how to be gender neutral in a gender orientated world

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b9
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10 Jun 2016, 6:24 am

why do people have to be so identified with a gender?
you just are what you are physically and you think how you think genetically, and who cares what "gender" is associated with anything?

i do not think like either a man or a woman, but i do not want to find some description that tells me what i am.
i am too busy being who i am to care about that.



lidsmichelle
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14 Jun 2016, 4:54 pm

If someone knows, please tell me.

I still present fairly feminine (and it isn't entirely bothersome, but it's not how I want to present), even though I'm agender. I'm afraid of backlash if I changed my presentation and was open about my gender.


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green0star
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03 Aug 2016, 8:08 am

lidsmichelle wrote:
If someone knows, please tell me.

I still present fairly feminine (and it isn't entirely bothersome, but it's not how I want to present), even though I'm agender. I'm afraid of backlash if I changed my presentation and was open about my gender.


I feel your pain, my conservative christian family still doesn't know the truth about my gender identity. Sometimes when you know something is only going to cause a problem then its better to just say nothing at all. In their minds "gender = genitals" so whether I come out as genderqueer or even trans they will always acknowledge me as a female ...



C2V
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04 Aug 2016, 11:10 am

Quote:
In their minds "gender = genitals" so whether I come out as genderqueer or even trans they will always acknowledge me as a female.

So ... Their heads would completely explode if you ever had bottom surgery and no longer had female genitals.


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08 Aug 2016, 7:48 am

C2V wrote:
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In their minds "gender = genitals" so whether I come out as genderqueer or even trans they will always acknowledge me as a female.

So ... Their heads would completely explode if you ever had bottom surgery and no longer had female genitals.


Are you kidding??? These are the same people that feel that transgendered folks bother small children in the bathroom ... My mom bluntly said even if someone was post op she wouldn't want to use the same bathroom as someone who used to be a man.



C2V
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08 Aug 2016, 10:22 am

^ Commiserations. My relations are the same. Everyone just avoids talking about the proverbial giant rainbow elephant in the room. If you really wanted to blow her mind though, you could correct her on the phrase "used to be a man" and the evidence against that - a transwoman was never a man, even if she was born outwardly male bodied. Part of her brain was always female, otherwise she would not be transgender. I always found the theory about higher than norm exposure to opposite sex hormones in utero a good one, as no transsexual was ever completely their birth gender, or they simply wouldn't be trans.


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12 Aug 2016, 7:58 am

C2V wrote:
^ Commiserations. My relations are the same. Everyone just avoids talking about the proverbial giant rainbow elephant in the room. If you really wanted to blow her mind though, you could correct her on the phrase "used to be a man" and the evidence against that - a transwoman was never a man, even if she was born outwardly male bodied. Part of her brain was always female, otherwise she would not be transgender. I always found the theory about higher than norm exposure to opposite sex hormones in utero a good one, as no transsexual was ever completely their birth gender, or they simply wouldn't be trans.


I tried telling something to that extent to my mom and she got mad at me and said I'm defending those people.



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13 Sep 2016, 7:48 pm

I am genderless. Not sure if that's what you mean by gender neutral or not?

I personally have no problems clicking the male box in forms, bathrooms, etc. Since I am genderless, when confronted with these things I just go with my biological sex. Its all I have to associate with and it is also part of who I am. So I go with that.

The only real struggle I have ever had with it was bullying by male school mates. Not that I ever told them. They could just sense I wasn't quite like them and made my life hell for it. I guess they still do in adulthood. I'm just not around people much these days.



Cintakmarka
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03 Oct 2016, 7:31 pm

I so agree with you on many levels. I can't stand the 'gender' roles and clothing in society. I tend to dress as a guy, unfortunately due to my short height, and female body. I find it difficult to be open in public about my inner feelings to express them to women. I tend to say i'm younger, and look more like a teen guy. than a 30 old woman. Parents have tried to get me to break out of my 'teen' look.



aspiesavant
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19 Jun 2018, 4:25 am

b9 wrote:
why do people have to be so identified with a gender?


Girls have been playing with boys' toys and dressing like boys for decades... if not centuries. But only recently did this become an issue and did it become common to disassociate with your birth sex because of it.

The disappearance of traditional gender roles and the increase of broken homes and single parents may have something to do with it. People increasingly grow up without a healthy role model of either sex, and this seems to confuse the heck out of people, as healthy role models of both sexes are critical in the life of a child or teen growing up. And then there's identity politics further aggravating all this confusion.

We sure live in the queerest of times.