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Jamesy
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03 Sep 2014, 2:30 pm

Is it still accepted by scoiety that men have be breadwinners and women can stay at home and do the cooking?



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03 Sep 2014, 2:53 pm

Yes.


Edited to add: How much flippin' cooking do you need done???


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sacrip
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03 Sep 2014, 2:54 pm

'Society' is too broad a term. Even 'Western First World' is a stretch, but we'll go with that. The attitude is changing a lot, so women are more and more the one who makes more money than the man, so you don't HAVE to make more money than a woman to be with her. That said, my experience is that couples are usually in the same ballpark, salary wise.


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Janissy
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03 Sep 2014, 3:10 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Is it still accepted by scoiety that men have be breadwinners and women can stay at home and do the cooking?


Yes. In some couples the man works at a job and the woman stays at home. In other couples, the woman works and the man stays home. In others, both work and share the housework when they get home. Which arrangement to do is decided by the couple. It's something that needs to be discussed once a relationship gets serious because disagreeing about it after marriage can easily lead to divorce.

In the societies where women often hold jobs, it is most common for couples without children to both have jobs. The division where one stays home and the other works generally doesn't happen until after a child is born. In any case, it is up to the couple.



MissDorkness
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03 Sep 2014, 3:46 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Is it still accepted by scoiety that men have be breadwinners and women can stay at home and do the cooking?


:lol: Like the others said, I agree.

And, most important, be on the same page.
My ex seemed to be fairly modern open minded, until we lived together. He expected me to take care of all the housework and our son, while paying most of the bills, because he figured, if he paid the mortgage, he was 'supporting his family' (not even close). We made the same amount of money when we got together.
When I got a substantial raise... he had major issues with it, forced me to drop out of school, wouldn't let me attend professional events or work from home, then cheated on me.
SO, he's mired in "the way things should be" and very conflicted when things don't jive with that mental image.

My current husband is older actually, but, when our son was born, he became the SAHD. He does the schooling and the majority of the housework and most doctor visits, etc. It was an adjustment for him, since he was used to working and getting the respect that gave. We're very happy with the arrangement and the kids have always thrived under his care.
Oh, a couple years ago, he was profiled in the newspaper, in the parent and family column. People have been pretty supportive... thought it's still a struggle sometimes to get the school to call him first when they need something.



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03 Sep 2014, 3:47 pm

oh, but, I still cook.
Not because I'm female, but, because my husband's english and I don't consider most of what he prepares to be something I'd eat for long. ;)



mattschwartz01
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03 Sep 2014, 6:47 pm

Roles can define themselves within a relationship irrespective of gender. I know one couple where the husband stays at home and the wife works. They are both perfectly happy in that relationship. She hates housework, he doesn't mind it. He hates the office, she loves it.



em_tsuj
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03 Sep 2014, 8:12 pm

I have a prediction: Women will be the "traditional" breadwinners in a generation, meaning that it will be a social norm for women (at least in the U.S.) to earn more than their male partners. Why? Because women go to college and get jobs that are high-paying and in demand. Men are less likely to go to college or complete college. The number of service jobs is growing super fast. The number of jobs that are traditionally "men's work" are not growing as fast and are paying much, much, much less than they used to.

P.S. Sorry, I know I'm off topic, but the original poster's question has already been answered by previous posters.



MissDorkness
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03 Sep 2014, 9:22 pm

mattschwartz01 wrote:
Roles can define themselves within a relationship irrespective of gender. I know one couple where the husband stays at home and the wife works. They are both perfectly happy in that relationship. She hates housework, he doesn't mind it. He hates the office, she loves it.

You have to do what works for your circumstances collectively.

We ended up 180° from our plan when we were engaged. He did not want to stay home. It was him or me though, and I was the one with a job when baby came, so that settled it.
He adjusted to it, as did I.

It's not a "have to" "get to" thing like one is a prize and the other isn't (referencing the language in the OP), both have their work cut out for them and different pressures and benefits.



kraftiekortie
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05 Sep 2014, 8:05 am

I'll cook for you :wink:



MissDorkness
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05 Sep 2014, 8:25 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'll cook for you :wink:

;) Such a nice boy.



Who_Am_I
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06 Sep 2014, 3:42 am

Yes. It does seem to be slowly changing, though.


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