You Might be an Aspie if...

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You still remember information about games you haven't played since you were a very small child, but often can't recall how to tie your own shoes.

The only time you have females to talking to you and touching you is when you are in the hospital and are too sick to enjoy it.

The biggest lie you ever tell is "I'm fine".

You have to wear *two* masks whenever you go out. One to keep you from getting sick, and the other to make it you like you're an actual part of society, which you're lucky if it doesn't make you sick.

You write random fictional school timetables and uniform and homework entries just for fun.

When folks expect you to be delighted when they inform you that "you're not even HALF as ret*d as they all say you are!"

When you just HAVE to complete your step goal----even if the boss notices you walking around the library, and tells you that it gives him the jitters (even though he's over six feet tall).

You might be an Aspie if...

... the constant whirring of concerns, thoughts, and worries in your mind ceases only when you stim or focus on your special interest.

... when you treat others the way they treat you, they get very, very upset, and you cannot understand why.

... you and your partner agree on a "safe word" before attending a social event.

... you are bothered when a kilogram is used as a unit of weight when you know that it is a unit of mass.

... you are more annoyed by the mismatched light bulbs in your dentist's ceiling fixture than you are about the work she is doing on your teeth.

…you are more likely to stay indoors when the weather is particularly nice because that’s when other people are most likely to be out.

You cannot ignore the banging noises from the upstairs neighbours, no matter how hard you try

You don't want your cousin to have a baby, for reasons you don't even understand yourself (and people judge you for it and call you childish)

Being called childish is a huge insult to you

You are memorized by brightly-coloured plastic toys

You are addicted to Wrong Planet

. . . You appreciate mismatched light bulbs as an indication of a better quality spectrum.

When your fiancée shows you something and then after a couple of minutes says, “I showed it to you so you’d laugh not analyze it.”

When you leave work for the day and your coworker says, 'See you tomorrow', and you answer, 'Yeah, probably'

I've actually unthinkingly said this a couple of times.

...your friends constantly place bets on if you'll also know this fact.

...when you have to put the toilet paper roll around the "right" way even at a strangers house.

...when you consider noodles with butter a complete meal.

...when you spend so much time planning a simple journey that by the time you're ready, it's too late.

...when you start to reorganize the shelves at the supermarket, even though you don't work there.

...when you fail at making tea because your favourite mug is still in the dishwasher.

...When you recognise dogs and are always puzzled about who is at the other end of the leash.

...when you are the only person in your household who can "properly" load the dishwasher.