Dated an AS girl not knowing that I had AS also

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dilanger
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20 Aug 2014, 12:33 pm

Title says it all. I couldn't understand why she would go into fits or start getting upset at the things I say. Then she wouldn't understand why I get upset and have anxiety attacks.

We had no empathy for each other at the wrong times. Its why we gave up, I wasn't satisfied with the relationship and it was dragging her down.

Now that I know I want to tell her, not for the sake of getting back with her. I just want to let her know. I don't want to contact her because it might send her into a fit. I never want to do that purposely.


I tried to play the part of an NT and she knew it. I hid my conditions from my own family, the Army and my best friend. Denial that I was like my own sister with schizophrenia, which is a possibility that I may have also.

I just want to tell her in a most uncreepy way after 3 months. Her doctor was right about me. =(

I just had to let this out, maybe I will just forget it and move on.



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20 Aug 2014, 2:44 pm

dilanger wrote:
Title says it all. I couldn't understand why she would go into fits or start getting upset at the things I say. Then she wouldn't understand why I get upset and have anxiety attacks.

We had no empathy for each other at the wrong times. Its why we gave up, I wasn't satisfied with the relationship and it was dragging her down.

Now that I know I want to tell her, not for the sake of getting back with her. I just want to let her know. I don't want to contact her because it might send her into a fit. I never want to do that purposely.


I tried to play the part of an NT and she knew it. I hid my conditions from my own family, the Army and my best friend. Denial that I was like my own sister with schizophrenia, which is a possibility that I may have also.

I just want to tell her in a most uncreepy way after 3 months. Her doctor was right about me. =(

I just had to let this out, maybe I will just forget it and move on.

I think this is a good idea.


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dilanger
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21 Aug 2014, 6:19 am

We broke up on not so good terms, due to the fact that I lived with her. I needed alone time, and she would fight me about it. That threw me into a loop even when the "How to connect with your AS partner" book said that time away would be good. I didn't feel anything until now. It's like my brain just wanted to dump this emotion all at once.



kirayng
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21 Aug 2014, 7:32 am

Write a letter. Put it in a stamped addressed envelope. Then when you are ready, send it out. :) I've thought of doing this with one of my ex's, though not sure how much good it would do after all these years.



dilanger
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24 Aug 2014, 10:48 am

I did it, I wrote a letter after 3 months of being separate. She'll either tear it up or reply. I kept it short and to the point.



The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Aug 2014, 1:31 am

Hmm, what a movie.

Dilanger, it's not her not knowing about your AS is the problem.



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25 Aug 2014, 1:52 am

I've done a similar thing, though a different context from the OP's.
I had this urge to tell something to this guy 9 months after I went out with him (once). I texted him at 3:00am thinking he would read it in the morning but he replied immediately and he was very gracious about it.
I was completely sober but it was really cringe-worthy thing to do and I regret doing it.



The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Aug 2014, 2:29 am

Yuzu wrote:
I've done a similar thing, though a different context from the OP's.
I had this urge to tell something to this guy 9 months after I went out with him (once). I texted him at 3:00am thinking he would read it in the morning but he replied immediately and he was very gracious about it.
I was completely sober but it was really cringe-worthy thing to do and I regret doing it.


Well if it has removed something from you chest then why you regret it?



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 25 Aug 2014, 5:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yuzu
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25 Aug 2014, 2:45 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yuzu wrote:
I've done a similar thing, though a different context from the OP's.
I had this urge to tell something to this guy 9 months after I went out with him (once). I texted him at 3:00am thinking he would read it in the morning but he replied immediately and he was very gracious about it.
I was completely sober but it was really cringe-worthy thing to do and I regret doing it.


Well if it has remove something from you chest then why you regret it?


I thought it would make me feel better but it didn't. And also I ruined any chance I might have had with this guy.
Honestly, I didn't think he would reply so when he responded kindly it made me feel like such a whiny b***h.



dilanger
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25 Aug 2014, 5:55 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Hmm, what a movie.

Dilanger, it's not her not knowing about your AS is the problem.


This is not a movie. This is a forum to read about others life experiences and learn from them and perhaps prevent errors.

Yes, you are correct that her not knowing that it was the problem. It was me not listening.