'm sure do most people, what can you promise to those women that would make them believe you are worth investing time in, especially a lot of time as you are "slow-burn" as you put it? You might want to add something there.

It's interesting that you took that approach (ghosting) after a lot of rejection. It's sad, really, that you went through that.

FTR...Though I have issues, when I give advice to people on here it's to help them, not make out I'm an angel.

In a way I think it has something to do with asymmetries of information, like feeling I'm in a position where I don't know the rules at all or where a lot has blind-sided me.

One of the things I clearly need to do is not just get to know people by text - ie. you need to get a read of energy, body language, etc. as well as hear their voice. Having a high-quality pen pal is a blessing, especially someone who you can talk about almost anything with, however sometimes it's better for things to be kept in that zone if distance is already prohibitive and you love who that person is so much that you'd never want to pull their chain.

I think the other assurance - actually talking through these things a little rather than just holding them in my head.

I would add - I'm at least glad, close to ten years later, I have a much more thorough grasp on just how much sway Darwinian evolution has on all of this (heck, culturally that's gone off the walls on the outside). I think that's taken me, at deeper emotional levels, to a more realistic place that I don't think I was in during my 20's.

Alright, but it still doesn't answer my question. It *looks* like to me you're hesitant about dating, and to be honest any woman reading that (OK, the stuff I put on here isn't much better, I feel hesitant too) wouldn't think about dating someone who would potentially ghost her even if you did like her. Again, I really admire your honesty in this.

I agree about knowing someone IRL, despite what I put in my last dating ad on here. I can't do long distance, in my experience it has never worked, and in all honesty, I don't deserve it. I think most people deserve better than that, but aspies like me have an advantage that others don't.

It's good to talk these things through, I agree, which is fair enough. Kind of dipping your toes in the water, to see if someone can convince you to date otherwise? Otherwise I presume you would not be posting it in here.

Maybe I should clarify - these were Eharmony dates, I've never quite done that to anyone on here.

What I started to see, the pattern that I'd never want to let happen again, was that when I wasn't meeting the kind of person I wanted to and was feeling lonely I started letting the conversations go on, getting my fix sort of that way, and then meeting them, realized I'd underestimated certain things about them once I met them, really felt embarrassed and awful about what I'd done but also realizing that I was too choosy for where and who I was.

Having a very distinct personality, which comes with a lot of needs in the way of shared personality traits and being 'seen' on some level has been probably the biggest part of the challenge. Just about everyone has a looks threshold of interest but nonverbal chemistry, matching each other to that degree is critical and if that's missing even looks generally don't seal the deal. Add on top of all that - if looks and nonverbal is there but they can't 'see' you - it's really lonely and even the sex wouldn't make up the difference.

Suppose the only promise I could make is that I wouldn't willfully lead anyone on and, no matter what - if you within striking range of me it's because I like you, think highly of you, and I want our conversations to add value to your life in some way no matter what comes of things.

Also on the honesty - I think it's critical because I actually do far worse when I don't know the territory and I'd want the same in someone I was talking to who could even be like 'TBH - we might be having great conversations but if I meet you and the looks or your body language doesn't click it's not happening'. It's an easy process, ie. dating or trying to line up dates, to have a lot of anxiety over I think precisely because of something Jordan Peterson mentioned in passing - ie. you're sizing someone up on their genes, something they can't help, it's the fundamental of what the process is, and on some level accepting or rejecting what they're fundamentally made of a bit like 'I wouldn't personally help you get your genes into the next generation, but if you behave sure... I guess you can be in the same space with me'. In a culture without any integrity it's nearly impossible to make any of this work, and I think that's part of why far fewer people are dating - for one you really better be careful who you let in, and second it's as miserable to reject as it is to be rejected. Dating in the modern sense is also something of a new phenomena and for better or worse back in the 'old days' when you knew who you'd be marrying almost from childhood you weren't crushed under the weight of a hypothetical universe that's something like infinite better options superimposed in a Schrodinger-like manner over no options and permanent singlehood, the internet's amplified this, made the dating and relationships world quite mercenary, which makes even more people hesitant to step in. For the number of men and women 'going their own way' these days - I completely get it, and sadly we're losing some of our best and brightest.

May as well put myself up here.

I'm 30 years old and male from the joyous UK. I'm looking for a female to just well, see where it goes. Chat and what not, if we end up not hitting it off maybe we could become friends? Who knows.

This bit is less searching for someone romantically but if anyone wants to just casually PM me about anything then by all means feel free to, especially in these odd and crazy times it's good to have people to talk to.