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thedeafvirtue
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11 Jul 2014, 11:45 pm

I've recently started...uhhh..."hanging out with guys"... Yeah, so, my best friend (NT) recently signed me up for a website to meet people. Not a dating site, just somewhere to meet new people seeing how I didn't go out and do anything before. Before all this I was one of the most sheltered kid ever. My mom didn't even give me the "sex talk". Not even joking here, honestly, I didn't even have a clue how to have sex.
Anyway, not the point, I've been going out and hanging out with guys. None of them were sketchy or anything like that. They were all really nice guys. But, after going my whole life with no boyfriend and not having even kissed anyone, never having another human being touch me, I decided I needed to be less innocent. At one point, I was "whoring around" with 3 guys in 4 days. Currently its up to 8 guys. Now, I didn't have sex with them, it was all hardcore making out and some other things thrown in here and there. So, does not having sex with them not make me a whore? Or am I just a different kind of whore?
For awhile I was very close to depression. The only thing that was keeping me from staying in bed all day was my job, so I needed to have some fun. And I had so much fun. I feel like that's all I really needed was to have some fun, and I got it.
I'm not in to the whole "saving yourself for marriage" thing. I could care less. I just wanted it to not be with someone that I was whoring around with. I guess I really just wanted to be in a relationship with someone.
But, this brings me to my next thing. I had this guy friend. I really don't even know if we were dating or not, it seemed like it, but then again it didn't. We just talked...all we did was talk...literally nothing else. I fell in love with him (this guy was before). But after I started all of this, we didn't talk as much. Not that he found this out and he didn't talk to me anymore, we didn't talk for a week at a time because I was busy with work...and whoring around. He doesn't know anything about this. I don't know if I should tell him about this. Would it change the way he thinks of me? He thinks I'm so innocent.
I don't know if I'm a whore, or if I'm just a person looking to have a good time. I don't know if I should tell this guy about all of this, because while we were talking, I had the fullest of intentions to marry him, and I think he did too.
I'm having so much fun with all of this, but I don't want to ruin this relationship I had with this guy., it's the best relationship I've ever had, romantic or not. I'm lost.



trollcatman
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12 Jul 2014, 6:18 am

I don't think there is ever a reason to apply words like whore or slut to yourself. Those words are used just to insult and shame women. It's strange words like that are rarely used for men. Especially since it takes two to tango.

If you want to do the making out/sex within a relationship or outside of it is your choice. If you like that one guy, ask him out and see where it goes. None of his business what you did before you get a relationship with him.



smudge
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12 Jul 2014, 8:10 am

You just sound human to me. Most people have urges, it's normal.


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Girlwithaspergers
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12 Jul 2014, 9:34 am

You're not "whoring around." It just sounds like you finally kissed a guy and you keep at it now.

I also had a similar type of "guy friend." Lol. I've been trying to get in touch with him but it's not working out too well.


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BlankReg
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12 Jul 2014, 1:01 pm

I echo everyone else's sentiments. Do not label yourself because you are enjoying your explorations of a very human activity.

This is a vestige of Judaeo-Christian morality-- A woman who isn't a virgin must be a whore. BS! Men are supposed to be sexually active, but women not? How's that supposed to work (short of a gay apocalypse)?

True women have more at stake if something goes wrong, but I'm assuming here that you will be appropriately careful as the situation arises (no pun intended).

So tell the deep-seated cultural mores in your head to keep their peace, There's nothing wrong or immoral about what you're doing.



Azereiah
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16 Jul 2014, 7:24 pm

Just make sure they all know. Otherwise there's a risk someone'll start getting attached, and bad drama will result.



tarantella64
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28 Jul 2014, 9:01 am

Also, before the pants come off or you kiss a cold sore, please learn about sexually-transmitted diseases, and make sure you understand your own anatomy. My go-to resource for young women is Our Bodies Our Selves, but there are plenty of good resources out there.



kraftiekortie
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28 Jul 2014, 9:15 am

Make sure you get him to help you climax after he climaxes.



Cafeaulait
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28 Jul 2014, 10:47 am

God you are making this all so complicated for yourself. Stop the slut-shaming against yourself. Do whatever you like, but do it safe and don't do things agains your will.
When I was a teenager, I wanted to have fun and wanted someone to love me desperately and craved attention and such, but I never really got what I wanted. So in my early twenties a fooled around with a guy, and recently with another guy. Just like you. I fooled around because I wanted to be liked and desired and loved. And I also thought: why not? If it doesn't work out, I'm just gonna have fun! Looking back on it, both times gave me a scratch on my soul.
I don't wanna have 'fun' anymore. I'm not just going to throw myself to grab anymore. I am 22 years old, and I want a mature and commited soul to build a stable relationship with.



Spiderpig
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03 Aug 2014, 9:24 am

It doesn?t look like you charged anybody to have sex with them, does it? And, even if you?d done so, it?d be nobody?s business but yours and theirs. Slut-shaming really belongs in the past, not in the 21st century.

I don?t know about other people, but, if I were to hold the opposite view, it?d be blatantly obvious I?d be acting out of nothing but envy.


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StagtheStalker
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30 Sep 2014, 2:03 am

Please excuse me if this offends but what does it matter if actually are a "whore". This is the 21st century and this sort of mindset on female sexuality makes absolutely no sense. Now perhaps it makes sense if you are a bronze age desert nomad living in a tribe that must strictly control usage of resources and population growth but you are not a bronze age desert nomad and thus this idea of "being a whore" is irrelevant. If you want to hope on that cock than do so. If not, than hey don't but viewing yourself as a "whore" is buying into a view of female sexuality that is utterly illogical.



SquidinHostBody
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11 Oct 2014, 3:07 am

The Squid agrees with many of the comments presented by your human peers. You need not label yourself because the activities you enjoy.

Perhaps this human male which you present most interest with was giving you more space so you could work? It's most rude in Squid society- and in yours to push into someone's business when you know they are busy. Try calling this male and ask if he would like to talk. He may be waiting for you to contact him.



cubedemon6073
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20 Oct 2014, 7:06 pm

This is what I don't grasp about our society. A guy who has multiple women or makes out with multiple women is seen as a "ladies' man, player, pimp..." but a woman who does the same thing is seen as a "ho, slut, whore, skank, etc." Why does this inconsistent standard exist?

What logic am I missing?



Spiderpig
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20 Oct 2014, 10:04 pm

The premise that women used to be considered men?s property, and not the other way round.


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Who_Am_I
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21 Oct 2014, 6:32 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
God you are making this all so complicated for yourself. Stop the slut-shaming against yourself. Do whatever you like, but do it safe and don't do things agains your will.
.


YES. I agree 100%.


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androbot01
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21 Oct 2014, 4:57 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Make sure you get him to help you climax after he climaxes.


Don't bother, just masturbate after he's gone. It's much more rewarding. Plus most guys lose interest after they're done.