Dating sites and creepy messages

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Are weird/creepy messages really that bad on dating sites for women? How many of these do you typically get compared to regular messages? I'm just curious, because I assume that if it really is bad it would scare a lot of women away from online dating. I know that if I started getting creepy messages on there I would probably delete my account.

For me, creepy = "obviously did not read my profile" or "obviously the same message he sent to every other woman on the site." I got about 10x more of those than I did from guys who had actually read my profile and wrote a decent message.

That's probably fairly typical in my age bracket - we senior citizens are less likely to elicit (or send) the really really creepy type messages (which in my mind would be anything making direct reference to the sender wanting to perform some sexual act upon the recipient). I imagine the under-30 crowd might receive a fair number of this latter type as well as the usual proportion of the former.

Dating sites/apps are mainly just a joke for women to get attention anyways which is probably why you don't hear about a whole lot about them being scared off by creepy messages and such, since those messages are obviously a form of attention either way.

Typical dating app transparency:
note: you have to pay to message "VIP Users".

Yes, most of them don't bother reading your profile. I interpret it as, "I'm looking for sex/Anyone will do/I'm really desperate".

I've always gotten the impression that they're more irritating than creepy. In this day and age, sex and lewdness is just something a lot of people are desensitized to.

I guess it's weird, yeah, but most of the Internet is weird.

I'm on the one I want to get more members to, in the hope of maybe meeting someone like me.

I deleted the rest, generally I can't be bothered with small talk and meeting up with people from the internet.. neither appeal to me.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 11 Jul 2014, 5:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

http://ingeeklove.com/members/518103284 ... =518103284



She doesn't sound much geeky, geeks are supposed to love [video] games.

I haven't looked at the members there. I don't have much of a say of how the website is built and maintained, I'm using it as a platform, in which I hope to get more members to.

I get about 5-10 creepy/explicit messages each week but i'm not particularly sensitive to it, I just ignore it and move on to focus on messages from men who seem genuine and interested.

I don't get too many sexually explicit messages. I think it's because of my age and I'm not showing much skin in my pictures. If I get them they are usually from guys in their 20s with naked bathroom selfies.

But the creepiest message I got has to be this one which said;

"I'm not a liberal because I'm WAY smarter than that, and I have multiple guns because the constitution says I'm allowed. Wanna go out sometime and allow me to educate you??"

f**k no.

I am just going to be completely honest even though it will make some of the women angry. IMO most women on dating sites don't have a right to complain about the guys on those sites because they are lazy. Most women on dating sites are passive and don't take any initiative even though its the 21st century. They just sign up and wait for "hawt" guys to message them while they sit on their ass and don't do a d*mn thing. So how in the hell do they have the audacity to complain about the messages men send them? If they are experts on what to say why aren't they sending out more messages to men? Also...when did simple copy and paste messages become "creepy"? That's the silliest thing I have ever heard. Men send copy and paste messages because its the smart thing to do... Most men who sign up on dating sites quickly learn that the odds of getting a reply are slim to none so they send more short messages to more women to raise their chances of getting replies. If writing out personal messages to certain women actually got replies men would do it more,but its a waste of time.

The copy and paste messages imply that the guy doesn't care who responds, i.e., ANY woman will do.

What I get out of it is "your picture met my minimum standards for physical attractiveness, and I can't be bothered to read your profile to see if we have something in common, and, oh, BTW, there were 100 other women whose photos also met my minimum standards for physical attractiveness, and it doesn't really matter which one of them I wind up with in the long run."

Seems there are a lot of trolls on dating sites, as well as scammers and fake profiles.

No..... Your response above shows a complete lack of understanding of where men are coming from and what they go through. Men send those copy and paste messages because that's the only way they have a good chance of getting replies. That's not to say that a man is desperate or would have any woman,no not at all.. A man is simply scanning women's photos and seeing which ones he finds attractive and sending them short messages and he will converse with whoever replies. Unlike women most men are fairly open minded when it comes to the kind of women they would date. We don't have arbitrary checklists or unreasonably high standards... We just want a decent woman who we find attractive to spend time with us. The fact of the matter is sending women custom messages is more time consuming and doesn't improve a man's chances of getting replies so most men opt to send shorter "hey,how are you?" Type messages instead.

What it actually means is a man found you attractive and wants to see if you find him attractive and if you are open to being in contact with him. Why should a man have to go to the trouble of writing you a paragraph long custom message when he isn't sure if you will even respond? Why does he have to do it? Why don't women carry any of the weight?