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RobertLovesPi
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24 Aug 2014, 2:02 pm

Once I found out I have Asperger's, the decision to go public with this fact followed shortly thereafter. I want to do what I can to reduce the stigma surrounding Asperger's, and autism spectrum disorders in general. I cannot do that from inside a "closet."

I'm a teacher, so this was not without risk, but I did it anyway, on principle. I have never regretted the decision to "come out" as an Aspie. There have been no negative consequences. On the job, in fact, this helps me. Others where I teach know that I can relate to students on the autism spectrum in ways that non-Aspies cannot, so my being "out" directly benefits students there, and my colleagues respect my honesty and openness on this subject.

Those who are "out" can promote awareness, and acceptance of our differences, simply by writing on the subjects of Asperger's/autism, and making such writing publicly viewable to all. Here are some examples of my doing just that, in blog-posts, with my real name visible: http://robertlovespi.wordpress.com/?s=asperger%27s

I encourage others to do similar things -- especially other teachers. Our subculture will never get past the stigma-stage without many of us gathering the courage to stand up, speak up, and be seen and heard, as those who have a difference from what is typical, but a difference about which they are not ashamed.


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the-comander
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24 Aug 2014, 3:31 pm

RobertLovesPi wrote:
Once I found out I have Asperger's, the decision to go public with this fact followed shortly thereafter. I want to do what I can to reduce the stigma surrounding Asperger's, and autism spectrum disorders in general. I cannot do that from inside a "closet."

I'm a teacher, so this was not without risk, but I did it anyway, on principle. I have never regretted the decision to "come out" as an Aspie. There have been no negative consequences. On the job, in fact, this helps me. Others where I teach know that I can relate to students on the autism spectrum in ways that non-Aspies cannot, so my being "out" directly benefits students there, and my colleagues respect my honesty and openness on this subject.

Those who are "out" can promote awareness, and acceptance of our differences, simply by writing on the subjects of Asperger's/autism, and making such writing publicly viewable to all. Here are some examples of my doing just that, in blog-posts, with my real name visible: http://robertlovespi.wordpress.com/?s=asperger%27s

I encourage others to do similar things -- especially other teachers. Our subculture will never get past the stigma-stage without many of us gathering the courage to stand up, speak up, and be seen and heard, as those who have a difference from what is typical, but a difference about which they are not ashamed.

thats easy to say when you already have a job and a relationship and your older. im 17. telling people could seriously hurt me in life.



RobertLovesPi
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24 Aug 2014, 4:42 pm

the-comander wrote:
RobertLovesPi wrote:
Once I found out I have Asperger's, the decision to go public with this fact followed shortly thereafter. I want to do what I can to reduce the stigma surrounding Asperger's, and autism spectrum disorders in general. I cannot do that from inside a "closet."

I'm a teacher, so this was not without risk, but I did it anyway, on principle. I have never regretted the decision to "come out" as an Aspie. There have been no negative consequences. On the job, in fact, this helps me. Others where I teach know that I can relate to students on the autism spectrum in ways that non-Aspies cannot, so my being "out" directly benefits students there, and my colleagues respect my honesty and openness on this subject.

Those who are "out" can promote awareness, and acceptance of our differences, simply by writing on the subjects of Asperger's/autism, and making such writing publicly viewable to all. Here are some examples of my doing just that, in blog-posts, with my real name visible: http://robertlovespi.wordpress.com/?s=asperger%27s

I encourage others to do similar things -- especially other teachers. Our subculture will never get past the stigma-stage without many of us gathering the courage to stand up, speak up, and be seen and heard, as those who have a difference from what is typical, but a difference about which they are not ashamed.

thats easy to say when you already have a job and a relationship and your older. im 17. telling people could seriously hurt me in life.


The decision to "come out," or not, is an individual one. I will not presume to tell you when, or even if, you should do it -- I was only trying to encourage others to consider doing so, but at a time of their own choosing. I now realize that I should have made that more clear, so I am clarifying it now.

However, being older, having a job, etc., does not necessarily make the coming-out decision easier, or less risky. Someone in my situation, who discovered in their 40s that they have Asperger's, could easily decide to remain closeted, precisely because of having more to lose (such as a career). That's not hypothetical -- I'm quite sure there are real Aspies, my age, who have made the decision to remain "closeted" for just that reason. People of all ages with ADHD, or who are LGBT, or are atheists, etc., face similar decisions -- to come out, or not to come out -- and that decision should always remain that of the individual, and no one else.


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(I dislike the term "neurotypical," so I changed it to something non-judgmental.)


the-comander
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24 Aug 2014, 5:07 pm

RobertLovesPi wrote:
the-comander wrote:
RobertLovesPi wrote:
Once I found out I have Asperger's, the decision to go public with this fact followed shortly thereafter. I want to do what I can to reduce the stigma surrounding Asperger's, and autism spectrum disorders in general. I cannot do that from inside a "closet."

I'm a teacher, so this was not without risk, but I did it anyway, on principle. I have never regretted the decision to "come out" as an Aspie. There have been no negative consequences. On the job, in fact, this helps me. Others where I teach know that I can relate to students on the autism spectrum in ways that non-Aspies cannot, so my being "out" directly benefits students there, and my colleagues respect my honesty and openness on this subject.

Those who are "out" can promote awareness, and acceptance of our differences, simply by writing on the subjects of Asperger's/autism, and making such writing publicly viewable to all. Here are some examples of my doing just that, in blog-posts, with my real name visible: http://robertlovespi.wordpress.com/?s=asperger%27s

I encourage others to do similar things -- especially other teachers. Our subculture will never get past the stigma-stage without many of us gathering the courage to stand up, speak up, and be seen and heard, as those who have a difference from what is typical, but a difference about which they are not ashamed.

thats easy to say when you already have a job and a relationship and your older. im 17. telling people could seriously hurt me in life.


The decision to "come out," or not, is an individual one. I will not presume to tell you when, or even if, you should do it -- I was only trying to encourage others to consider doing so, but at a time of their own choosing. I now realize that I should have made that more clear, so I am clarifying it now.

However, being older, having a job, etc., does not necessarily make the coming-out decision easier, or less risky. Someone in my situation, who discovered in their 40s that they have Asperger's, could easily decide to remain closeted, precisely because of having more to lose (such as a career). That's not hypothetical -- I'm quite sure there are real Aspies, my age, who have made the decision to remain "closeted" for just that reason. People of all ages with ADHD, or who are LGBT, or are atheists, etc., face similar decisions -- to come out, or not to come out -- and that decision should always remain that of the individual, and no one else.

god...................you think if i had a job and people knew i could loose that job, like even if id been working there a long time?



TheWadeSmellbringer
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25 Aug 2014, 3:00 pm

chromanebula wrote:
1. Would revealing it help or hurt our cause?
2. How much bullying would happen to someone who did reveal the secret?
3. What would we call the revelation of our AS? "Stepping out of the crowd?"
4. Is it worth it to reveal AS?

Any thoughts?


I only tell those most important to me and I would also trust my life to. I would recommend that to others as well.


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the-comander
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26 Aug 2014, 12:00 am

chromanebula wrote:
1. Would revealing it help or hurt our cause?
2. How much bullying would happen to someone who did reveal the secret?
3. What would we call the revelation of our AS? "Stepping out of the crowd?"
4. Is it worth it to reveal AS?

Any thoughts?

if you already have a job and a steady relationship id go for it, eitherwise they wont give you a chance and that would hurt us more then it would help us, you included i mean if your siuccsesfull or doing something meaningful in some way shape or fourm then id say yeah. eitherwise id say wait.



the-comander
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26 Aug 2014, 5:13 pm

TheWadeSmellbringer wrote:
chromanebula wrote:
1. Would revealing it help or hurt our cause?
2. How much bullying would happen to someone who did reveal the secret?
3. What would we call the revelation of our AS? "Stepping out of the crowd?"
4. Is it worth it to reveal AS?

Any thoughts?


I only tell those most important to me and I would also trust my life to. I would recommend that to others as well.

agreed.



Protogenoi
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27 Aug 2014, 10:14 pm

I wouldn't come out of the closet on being an aspie.
=



the-comander
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27 Aug 2014, 10:28 pm

Protogenoi wrote:
I wouldn't come out of the closet on being an aspie.
=

me neither



DeformedNostrils
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31 Aug 2014, 6:29 am

I've told a few people that I have Asperger's (only when a conversation about it arises, which is rare). I tell them that it is an advantages/disadvantages condition and that it has no significant impact on my personality. If I didn't have Asperger's I'd probably still be an introvert with similar interests. I often use Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory as a stereotypical example to exemplify the ranging severity of the condition. Few people have talked about it with me again, and when that does happen it is about something they saw on television or someone else saying they had it.

When I tell people I'm autistic they think I'm joking, like saying you're a downie when you do something stupid.

There is a huge stigma in relation to autism, but Asperger's is perceived as a difference at the current point in time. I don't tell everyone I meet I have Asperger's.



the-comander
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31 Aug 2014, 2:02 pm

DeformedNostrils wrote:
I've told a few people that I have Asperger's (only when a conversation about it arises, which is rare). I tell them that it is an advantages/disadvantages condition and that it has no significant impact on my personality. If I didn't have Asperger's I'd probably still be an introvert with similar interests. I often use Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory as a stereotypical example to exemplify the ranging severity of the condition. Few people have talked about it with me again, and when that does happen it is about something they saw on television or someone else saying they had it.

When I tell people I'm autistic they think I'm joking, like saying you're a downie when you do something stupid.

There is a huge stigma in relation to autism, but Asperger's is perceived as a difference at the current point in time. I don't tell everyone I meet I have Asperger's.

honestly, as of late ive become tired of hidding who i am. its not the first thing i would tell people if i met them but yeah, i have aspergers and im kind of done hidding it. i feel like ive either ben hidding it or living a stereotype ever since i became more self aware and i feel like i want to be able to be who i am without having to do either of those things.



ASPartOfMe
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31 Aug 2014, 2:12 pm

DeformedNostrils wrote:
(only when a conversation about it arises, which is rare).


^^^
This.

When I was first diagnosed I stressed over this question. It have finally figured out it is not worth worrying about because it has only come up in in situations where everybody knows I have a disability (support groups, Vocational Rehab)


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CerebralDreams
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01 Sep 2014, 9:56 pm

I generally bring it up when discussing my intellectual gifts, to explain that there's a trade-off in my case. As for people with Asperger's Syndrome who don't have some sort of 'gift', it really frustrates me because I know that most of them are capable. Growing up there was a really solid example: One kid I knew was actually better than me at math, but once everyone made it to middle school they had the opportunity to choose their classes. My parents made me take the hard courses, while his parents let him take the easy ones because it would mean fewer meltdowns and complaints.

The end result is that when I met him after high school, he hadn't even made it through Algebra and I was done with single variable calculus. This kid was smarter than me.



Charloz
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02 Sep 2014, 11:55 am

chromanebula wrote:
1. Would revealing it help or hurt our cause?


Hurt. People would make retarded assumptions based on Television series and movies and other stereotypes. Most would think of you differently, or treat you like a child and talk to you in a condescending manner. It's best kept to ourselves IMO.

chromanebula wrote:
2. How much bullying would happen to someone who did reveal the secret?


Not so much. Mostly just fake pity from people, as if you are suffering from some lethal disease instead of a very common disorder.

chromanebula wrote:
3. What would we call the revelation of our AS? "Stepping out of the crowd?"


More like, stepping into the crowd. Getting unwanted attention on yourself making you stand out in said crowd. Or something along those lines.

chromanebula wrote:
4. Is it worth it to reveal AS?


I don't believe it is. Only if people are knowledgeable, not narrow-minded and act mature about it. In your average person nowadays, fat chance of that happening. A mature response would be ideal... but even then, I'd be worried about how people's perceptions of me change, perhaps in a negative way that remains unspoken. So I remain silent.

I'd reveal it if I was very successful, probably. So I could be seen as an inspiration. At present, I am living at home and unemployed, quite unhappy and, frankly, a walking stereotype. I don't wish to be ridiculed, or give others any more reasons to ridicule people with autism.



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04 Sep 2014, 6:47 am

chromanebula wrote:
1. Would revealing it help or hurt our cause?
2. How much bullying would happen to someone who did reveal the secret?
3. What would we call the revelation of our AS? "Stepping out of the crowd?"
4. Is it worth it to reveal AS?

Any thoughts?


1) Help
2) Depends. Could be more bullying. Could also be less. I got bullied horribly as a child. Had I been IDed as officially different, it might have been less acceptable to pick on me. Maybe.
3) YEs
4) Yes

That said my daughter just turned 7 and is HFA. When she was 6 her school had an autism awareness day assembly where she gave a one girl puppet show to the entire school, outed herself to everyone, and raised awareness among the students. No one picks on her. The one child who did got expelled IMMEDIATELY. Older kids try to help her when she has issues. It's nice and I'm proud of her.

It was 100% her choice to do this and I wasn't even aware until after it happened.



JaredGTALover
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27 Sep 2017, 12:11 pm

chromanebula wrote:
1. Would revealing it help or hurt our cause?
2. How much bullying would happen to someone who did reveal the secret?
3. What would we call the revelation of our AS? "Stepping out of the crowd?"
4. Is it worth it to reveal AS?

Any thoughts?


keeping it hidden from a potential partner who you end up interesting