I'm new, does it sound like I have AS?
Acedia wrote:
We can't diagnose. But there isn't much in your OP to really go on. I think the posters here who say you definitely have it are making very uninformed and hasty judgements.
That may be true that they are being hasty to agree. But I think they are just saying, basing on what information I included, it does seem to fit. I think the most important information would be my childhood symptoms, signs, and behaviors, as this would have been before most other complicating factors that blur the symptoms (like coping methods and other learned behaviors) come into play; I will briefly describe those from what I remember and what my mom has told me.
I was always really mellow as a baby, she said I was easy in that I didn't cry very much, she said she always had to rock me or drive me in the car a bit to get me to sleep though. My mom described me as very serious, often unresponsive to my surroundings as a toddler even when she would say my name over and over, and I had poor eye contact. She also said sometimes I would smile at weird times or make other expressions that were inappropriate for the situation, though this wasn't too often. This was well before I started prompting her about symptoms in these past couple of weeks, I had heard her say this and give me examples of it since I was 10 or 11. She said I hated swinging on my baby swing, I would hold my breath and get extremely tense even on the low setting. As a toddler I hated the teeter-totter in the same way, I couldn't even swing if she was holding me. I still don't enjoy things like that very much, and especially with amusement park rides I will only go on them if I am with others and don't want to get teased. She also said when I was 5 I couldn't go to sleep until I rubbed all the yarn knots on my baby blanket, and this routine persisted for years. However, the most prevalent things as I got into later childhood were just two main things. First: I was not social and was still very unresponsive, my teachers would constantly tell my mom I didn't listen and was in my own world, I wouldn't respond sometimes even if they were right in front of me saying my name. My mom even had this problem, sometimes it would take 5 minutes to respond and I would be apparently just sitting there not making eye contact for that time. I still space out like this frequently, and can be almost totally unaware of my surroundings sometimes. That is especially when sudden sounds, even quieter ones, will scare me really badly and I will feel tense for at least a minute or two. I still usually can respond if I hear my name though.
The other thing that was a huge problem as a kid, was 2-3 times a week on average I would have fits of anger (meltdowns?) where I would get so angry I'd just lash out at everything and everyone, and my mom said it was almost always for no reason, no apparent one anyway, unless it was because of the kids at school bullying me which happened somewhat often. As a baby it was usually something to do with a toy not working how I wanted, like the square block not going in the circle hole. Up until about 6th grade I still had major problems with this, I tried to hit a girl with a music stand in band class in 5th grade because she was teasing me about being short. I would also get really angry with frustration, like not being able to get past a level in a video game, and throw things, punch the floor and hit myself on the head with my hand, same if somebody tried interrupting my game. I am not sure if this is what meltdowns look like or if things like that cause them.
But that is basically how I was as a child, either spaced out, not listening to instructions and expressing hardly any emotion, or I would have extreme fits of anger. I didn't have many really specific routines that I am aware of. But during class all I did was origami. I just so easily memorized the material that I got all A's and B's. At home my life was video games. Even with my friends, I only wanted to play video games, or do separate activities, like I would just go over to play their games while they went to play outside.
I don't know how indicative or insignificant these things might be, and I wish I had a better idea of what I used to be like. I do realize nobody on here is going to be able to definitively say either way, but I am just wondering if these things are significant indicators, insignificant, or possibly indicators of something else. I just want to have a really good idea about it and all the symptoms I have before I get an evaluation, and it helps me remember things if I just start writing about it.
_________________
"It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important."
- Sherlock Holmes
L_Holmes wrote:
Annoyingly enough, I have this thing where I can tell when someone is making a fallacious argument or is overlooking important facts, but I can never communicate out loud how I actually know they are wrong or what they are missing, because what I say gets misinterpreted or my thought process is interrupted. They will keep throwing questions at me and give me no time to think. So then I look flustered like I don't know what I'm talking about, when really I just have too many things going through my mind at once, and they end up just coming out wrong.
It sounds like we have a lot of the same problems. I do that too when my brain is thinking of all these ideas, but my mouth makes them come out as jibberish.
I would talk to your grand-parents. It seems like so many of us get laughed at when we disclose our thoughts on autism. Maybe you could just keep reinforcing the idea and keep asking? I did that A LOT.
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