Who is more vulnerable during sex?

Page 2 of 2 [ 31 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Toy_Soldier
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,370

15 Aug 2014, 8:10 am

Don't know how others feel about it but I am very careful not to be pushy or aggressive in the least during sex. I think that might make my partner feel anxious, worried, or used, etc. I want them to feel loved and that I am there to make them feel as good as I can and that I feel good doing it. I also try never to be pushy or demanding. Besides again maybe causing anxiety such things have a tinge of fakeness. What is best is what is freely given.

Yes we have different 'equipment', but even there I only use penetration on occasion and instead use and prefer a variety of methods to achieve climax. I try and follow my partners suggestions and wants mostly whatever those might be. In our case there is a definite and intended equality.

Some people like to play roles and that's ok when both are in agreement and comfortable with it.

Its taking a dominant attitude without permission/agreement that is a kind of aggression, in my mind. If someone makes you feel that way, straighten it out without discussion because perhaps they are unaware. If someone still takes an aggressive attitude dump them is my recommendation.



downbutnotout
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 656
Location: MN, US

15 Aug 2014, 8:36 am

This just seems like an uncomfortable way to think about sex... same for "giving it up". Anything about being threatened, hurt, endangered, or taken from.

I hope to find someone who doesn't view sex as anything other than a melding of two bodies someday. I don't think I could let anyone else touch me.



Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,537
Location: Europe

15 Aug 2014, 9:59 am

Stupid topic.



aspiemike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,287
Location: Canada

15 Aug 2014, 11:14 am

I brought up the performance issue with a coworker. Although he is male on the subject, he is married. What I got out of the explanation is that if you don't perform to the expectations of your lady partner, don't be surprised if she goes cold and distant with you and possibly pull the fading act that has been discussed here recently. If your married, don't be surprised if she always has a headache.


The male point of view on it to say the least.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


CodeGrey
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 10 Aug 2014
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 67
Location: Midwest, USA

15 Aug 2014, 6:49 pm

I am (mostly) NT seeing an Aspie man. It strikes me that the responses, on the first page at least, all dealt with physical vulnerability. My mind immediately went to emotional vulnerability. In this case, I would say women because in most cases we are more wired to connect.

My boyfriend can go weeks without seeing me, while I long to see him. It hurts and ultimately will break us up on the end :(. He seems surprised when I tell him how long it's been since our last meeting! He says he misses me, but I'm not sure I believe him.



tarantella64
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,850

15 Aug 2014, 6:52 pm

Ann2011 wrote:
Men or women?

I'm going with women. But I am a woman, so I only know one half of it. For a man, you're putting your most vulnerable appendage into a foreign orifice, but women are being penetrated and pounded.


What a bizarre question.



AngelRho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile

15 Aug 2014, 6:55 pm

If you don't think men are vulnerable during sex, I have but one word for you: Dentata
:twisted:



Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

15 Aug 2014, 7:18 pm

AngelRho wrote:
If you don't think men are vulnerable during sex, I have but one word for you: Dentata
:twisted:


This is why you should always be nice to women during sex, so we don't "forget" to retract our vaginal teeth.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

15 Aug 2014, 7:27 pm

I am already a Wolfman---I don't need Vaginal Teeth to confirm my Wolfiness :wink:



Toy_Soldier
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,370

15 Aug 2014, 10:24 pm

Ok, now I am going to have nightmares like John Carpenter's movie 'The Thing'. 8O



tarantella64
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,850

15 Aug 2014, 11:37 pm

AngelRho wrote:
If you don't think men are vulnerable during sex, I have but one word for you: Dentata
:twisted:


Well, sure, I guess there isn't enough casual misogyny here. Another shovelful suits just fine.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

16 Aug 2014, 3:32 am

downbutnotout wrote:
This just seems like an uncomfortable way to think about sex... same for "giving it up". Anything about being threatened, hurt, endangered, or taken from.

I hope to find someone who doesn't view sex as anything other than a melding of two bodies someday. I don't think I could let anyone else touch me.
'

interesting avatar where is it from?

by anyoneelse, do you mean besides a bf/gf or anyone besides you?
I view it as connecting and love making. seems to me its the closest physical two people can be, joined. I tend to ee things romantically

CodeGrey wrote:
I am (mostly) NT seeing an Aspie man. It strikes me that the responses, on the first page at least, all dealt with physical vulnerability. My mind immediately went to emotional vulnerability. In this case, I would say women because in most cases we are more wired to connect.

My boyfriend can go weeks without seeing me, while I long to see him. It hurts and ultimately will break us up on the end :(. He seems surprised when I tell him how long it's been since our last meeting! He says he misses me, but I'm not sure I believe him.


I assumed it was meaning to physical.
on a emotional level perhaps I have a more female brain. though the women i've been with don't tend to follow that whole women are wired to connect. sexy time with me then moved on. while I still have feelings for them. feels like I always will. I need to be careful, I don't think I have infinite love to give and I still love those I loved in the past. sex does seem to increase said feelings.

I am confused. my experience has been women prefer long periods of no contact, and that daily or weekly contact is seen as clingy.


AngelRho wrote:
If you don't think men are vulnerable during sex, I have but one word for you: Dentata
:twisted:


there is actually a device women can put in their vagina's that when a guy puts his penis in it slides in but when trying to pull out the teeth/barbs dig into the penis attach and then comes out with it. it prevents him from delating and has to be removed with surgery.
even though it isn't legal in the us It still has me terrified. also seems that the rapist would beat the woman to death after this happening, I don't see how it would save lives, stop the rape yes.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

16 Aug 2014, 4:20 am

Female cats have it worst.



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

16 Aug 2014, 4:27 am

Ann2011 wrote:
Men or women?

I'm going with women. But I am a woman, so I only know one half of it. For a man, you're putting your most vulnerable appendage into a foreign orifice, but women are being penetrated and pounded.


That language sounds a trifle, well, violent! "Penetrated and pounded" indeed!



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

16 Aug 2014, 4:29 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
If you don't think men are vulnerable during sex, I have but one word for you: Dentata
:twisted:


This is why you should always be nice to women during sex, so we don't "forget" to retract our vaginal teeth.


Or don't have sex.

Live long and die out!