Scared I Ruined a Potential Friendship

Post Reply New Topic

(Apologies if I posted this in the wrong place)

I was introduced to someone about two to three months ago through a couple mutual friends we have and I have hung out with this person three times since then (outside of school) to see if I wanted to pursue a relationship with them. Well, I discovered I wasn't interested but I wasn't sure how to tell them. I tried to let them down gently on Facebook and the reason I did that was because I have problems expressing myself in intrapersonal communication face-to-face and it's easier for me through social media and I told this person I still wanted to be friends. Now I'm scared they don't want to be friends because I turned them down for any sort of romantic relationship because of my limited knowledge of appropriate social skills and I have no idea what to do about it now.

If the person doesn't want to be friends, then they probably wouldn't make a good friend.

I don't know this person or what you said but do you have any particular reason why you think they've rejected you outright?

In most cases if you make a mistake, then apologise and the explain that you really didn't want to come across as you did, and you would really like to stay in touch with that person, that even though you don't want a romantic relationship you would really value their friendship, then they'll be more than happy to stay in touch.

In fact I've had people apologise to me for all sorts of things they said or did, and I didn't even feel they had anything to be sorry for! This may be the case here. I would send a message like this:

"Hi I'm really sorry if I upset you by saying..... I didn't mean to offend.....I just don't always know how to say these things. You are a really lovely person and hope we can be friends x"

p.s. obviously not with all the ..... That something along those lines depending on what you actually said. I think there's a good chance they will accept your apology and carry on speaking to you.

Hope that helps.

All the best

In my limited experience of this I've noticed that with some women, if they show interest in you and you turn them down/completely miss it then they don't want to be friends no matter how you go about it.

Give it a try, but if she doesn't want to be friends it may be more the situation then what you specifically said. (Although in future I probably would try and avoid facebook as a method to turn someone down)