Is this a part of Aspergers or other mental health issues?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi all,

Okay, I wrote recently about my ex girlfriend and you all helped me out a lot. So, thank you.

I have another question which is about relationships and behaviour in them.

I've read pages and pages and pages on Autism. I'm a walking encyclopedia of it I think! So I am much more learnt but also because I need closure for myself over my ex who was Aspergers and whom I was very confused over. I know that I won't get complete closure on it and I've done pretty well to give myself closure that I can move on. I guess these questions are just out of some intellectual interest as well.

My question is (which is too broad, but I will go into detail of my situation) to what point is sabotage about Aspergers or about other mental health issues?

My ex had terrible mindblindedness. When I mean terrible, I mean she could almost never at all see past her own perception. When we first started dating she was very reciprocal because of the whole 'honeymoon' period but as that waned and relaxed, she found it harder and harder to see things from my point of view. At the end of the relationship I found out that she viewed the way I dressed as 'immature', she made fun of me during an intimate moment and when I asked her why she got angry and said it was 'none of my business! Can I not have my own thoughts!?' and did strange things like when we went to a fireworks display she purposely moved positions so that I could not find her. Thing is, I don't think this kind of behavior has anything to do with Autism whatsoever. My main question on this is can mindblindness be so pervasive that it is seemingly impossible for some Aspies to work through it? I'd be interested in hearing from those of you who have worked with mindblindedness in order to be more aware. I'm sitting wondering if some of what she goes through has elements of narcissism. One cannot blame Aspergers for all behavior. I do believe most with Aspergers can work on that side of things. Do some of you find mindblindedness hard to work with? Or have some of you not been able to work through it very well? I'd definitely like to hear experiences on this one.

The heightened emotional sensitivity and meltdowns seemed to be very connected with her. Very pronounced. ANY slight emotional intensity and she will shut herself off for weeks, if not months. She has a common pattern of 'sort of' being in a relationship with the person she is with at the time but ended up breaking it off. She did this with me. She turned more and more silent until I had to say something, which is where she broke it off. She talked nostalgically about a couple of previous partners, one of whom she would on and off sleep with. Again, I guess the emotional sensitivities is different for everyone. I found that with her, emotional confusion and sensitivity bowled into anger and then meltdown. What has your experiences been like with the intensity of emotions in relationships? I'd be interested in hearing that. I think, for her, it seemed that she wanted something so specific; she wanted someone older, where there would be no arguments and always peace and someone who would tend to her rather than compromising. She hasn't found that person yet.

This is a very wishy washy note. I apologize. I guess my main objective is an interest in reading your experiences with mindblindedness and how you work when relationships exit the 'honeymoon' stage.

Thank you.

I think it would be hard to find anyone with autism that doesn't find mind blindness hard to work through. I am pretty much as high functioning as possible for an aspie in this area, yet it is still so difficult. I offend and hurt people and I don't understand that what I said or did was wrong. I sometimes pick up on the fact that I did something socially unacceptable, but most of the time I don't. It just comes with the territory of having autism.