I'm NT and would like help with how best to communicate.

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yournamehere
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07 Aug 2014, 1:02 pm

I have been reading your previous posts. They seem a little twisted. I must ask you, what exactly is it that you want?

I am looking at what facts I can see here. You obviously have been having a rocky relationship for quite some time, asking many people for advice in order to keep things going on. Over 50 posts. In three months.

She may not know what, or how to say things to you, and she is obviously having a very difficult time.

Maybe you should stop being soo intrusive, and wait for her to talk to you.

It doesn't sound to me like what you are dealing with is helping her.

Let her make up her own mind. If she wants to talk to you, and be with you, she will.


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Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

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Nadakan
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07 Aug 2014, 6:37 pm

50 posts!? Most definitely not! I might have spoken about it before, but not to that extent!

No, not intrusive. Trying to understand, yes. But intrusive, no. Perhaps intrusive BEFORE she was diagnosed with Aspergers, but after reading on it, not now.

I think it is all still an amalgamation of confusion on both parts. But I know that she is overwhelmed. The point of this post was NOT to be intrusive and how best to be empathetic to her needs but also keep in mind my own as well.



Shebakoby
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07 Aug 2014, 7:19 pm

Nadakan wrote:
Hi. Are you saying that I am or that she is?


neither. Just saying.



yournamehere
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07 Aug 2014, 10:32 pm

Nadakan wrote:

The next morning I texted her and her response was something like 'Evidently I was VERY drunk last night. Sorry. I just need some space and time alone. Have a good day'.

The question is, is how do I encourage her to communicate with me. How would I go about encouraging communication? How would I word my questions?



How is this not intrusive? She told you she needs to be alone.

How are you helping her?

This ordeal of yours seems to be about you, and what you want. From what I understand, you are coming onto the wrong planet in order to get advice to get what you want.

And it is not over 50 posts like you said. I am under exaggerating. It is over 60.


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Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Bruce Lee.


yournamehere
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07 Aug 2014, 10:46 pm

Nadakan wrote:
50 posts!? Most definitely not! I might have spoken about it before, but not to that extent!

No, not intrusive. Trying to understand, yes. But intrusive, no. Perhaps intrusive BEFORE she was diagnosed with Aspergers, but after reading on it, not now.

I think it is all still an amalgamation of confusion on both parts. But I know that she is overwhelmed. The point of this post was NOT to be intrusive and how best to be empathetic to her needs but also keep in mind my own as well.


First paragraph. Lie

Second paragraph. You admit to being an intrusive person, but you have changed, and now you're soo nice?

Third paragraph. It takes two to amalgamate? You are intrusive, as you have stated... twice... you know she is overwhelmed, she needs space, you don't want to give it to her. You want to communicate, and you believe you are being empathetic? Space is not the place inbetween your ears.


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Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Bruce Lee.


Nadakan
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08 Aug 2014, 1:28 am

60 posts. But not about her. Not at all. You definitely exaggerated on that one.

To be honest, I'll stop right here but you do not know the breadth of the situation and I haven't covered even half of what has gone on. So, you are making conclusions of only what I've told you about.

But let me just say this:

In a relationship it takes TWO people to compromise. No, trying to understand someone is not intrusive if there is no reasonable explanation. Again, any relationship works on compromise and understanding. One person cannot just leave for a long time without any word upon which a reasonable explanation is needed and I will say this; throughout our relationship, it has been a guessing game and for things to be a guessing game is dangerous. One may be overwhelmed, but when there is no explanation and never has been, that leaves the other person wondering what is going on. I definitely understand one being overwhelmed, but the confusion lyes in the fact that there is no expansion on what it is.

So no, you are completely wrong in all effect on here, but this is because I haven't expanded on the whole topic, of which, holds a lot more intricacy.

But thankyou for attempting to advise and help.



yournamehere
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08 Aug 2014, 6:51 am

^^^ you are right, I am completely wrong. You need to defend yourself.

What you have been saying is completely creepy. You sound to me like an emotionally abusive, controlling person. But of course, I don't know the intricate details. Because there is more?

When you say things like " a guessing game is dangerous", if I had any advice for her, I would tell her to call the cops. She doesn't need to tell you anything. Maybe you need to push your obligations on someone else.

She obviously is going through a very difficult time, and you want to make things about you.

There is a type of person that says things like " you are completely wrong in all effect on here" quite often.

Of course I only ATTEMPTED to advise help too ? Probably because that was the advice you do not want.

I feel sorry for that girl, whoever she is. She has no idea what she is getting into. Or perhaps she does.

You should get some therapy.



trollcatman
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08 Aug 2014, 9:51 am

yournamehere wrote:
^^^ you are right, I am completely wrong. You need to defend yourself.

What you have been saying is completely creepy. You sound to me like an emotionally abusive, controlling person. But of course, I don't know the intricate details. Because there is more?

When you say things like " a guessing game is dangerous", if I had any advice for her, I would tell her to call the cops. She doesn't need to tell you anything. Maybe you need to push your obligations on someone else.

She obviously is going through a very difficult time, and you want to make things about you.

There is a type of person that says things like " you are completely wrong in all effect on here" quite often.

Of course I only ATTEMPTED to advise help too ? Probably because that was the advice you do not want.

I feel sorry for that girl, whoever she is. She has no idea what she is getting into. Or perhaps she does.

You should get some therapy.


I haven't read any other threads than this one, but I think you are ranting here. There isn't anything he said to indicate the things you said here.



yournamehere
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08 Aug 2014, 10:33 am

It is actually more like a flashback than an actual rant. I need to get off this site and run away for a while again.


Bye.