Are you more of a forgiving or vengeful person?

Page 1 of 3 [ 42 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

donnie_darko
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,981

19 Aug 2014, 12:20 am

I've always been forgiving, perhaps to a fault. I got mugged the other day and only felt mild ill will towards the people doing it. The only thing that really makes me angry is when people get mad at me.



Meistersinger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,700
Location: Beautiful(?) West Manchester Township PA

19 Aug 2014, 1:12 am

donnie_darko wrote:
I've always been forgiving, perhaps to a fault. I got mugged the other day and only felt mild ill will towards the people doing it. The only thing that really makes me angry is when people get mad at me.


To quote Scripture:

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. "

Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

To quote Martin Luther:

You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say.

People must have righteous principals in the first, and then they will not fail to perform virtuous actions.

Forgiveness is God' Command.

To quote Martin Luther King, Jr:

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.



Narrator
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2014
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,060
Location: Melbourne, Australia

19 Aug 2014, 1:47 am

I try to remember to 'walk a mile in the other person's shoes,' though, in the moment, I'm not always successful. By nature, I'm generally optimistic, which means I don't hold a grudge. My own failings haunt me enough, reminding me to forgive others for theirs. Not many things are unforgivable.

The other side that I often take is a pragmatic, dispassionate approach: "John did this, for his own reasons. It has caused no lasting injury. It won't matter tomorrow, so why should it matter today. Move on, nothing to see here." Even with this approach, part of my brain may register John's propensity for such actions, but only as a practical obstacle, not an emotional one.


_________________
I'm not blind to your facial expression - but it may take me a few minutes to comprehend it.
A smile is not always a smile.
A frown is not always a frown.
And a blank look rarely means a blank mind.


Skilpadde
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,019

19 Aug 2014, 2:04 am

It depends on what it?s about, but I am not very forgiving in general. There are definitely things I'll never forgive or move past.
I can definitely be vengeful in my mind, but I don't act on it. But like most people I feel a lot of schadenfreude whenever something goes awry for people I dislike.
I hold grudges. I easily dismiss people, they?re usually just not worth the bother, and the moment they prove it, goodbye. I am far better off on my own than with their kind.


_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy

Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765


cberg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,183
Location: A swiftly tilting planet

19 Aug 2014, 2:11 am

I always forgive; best to be positive while perceptions settle in others' lives.


_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


little_blue_jay
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2014
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 421
Location: Ontario, Canada

19 Aug 2014, 2:14 am

I stew. And I can hold a grudge too.

I stew & stew & stew on stuff that happened days or weeks ago, and review in my head the stuff I should have said or wished I had said. And yes, I hate to say it but I do harbour thoughts of revenge on people who were mean to me or caused me trouble when all did was mind my own beeswax. I think to do that is human :shrug: I don't mean physical revenge, more like verbal!

I wish I wasn't like that so much. Especially when I'm lying in bed at night stewing over something & I lose sleep over it - for some reason that's my brain's favourite time to plot some revenge that's probably never going to get carried out!


_________________
Diagnosed "Asperger's to a moderate degree" April 7, 2015.
Aspie score 145 of 200
NT score 56 of 200
AQ score: 47
RAADS-R score: 196


little_blue_jay
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2014
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 421
Location: Ontario, Canada

19 Aug 2014, 2:16 am

Skilpadde wrote:
But like most people I feel a lot of schadenfreude whenever something goes awry for people I dislike.


Same.


_________________
Diagnosed "Asperger's to a moderate degree" April 7, 2015.
Aspie score 145 of 200
NT score 56 of 200
AQ score: 47
RAADS-R score: 196


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,739
Location: the island of defective toy santas

19 Aug 2014, 2:52 am

I was a supreme grudge holder as a callow youth but as I've grown older and closer to the finish line I discovered that one's negative emotions hold one back from heaven. I will let NOTHING and NOBODY hold me back from heaven, no sir-ee.



Transyl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2014
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 732

19 Aug 2014, 3:04 am

If no one is worth a second (or third, or fourth...) chance then I'd be screwed. Mistakes I've made have torn me up. I've been afraid that people shouldn't love me because I don't deserve it. So if someone was really sorry I'd forgive them. Because I want to believe it's possible to change and become a better person.



skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,295
Location: my own little world

19 Aug 2014, 4:00 am

I try to be forgiving but sometimes I can get bitter. But it's extremely rare that I am vengeful.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,295
Location: my own little world

19 Aug 2014, 4:01 am

Narrator wrote:
I try to remember to 'walk a mile in the other person's shoes,'
Sucks to be them because you have a mile head start and you have their shoes! :p :D

Sorry, I just couldn't resist that one! :D


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,739
Location: the island of defective toy santas

19 Aug 2014, 4:05 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CdVTCDdEwI[/youtube]



LookingLost
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 592
Location: UK

19 Aug 2014, 4:55 am

Forgiving I think, mainly at least.


_________________
Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly...


KingdomOfRats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,833
Location: f'ton,manchester UK

19 Aug 2014, 5:51 am

am unable to get vengeful at anything apart from things that have had a massive long term build up and were a constant part of life.
every day starts anew so if a support staff or family did or said something that didnt like its not reacted about the next day.
however,will always hold a grudge towards the individual who was bullied by from here and the people who kidnapped the hand reared chickens of mine including beloved tito.


_________________
>severely autistic.
>>the residential autist; http://theresidentialautist.blogspot.co.uk
blogging from the view of an ex institutionalised autism/ID activist now in community care.
>>>help to keep bullying off our community,report it!


Narrator
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2014
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,060
Location: Melbourne, Australia

19 Aug 2014, 5:56 am

skibum wrote:
Narrator wrote:
I try to remember to 'walk a mile in the other person's shoes,'
Sucks to be them because you have a mile head start and you have their shoes! :p :D

Sorry, I just couldn't resist that one! :D
Ohhh.. now I feel like the kid who steals the other kid's Nikes. lol


_________________
I'm not blind to your facial expression - but it may take me a few minutes to comprehend it.
A smile is not always a smile.
A frown is not always a frown.
And a blank look rarely means a blank mind.


Andrejake
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Mar 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 544
Location: Brasil

19 Aug 2014, 6:05 am

I forgive almost always. If not immediately, i just need to wait for a few hours and i'm ok with forgiving.