The Really Bad Advice Thread

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Joined: 11 Jun 2014
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08 Jul 2014, 2:54 pm

To reduce wear and tear on your brakes, run red lights if nobody is coming. Same goes for stop signs.

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"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms." -- Henry David Thoreau

Kurgan
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08 Jul 2014, 3:05 pm

Job interviews are not popularity contests

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“He who controls the spice controls the universe.”

babybird
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08 Jul 2014, 3:07 pm

If you have a headache the best cure is to jump head first from a very tall building.

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I can't say that I have ever shat on my own doorstep.

Woof Woof! Cheep Cheep!

VegetableMan
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08 Jul 2014, 3:09 pm

I you ever drop a valuable item into a river of molten lava, make sure you grab it very, very fast!

mezzanotte
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08 Jul 2014, 3:15 pm

Forks are out of style.

Eat every meal with a razor-sharp dagger.

cathylynn
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08 Jul 2014, 3:21 pm

smiles are old-fashioned. instead, kick everyone you meet.

babybird
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08 Jul 2014, 3:21 pm

It's always a good idea to slam your fingers in the door.

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I can't say that I have ever shat on my own doorstep.

Woof Woof! Cheep Cheep!

VegetableMan
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08 Jul 2014, 3:24 pm

If a bumblebee lands on you, stroke it gently. It calms them down.

Prof_Pretorius
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08 Jul 2014, 3:32 pm

Whenever trying to impress women, stare at your shoes and mumble about string theory.

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I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke

ThetaIn3D
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08 Jul 2014, 3:32 pm

Yellow snow is tasty pineapple shaved ice.

Campin_Cat
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08 Jul 2014, 3:48 pm

The quickest and best way to start a fire in your outdoor grill is to douse the coals with gasoline, before lighting them.

VegetableMan
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08 Jul 2014, 4:01 pm

Always lie about yourself when you begin any relationship with a woman to make yourself look more appealing. After she falls in love with you, you can tell her the truth -- she'll understand!

ThetaIn3D
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08 Jul 2014, 4:20 pm

Punctuation just wants to take away your freedom.

OnPorpoise
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