The Really Bad Advice Thread

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Teach your kids how the government works by stealing all their sweets and telling them to piss off

Take a 10 foot surfboard on the city bus.

Brush teeth, don't floss, and get toothache and gingivitis later.
Don't shower. Wear the same exact clothes everyday without washing them.
Stay glued on the computer until body is completely exhausted, then crash onto bed without any physical hygiene.
Say bad stuff about others behind their backs to second others.
Eat healthy McDonald's everyday.
Watch porn several hours a day.
Feel lonely for long periods and wrack hyper-inflammation on one's body.
Never update computer software and OS.
Don't use a calendar to schedule daily events. Juggle all the events in one's mind throughout one's day. Don't blame me if you trip. That's your own problem.

try to play the blues on an oboe

When running low on gas just put a bit of sugar in your tank.

Gas tanks aren't really all that different from small children; a little sugar keeps them going a bit longer.

To clear a blocked nose, try using methalated spirits and pipe cleaners.... (Seriously. Don't do this!)

pour gasoline on a hot charcoal grill

Those nosebleed you keep having are normal. It's just you getting old.

go to the ocean and drink a glass of it.

Pick an advise at random on this thread and try it

construct a mnemonic memory circuit using stone knives and bearskins.

Penny stocks on the Toronto exchange are an excellent long term investment.

Ignore your friend's feelings by doing things you know will upset them, especially if they've asked you repeatedly not to do those things. If they notice the irony and feel hurt, insinuate they're overreacting. Remind them you didn't do anything wrong, and make sure they understand you. Repeat.

Fail to clearly communicate perceived grievances and expect your friends to guess your feelings while displaying agitation at them for failing to be able to do this. Make them cry about it if you can. They'll take the hint eventually and correct their behavior through epiphany. They'll appreciate the exercise in subtext.

slap a cop just like that celeb did.

Try and arrest Zsa Zsa Gabor