Your College Experience vs. Experience With Public School

Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

DestinyBlackmore
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2014
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 16

08 Jul 2014, 9:51 am

I had a very awful experience during my days in the normal elementary-through-high school time periods, but I have to say that when I hit college I found my calling. Since I was diagnosed in the 6th grade I slowly built up the knowledge base I needed to deal with people, and though I am still relatively introverted I actually make a pretty charismatic individual. Well, with a few slip-ups. In college I connect with people way easier than I did in high school. In high school I pretty much degraded to the class clown because I was bullied into social isolation, so I felt it my duty to make nice people laugh and the nastier ones who yelled at you for every little thing miserable beyond their wildest dreams. I still feel a bit of anxiety when my mind floods back to my non-college days. I still have yet to let go of the suffering I experienced, but I am working on it. Are any of you experiencing the same issues? The same improvements? I am just curious as to how many others have suffered what I suffered. I know it's common, but I am a stickler for perspectives. I would also like to know how much things have improved since hitting college, too.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,562
Location: Queens, NYC

08 Jul 2014, 10:17 am

I'm truly glad that you are able to transcend your public-school experience, and move on into college, with your love of learning still quite intact.



DestinyBlackmore
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2014
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 16

08 Jul 2014, 10:23 am

I almost lost all of it, honestly. Something just brought me back, and I'm not sure what that thing was, but I am glad to have it.



MissDorkness
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 903
Location: Missouri

08 Jul 2014, 12:11 pm

DestinyBlackmore wrote:
I had a very awful experience during my days in the normal elementary-through-high school time periods, but I have to say that when I hit college I found my calling. Since I was diagnosed in the 6th grade I slowly built up the knowledge base I needed to deal with people, and though I am still relatively introverted I actually make a pretty charismatic individual. Well, with a few slip-ups. In college I connect with people way easier than I did in high school. In high school I pretty much degraded to the class clown because I was bullied into social isolation, so I felt it my duty to make nice people laugh and the nastier ones who yelled at you for every little thing miserable beyond their wildest dreams. I still feel a bit of anxiety when my mind floods back to my non-college days. I still have yet to let go of the suffering I experienced, but I am working on it. Are any of you experiencing the same issues? The same improvements? I am just curious as to how many others have suffered what I suffered. I know it's common, but I am a stickler for perspectives. I would also like to know how much things have improved since hitting college, too.


Wow, all of that sounds pretty darned familiar.
Don't know about you, but, on top of the usual social awkwardness, I was also bullied somewhat extensively from 3rd-6th grade, beaten more times than I could count. I cultivated a bad attitude that kept people away. Only thing that stopped that was coming down with a serious illness and almost dying. No one beat me up after I came back to school from that.

I am pretty cool most of the time now (mid-30's), charismatic enough through work with adaptations I developed in night school and the first few years of work that few today realize I am an introvert... and as they're mostly programmers and engineers, my oddities are pretty well accepted.

Things do occasionally bring memories flooding back. People bumping into me at the store makes me furious because it was usually a prelude to being shoved up against a locker once the teachers weren't looking. My husband handles most of our shopping now, so that's not too often.
Also, usually when I'm hanging out with relatives (which I avoid doing because I don't fit in there), or with my friends wives... and I will say something, totally normally to me, and they will laugh and point out how 'weird' whatever I said was. 'Who uses that word? Really?'
And, while I understand this should say more about them than it does me, it still immediately makes me feel like a lonely little kid who spends more time with books than people because books don't constantly point out how she doesn't fit in.

Of course, those moments bring later reflection where I have to acknowledge how fortunate I am to have made so many dear friends through work, who not only don't mock my manner of speech, they actually join me in it.



Gita
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2011
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 105

20 Jul 2014, 10:36 pm

I was the D - F stupid kid in school. I cried all the time wandered aroung the playground with preying mantis hands, pretending I was a pony or something else and twiriling. I was afraid of getting beat up in the bathroom, so I never went. Kids threw rocks at me and bullied me. I had one friend and she was my cousin, so she had to like me. I was never chosen for teams. I really felt hated and in a way, I really could have cared less because none of It meant anything to me. Basically what saved me from special ed is that I read at college level by the fourth grade, though everything else was crazy talk to me. I remember driving people insane who were trying to teach me math. Miraculously, after state authorities set my parents streight, I started to make higher grades in 11 and 12 grade. It was like a lightbulb turned on. I went from dumb, to honors classes. My GPA was not great due to a bad early start. I got into college due to intercession of various teachers who believed in me, and a decent ACT score. In college I had a 3.89 gpa. I studied my ass off though. I hated that I had not gotten a 4.0. One bad physics test and four moderately horrible semesters of Russian messed me up. I actually had to save my ass from some really bad grades. Final projects involving massive amounts of writing were much easier for me than tests. I liked reseach projects, not regurgitating facts.

Fun times...



MissDorkness
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 903
Location: Missouri

21 Jul 2014, 10:16 am

Gita wrote:
I was afraid of getting beat up in the bathroom, so I never went.
I was never chosen for teams.
Basically what saved me from special ed is that I read at college level by the fourth grade
It was like a lightbulb turned on. I went from dumb, to honors classes.
I liked reseach projects, not regurgitating facts.

ditto



23andaspie
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 28 May 2014
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 92
Location: Seattle

25 Jul 2014, 6:02 am

DestinyBlackmore wrote:
I had a very awful experience during my days in the normal elementary-through-high school time periods, but I have to say that when I hit college I found my calling. Since I was diagnosed in the 6th grade I slowly built up the knowledge base I needed to deal with people, and though I am still relatively introverted I actually make a pretty charismatic individual. Well, with a few slip-ups. In college I connect with people way easier than I did in high school. In high school I pretty much degraded to the class clown because I was bullied into social isolation, so I felt it my duty to make nice people laugh and the nastier ones who yelled at you for every little thing miserable beyond their wildest dreams. I still feel a bit of anxiety when my mind floods back to my non-college days. I still have yet to let go of the suffering I experienced, but I am working on it. Are any of you experiencing the same issues? The same improvements? I am just curious as to how many others have suffered what I suffered. I know it's common, but I am a stickler for perspectives. I would also like to know how much things have improved since hitting college, too.


I had a terrible experience in middle school (and most of high school). I think the difference lies in that college students are much more focused on succeeding in their classes and majors, and thus provide a way for us Aspies to connect and establish friendships though that, whereas grade school is more socially involved.

College was stressful (for performance reasons), but it was definitely a huge improvement over high school and unarguably the best time of my life.


_________________

Axis I: 299.80 Asperger's Syndrome, 314.00 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Inattentive Type
Blog: http://www.23andaspie.com


downbutnotout
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 656
Location: MN, US

25 Jul 2014, 12:01 pm

People were very closed off during public school years, but they seem much more interested in talking with anyone and visiting with classmates now - even me.



23andaspie
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 28 May 2014
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 92
Location: Seattle

26 Jul 2014, 6:58 am

downbutnotout wrote:
People were very closed off during public school years, but they seem much more interested in talking with anyone and visiting with classmates now - even me.


Very similar experience here.


_________________

Axis I: 299.80 Asperger's Syndrome, 314.00 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Inattentive Type
Blog: http://www.23andaspie.com


amazon_television
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,630
Location: I woke up on 7th street

26 Jul 2014, 10:18 am

For me there really wasn't a big difference between high school and college. I kicked it in the background, made my close connections selectively and carefully, partied like a beast, did what needed to be done and for the most part genuinely enjoyed my work and the broader learning process, but never took it too seriously to the point where it wore me down.

I went to public schools from kindergarten on, and my approach from one level to another was never appreciably different.

My grade school/middle school was very small and may as well have been a private school even though it was public, so it's kind of a different case, but the only thought process I had going from middle school (small/suburban) to high school (large/urban) was to lay low and chill humble on a moment-to-moment basis, and take any more acute/negative s**t with a smile and an understanding.


_________________
I know I made them a promise but those are just words, and words can get weird.
I think they made themselves perfectly clear.